Partners Against Doom
by Cactuar Runin
Summary: A would be investigator finds herself partnered up with none other than Eddie Valiant, a washed up Toon Private Eye haunted by his own past. The two have different views about dealing with toons. But if they want to keep a certain rabbit from getting dipped, they need to overcome their discomforts in order to solve the crime against Roger Rabbit and ultimately save Toontown.
1. Staged Meeting

Partners Against Doom

Chapter 1: Staged Meeting

For what was possibly the thousandth take, the refrigerator dropped with a resounding bang, flattening Roger Rabbit beneath its bulk. The fridge door swung open and Roger unfolded like an accordion. Blue birds fluttered around his flopping ears, chirping incessantly. Director Raoul called cut.

Atop the toon rabbit Baby Herman facepalmed. "What's the problem now!" he cried angrily.

His New Yorker accent spoiled Herman's infantile looks.

"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!" Director Raoul launched out of his folding chair like a rocket.

"What the hell was wrong with that take?" Herman grumbled.

"Nothing with you Baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect. You were better than perfect. It's Roger who keeps blowing his lines."

Raoul threw aside the script and grabbed one of the birds orbiting Roger's head. "Roger...what's this?"

Dazed, Roger could hardly see the director clearly. "A tweeting bird?"

"A tweeting bird!"

Raoul tossed the bird aside, rounding on the loopy rabbit. "Roger read the script. Look what it says. It says 'Rabbit takes clunk. Rabbit sees stars.' Not birds—stars! You're killing me, Roger! Killing me!"  
Yanking up his diaper, Herman stormed off cursing. "For crying out loud Roger! How many times do we have to do this damn scene? Raoul! I'll be in my trailer! Taking a nap!"  
Herman rudely shoved aside a woman in his way. 'Scuse me toots."  
"Herman has the right idea. I've had enough of this cartoon. Everyone! Lunch!" announced Raoul to the gathered film crew. The director followed after the toon baby.

Climbing out of the wreckage of the fridge, Roger hopped after Raoul pleading for a thousandth and one take. Roger whipped out a frying pan to prove his point and banged his head repeatedly. "Plplllease, Raoul," he stuttered. "I can give you stars. Look. Look! Loook!"

Every manner of dizzying objects except stars exploded out of Roger's head. Soon rabbit and director were swallowed from sight by a trailer.

Among the departing film crew, Dani Sharpe could still hear the toon rabbit beating his brains senseless for the fed up director.

Dani shook her head. " _Phhh_. Toons. All the same."

She checked her watch. Fifteen minutes stood between Dani and her curious appointment with R.K. Maroon, the head honcho and sole proprietor of Maroon Studios. Even now she was clueless as to why the LAPD had sent her to a cartoon studio of all places. What was here that was so important? Why did a successful studio executive (of toons no less) call upon a police station for help?

 _They probably just wanted me out of the way and are laughing_ , Dani thought and imagined the officers and investigators back at the station laughing their assess off at her expense. She banished the notion.

Standing around wouldn't help her situation.

Dani left the confined cartoon set and went outside into the bright, blazing afternoon. Turning the corner of a sound stage she made her way toward the administration building where R.K. Maroon surely waited. At the heart of Maroon Studios Dani waded through a sea of studio workers and countless toons.

She had never seen such a variety of toons gathered in one place at one time.

Nearby, a cast of toon cows were mooing at a "cattle call" as though they were seriously rehearsing lines for an audition. In front of a sound stage a man was playing a saxophone, commanding a team of living brooms straight from Fantasia. At one point Dani swore she saw Goofy, but she didn't bother investigating. Most toons could not get to their destination without cracking a joke, or causing any manner of bedlam that studio workers were forced to resolve.

At twenty, Dani felt childish being sent by her boss to investigate at a toon studio. Sure she had loved cartoons as a kid, in fact she always enjoyed a good Looney Tunes slapstick bonanza after school, but she had outgrown the genre years ago. Dani's tastes had changed just as it did for most adolescents growing up. A yearning to aid others and inspiration from her father had driven Dani to enter a field in criminology right out of high school; unfortunately, her idea of making society a better place extended only to human beings.

Nowadays she couldn't watch a toon's antics without shaking her head.

What did a toon matter anyhow? They had no feelings because they were always happy and goofing off for the pure enjoyment of viewers. For example, unlike people, the concept of death was foreign to toons. Dynamite a toon, he'd shake it off like nothing happened. Drop a huge boulder on a toon and he would stretch his body back together.

Toons were invincible, enough said. No way to kill one had ever been discovered—at least to Dani's knowledge.

All in all the junior investigator didn't hate toons; she'd rather work with people.

 _But then why send me here?_ Dani thought again. _I bet the station is trying to get rid of me because I'm a newbie and a girl!_

Approaching administration, Dani went upstairs to the upper offices. On the way up she squeezed past a brown hippo in a frilly tutu that was a hundred sizes smaller than her.

" _Oh!_ Excuse me," the hippo uttered, maneuvering around the girl.

Dani gave a rushed nod and ran up the steps two at a time. She found the elaborate double doors of Maroon's office on the top floor. The doors were emblazoned with handles molded into a golden M, yet another piece of vanity Maroon used to gloat his success. At the front desk she checked in with Mrs. Bloomers, Maroon's irate secretary with an orange Jiffy Pop hairdo, and was told she would have to wait. At the moment Maroon was talking to another guest, someone he wanted Dani to meet.

Dani turned toward the waiting room when she noticed a full length mirror propped on a wall. Smiling, she waited a few seconds and looked herself over.

"At least I look the part," said Dani. She definitely wasn't dressed like your typical LA housewife, or starlet.

Her usual work attire, Dani Sharpe wore a light blue, collared shirt beneath a black, buttoned down blazer with the sleeves folded at the elbows. Pleated, black slacks and a pair of low-heeled leather boots completed her ensemble. Her wavy brown hair had been cut short, but flared out around her neck. As far as physical build went, Dani was contently average. Being an amateur, the station refused to issue Dani any type of firearm; instead, she carried a folded knife concealed in her right boot.

Not that she required a weapon.

A fair knowledge of self defense was all Dani felt she needed. It was something she had learned well growing up as opposed to her friends who preferred shopping sprees, makeup tutorials, and struggles at catching boys' eyes.

A few minutes later the intercom buzzed, drawing Dani's attention in the waiting room.

"Mr. Maroon is ready for you, dear," said Mrs. Bloomers, primping her popcorn afro without a care.

"That was quick," replied Dani.

"If only Maroon was quicker when he mails me my paycheck late," the bored secretary drawled.

"Well here goes nothing," Dani breathed.

Unsure what to expect, she pushed open the doors to Maroon's office.

* * *

Another muggy afternoon smothered Hollywood like a woolen blanket on fire. Weather sections in the local papers estimated a weeks worth of boiling temperatures. Not since the summer season of 1943 had Los Angeles experienced a phenomenon like this.

Of course nothing short of bad weather could halt the film industry's epicenter of cameras, glitz, and glam. People sought entertainment. Film studios were more than happy to provide, especially where the allure of the mighty American dollar was promised.

The allure of money drew the desperate into the sweltering streets to cash in with Hollywood's elite. Eddie Valiant was one such soul who needed to make a living somehow.

Despite the heat, despite his headache, Eddie Valiant had nonetheless answered Maroon's call earlier. Heading slowly down sweltering Hollywood Boulevard, he wondered what exactly what that decrepit character Maroon wanted from a washed up has been. With a heavy head (and heart) Eddie just hoped Maroon was asking for the simplest of favors. A drawn out crime was not what he needed today, or ever again. It had been too long since the last case, a case Eddie longed to put behind him.

If one thing was certain about R.K. Maroon, the toon tycoon swam in dough. A natural business sense and his good relations with toons made Maroon Studios one of Hollywood's most highly respected toon production houses. The studio ranked only second below Disney! Maroon defiantly deserved the notoriety he garnered from throughout the city, as well as guaranteed bragging rights.

Eddie knew Maroon would pay handsomely for whatever favor he needed done, or so he believed.

He finally arrived outside the sun bleached archway gracing the entrance into Maroon Studios. Bold, Art Deco letters announced the studio and welcomed everyone from off the street. Eddie was easily drawn into the hive of zaniness. Studio workers passed busily by while colorful toons of every shape and size imaginable populated the studio's lanes and sound stages.

Eddie loosened his tie, then lowered the brim of his fedora. Navigating throngs of lively characters he kept a low profile. Some people and toons might recognize him as one of the famous Valiant brothers, a pair of ace toon detectives. Since his last venture into Toontown Eddie had done everything possible to avoid recognition. Valiant and Valiant was a title Eddie desperately fought to distance himself from. He harbored no qualms against toons; although, these days Eddie wanted as minimal involvement with them as possible.

The good old days investigating toon mysteries had died along with Teddy.

"No, no, no! Wait until he gets to his feet, then hit him with the boulder!" Eddie heard Maroon complain as he entered the tycoon's air conditioned office. Maroon stood bent over a moviola, a stressed out editor by his side churning film.

"Right on it, sir," the editor uttered and rushed out of sight through a revolving wall.

Seeing Eddie, Maroon waved him over. "Valiant, welcome. Been too long."

"Yeah, reluctant to be back. So why'd you call me? Do you know how hot it is out there?" Eddie asked, straight to the point. Admittedly Eddie felt blessed to experience the blast of a real AC, a luxury he could never afford. His own dumpy office was cramped and stifling with only a two-speed fan to keep things cool.

"Sorry," Maroon said without sincerity, "but your the only man I could rely on for...say how much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?"

"Only there's no business like it. No business I know," Eddie replied.

"Yeah, and there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. The rabbit keeps blowing his lines every time we drop a refrigerator on his head."

"Roger Rabbit?" Eddie asked, slightly intrigued.

"The one and only. A true king of slapstick whose been failing to live up to his talent with our recent flick," said Maroon.

Eddie had watched a few Roger Rabbit cartoons from back in the day. Though he had encountered a plethora of toons during past cases, he had never met the famous Roger Rabbit at face value. Beyond his cartoons, Eddie knew next to nothing about the screwy rabbit.

Eddie shrugged. "Maybe you dropped one too many refrigerators on his head?"

Sneering, Maroon adjusted his silken vest, yanked free a cigar, and lit it. The stench of tobacco was immediate. "Nah! He's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, he goes to pieces just like you, or me."

"What are you getting at, Maroon?" Eddie snapped.

The tycoon handed Eddie a newspaper off his desk, tapping the front page story with his cigar.

Eddie picked it up, expecting anything. "Seen cooing over Calamari with not so new sugar-daddy was Jessica Rabbit," he read aloud, "wife of Maroon cartoon star Roger."

He threw down the newspaper with a grunt. "What's this gotta do with me?"

"This isn't some chump job, Valiant, I trust you enough with what I have in mind. Besides You're the private detective, you figure it out." Maroon puffed out an acrid smoke ring in Eddie's face. The tycoon was fully aware how the very notion of a full fledged case aggravated Eddie. Sometimes he loved toying with the washed up detective.

Eddie coughed, chocking on the tobacco smoke. He always hated when Maroon breathed in his face like it was nothing. Scowling, he confronted the tycoon, shoulders squared and fists clenched.

"Not anymore," said Eddie roughly. "Plus I have no time for something as domestic as a sex scandal! Find somebody else, or deal with it yourself."

Maroon patted Eddie's shoulders in an attempt to quell him. "Okay, okay! Look at it this way, Valiant. His wife's poison but he thinks she's Betty Crocker. I want you to follow her. Get me a couple of nice juicy pictures I can wise the rabbit up with, that's all. And who knows? You might get a free trip to Toontown!"

Eddie hung his head. "That's low, even for you Maroon. I'll pretend I didn't hear you say that."

Maroon was persistent. "What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe schmo loves Toontown."

"Well get Joe to do the job,'cause I ain't going!"

Again the tycoon tried quelling him and threw a reassuring arm around the former detective. He helped Eddie into a cushioned chair. "Fine. You don't want to go to Toontown. Nobody said you had to go to Toontown. I know what that place means to you. Take it easy."

Breathing heavily, Eddie finally relaxed as Maroon poured him a drink from a set of fancy glasses on a silver tray. He downed the liquid within seconds; the tycoon poured him another glass. Nowadays Eddie found a good, cool scotch was probably the only thing that soothed him—well a scotch and a nice skin flick now and then.

Eddie sighed, years of depression mounting like the fears of a coming atomic blast and death. "It's not so much Toontown, Maroon. You know why," he muttered into his third glass of scotch.

He heard Maroon sighing along with him.

Outside the open window Dumbo appeared. Eddie watched the animated elephant flap his ears in anticipation when Maroon shoveled a handful of peanuts from his pocket and tossed them out. Plucking with his trunk, Dumbo nabbed the peanuts out of the air with ease. He tooted happily at Maroon, then glided off toward a bustling sound stage.

"Adorable ain't he? I got Dumbo on loan from Walt. Him and half the cast of Fantasia," said Maroon, wiping peanut dust off his hands. The tycoon looked away. "Eddie, I can't blame you for being unable to move on, even after all these years. You work with toons your whole life, then you have one kill your brother in such a comedic way that he laughs over you about it...rough."

"You're right, Maroon. I can't get over what that abomination did. I tried the whole solo detective thing, but it never worked out for me." Eddie removed his fedora revealing a poorly thinning comb over. Messaging his brow, he moped away fatigue.  
"Honestly I'm sham without Teddy. Valiant and Valiant Private Eyes is nothing without both of us. You have to find someone else for this case," he went on.  
Maroon reclined against his desk. "Earlier I was exaggerating saying it was a hard job. Just felt like pulling your leg as usual."

"Nothing new there," said Eddie.

"Anyways I don't expect any old fashioned detective work. Secondly, I'm here to help you. Got a camera?"  
Reliable old Dolores owned one. "No, but I know where to borrow one. What are your asking now? Spill it!" Eddie spat.  
The former detective began feeling anxious. What did Maroon mean by wanting to help him?  
"The rabbit's wife sings at a joint called the Ink and Paint Club. Toon review. Strictly humans only. As I've mentioned I need some juicy pictures of Jessica Rabbit, that's all I ask, Valiant," explained the tycoon. "I know as a lone detective you're pathetic."  
"Gee thanks," muttered Eddie under his breath.  
"Easy, Valiant. What I meant to say is you probably need emotional support, so I asked the LAPD station if they could lend an office flunkie— _er_ —junior investigator to join you. The station was more than happy to send someone down."  
Eddie was confused. "A junior what? Maroon—"  
Reaching for the intercom on the desk, Maroon cut Eddie off with the crackle of the speaker.  
"Mrs. Bloomers," Maroon spoke into the intercom at his secretary.  
"You don't pay me enough to babysit, Mr. Maroon," answered Mrs. Bloomers scathingly on the other end."You don't pay me enough really, cheap bastard."  
Maroon paused, his finger off the intercom button. "Lovely lady. She loves to joke from time to time."  
Eddie rolled his eyes. He wondered if Maroon would pay up at all.  
The toon tycoon returned to the intercom. "You can send her in now, Miss Bloomers, Mr. Valiant's new partner."  
"Partner! Her?" Eddie exclaimed incredulously.  
An angry buzz rang throughout the office like a foghorn. Eddie, baffled beyond belief, rose from the comfort of his chair as the double doors swung open, emitting the new arrival.

* * *

Dani entered staring at Eddie, her green eyes unblinking. Eddie stared at Dani, brow furrowed. Awkward silence divided the pair. They measured each other up with critical eyes, taking what they saw at face value.

Maroon broke the silence as he got up, dragged the junior detective across the room, and sat her down.

"No need to be shy in our company, honey," Maroon said. He lifted the bottle of scotch, swishing the brown liquid inside. "Drink?"

Pulled back to reality, Dani gazed up at Maroon for the first time—god lord what an ugly guy!

"Mr. Maroon?"

"The one and only!" Maroon preened. "Drink?"

"S-Sorry. I can't drink—yet. One more year to go," she hurriedly answered back. In reality she disdained drinking alcohol.

" _Humph_ , the law," snorted Maroon and turned slyly back to Eddie. "Valiant, I'd like you to meet your new partner for tonight, Miss Daniella Sharpe. She comes... _recommended_ from the LAPD."

Eddie was too stunned to believe Maroon would set him up like this. Regardless, he shook the girl's hand. "Eddie Valiant, Toon Private Eye— _um_ —forget that last bit."

"A pleasure, Mr. Valiant." Dani returned the handshake. "And it's just Dani thank you."

Dani looked Eddie Valiant up and down again.

The so called detective was older than Dani, much older, but nowhere near as sleazy and conniving as Maroon appeared. He was a bit frumpy, short, and dressed in a dirty white shirt, striped tie, and a long beige coat. Judging by the thinning rate of his comb over, Valiant qualified perfectly for a future chrome dome. Overall, Eddie Valiant wore a perpetual frown.

Valiant was obviously far from enthused about their partnership as was Dani. A Toon Private Eye—who had ever heard of that job? But she could tell something else haunted Eddie Valiant from his agitated reaction at her arrival and his haunted expression alone. Of course, Eddie Valiant's problem remained a mystery all its own to the junior investigator.

At the same time Eddie was judging Dani. Other than her odd attire (she was wearing pants for god's sake!) and mildly pretty looks, he saw nothing super special about the girl. This Daniella Sharpe possessed the wide eyed fecklessness of youth. What aid could she lend during a case—?

Frown deepening, Eddie stopped himself. No! There wasn't going to be any case if he could help it.

 _Those days are over!_ He cursed at himself.

Maroon yet again broke into their thoughts. "Good, good. Now that we're all acquainted get out of my office," he said, nonchalant.

The tycoon yanked Dani to her feet and ushered the girl and Eddie toward the door.

"Hopefully if you like her enough, Valiant, you'll let her stay on board as your protege permanently."

"Protege!?" Eddie and Dani blurted together.

"Sure thing, but first things first. Get me those pictures for Roger!" Maroon ordered.

"Roger Rabbit? What the—? Mr. Maroon I have no idea what the station told you, but I have the right to renounce my services," Dani argued helplessly. She dug her heels into the carpet to no avail. Maroon was stronger than he looked!

Eddie allowed the tycoon to throw him out the door. "Fine, Maroon. I'll get you those pictures, but job's gonna cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses."

"A hundred bucks! That's ridiculous! That's extortion, Valiant!" Maroon shot back.

"Oh, shut up. You of all people in Hollywood can afford it," said Eddie. "Take it, or leave it."

The secretary was right. Maroon was cheap!

"Alright, alright. You've got your hundred bucks. Just get going and I'll see you again later tonight," Maroon said, then slammed the office doors in their faces.

Eddie crammed his fedora back on and adjusted his overcoat. "This job better be worth it," he said, remembering the girl.

He regarded Dani. "Come on, kid. Lets get this done and be on with our lives."

"Just so you know I'm not all happy about this either," Dani chirped. "I don't work for toons."

"Good for you, but tonight you work for me," Eddie remarked and strode down the hall in the direction of the exit. He looked back to where the girl stood rooted outside Maroon's office.

"You coming, kid?" he yelled down the hall.

Heaving a groan, Dani followed after Eddie Valiant reluctantly, keeping to the old detective's shadow.


	2. Ink, Paint, and Patty Cake

Chapter 2: Ink, Paint, and Patty Cake

Pulling to a stop outside an alleyway, Dani set the parking brake.

"So what am I tonight? Your chauffeur? Not to mention we're driving around in _my_ car," she complained, pulling the parking brake.

"Hey! You gotta be of use somehow, and besides my car is in the shop...for an extended period until Maroon coughs up some dough, " said Eddie. "Now quit flapping your gums, kid. We can't be late."

Eddie slid out of the car and slammed the door. He walked quickly into the dingy alley. Locking up her car, Dani had no choice but to follow her so called partner wherever he fancied.

Overturned trash cans, overflowing dumpers, and mounds of household garbage littered every inch of the alley. Fetid puddles clogged storm drains that bubbled up noxious sewer stenches. A bulbous rat scurried across Dani's path, hissing at her with white incisors. Disgusted, the girl hiked back her leg and lashed out with the sharp tip of a boot.

Eddie watched the rat go sailing into a far off dumpster.

" _Ha,_ nice shot, kid! You make a great field goal kicker, for a girl," Eddie managed to chuckle.

"Whatever, and just as a reminder I'm twenty and have a name," said Dani.

The old detective grimaced. "I can call you anything I want. To me you still look like a kid, Miss _Junior_ Investigator."

Dani crossed her arms. "Now you're just mocking me."

"Whatever you say. Lets go." Eddie continued down the alley, then stopped at a riveted door.

"Where exactly are we, Valiant? You failed at explaining where we'd be taking these pictures," Dani asked when Eddie suddenly rapped on the door.

A small hatch in the door slid open. A pair of angry, red eyes glared back at them.

"Got the password?" the eyes in the hatch demanded.

"Walt sent me," Eddie answered.

The hatch snapped closed. Latches and locks were undone as a massive toon gorilla wearing a disheveled tuxedo admitted them inside. Dani gazed up at the menacing simian, knowing the muscular toon could easily best her in a fight. Next to her Eddie wore a smirk.

"Nice monkey suit," Eddie joked.

The gorilla clenched a fist and gave Eddie a dirty glare. "Wise ass."

Eddie led Dani down a corridor toward a set of doors. Above the doors a flashy sign read _Ink and Paint Club_. Passing through Dani became immersed in a whimsical, brightly lit night club of giggling spectators, clinking glasses, and cartoon antics. At the bar a very happy (or very drunk) octopus was pouring drinks with it's mile long arms and penguin waiters from Mary Poppins waddled between tables, serving up food and drinks for the loud, human club goers.

They soon occupied a vacant table looking down a runway toward the main stage On stage right then none other than Donald Duck and Daffy Duck were performing in a dueling pianos act. Bitching at each other, it was obvious neither duck got along.

"Does anybody understand what this duck is saying? I've worked with a lot of wise quackers, but you are despicable!" Daffy spat and spat.

Donald was hardly intelligible. "Darn son of a ?"

Dani stood with Eddie and watched the failing performance carry on. Quacking incessantly, the ducks began battling for pianist supremacy until a devil horned Donald blew out Daffy's piano with a mini cannon. Inevitably it knocked out both ducks. Falling with their battered pianos, two canes yanked the ducks off stage and blue curtains swung closed. A round of claps and laughs echoed throughout the club.

Unamused, Dani clapped her hands in mock gesture. _Ha ha ha. What did I get myself into?_

"You think that's funny?" Dani suddenly heard Eddie yell above the cheering audience. Eddie gripped the collar of a bald man in a tacky suit. As the old detective rattled Baldy vigorously Dani noted an ink splotch staining Eddie's shirt blue and a pen in Baldy's hand.

Baldy wasn't bothered in the least and actually chuckled at Eddie's threat of violence.

"It's a panic!" he said.

"You won't think it's funny when I stick that pen up your nose!" Eddie threatened.

Baldy patted Eddie's shoulders. "Now calm down son, will ya. Look, the stain's gone. It's disappearing ink."

Dani watched in amazement as the ink stain on Eddie's shirt evaporated away to nothing, leaving behind clean cloth.

"No hard feelings I hope?" Baldy smiled like a clown. "Look, I'm..."

"I know who you are!" snapped Eddie.

"Calm down, Valiant! You're making a scene," Dani said coming between the two men. "Who is this guy?"

"Marvin Acme. The guy that owns Toontown. The Gag King." Eddie said, releasing the bald prankster.

"If it's Acme, it's gasser!" Mr. Acme beamed. He held out a hand to Dani. "Thanks for the intervention young lady. Put it there!"

Before Eddie could stop her, Dani grabbed Acme's hand and felt an instant buzz zigzag up her arm and down her body. The shock nullified her senses. She yanked her hand away as Acme exploded joyfully, nearly laughing his butt off.

Acme showed them a round button in the palm of his hand. "The hand buzzer! Still our biggest sellers!"

Dani pretended to laugh along. " _Yeah_! An amusing seller for sure." _Doofus_.

"Forget him," said Eddie and steered the girl back to their table.

A penguin waiter took an order for a drink from Eddie and waddled off. Tapping her foot impatiently, Dani listened as the old detective struck up a conversation with good old Betty Boop, who worked at the Ink and Paint selling cigars on a platter to patrons. Her and Eddie seemed to be old friends. Dani gave Betty a curt nod of acknowledgment and turned back to the stage saying nothing more. Eventually Betty sang her classic a boo boo bedoo boop. It brought a slight smile to Eddie's face, a rare sight indeed to those who knew him. "Up until now I've never seen Valiant crack a smile. Betty's pretty sweet—for a toon," Dani whispered to herself. Around the club lights dimmed and a stampede of raving men rushed the edges of the stage. They frothed hungrily like wolves and tripped over themselves as if possessed. Grinning ear to ear, adjusting an apparent bulge in his pants, Mr. Acme looked just as eager and hungry as the rest of the pack. "What's riling him up?" Dani asked Betty, pointing at Mr. Acme, then everyone else. "What's with them?" "She speaks! Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs," Betty replied. "Jessica Rabbit? Roger Rabbit's wife? She was all the rage in the front page of today's paper. Why is that?" Dani inquired. "Hard to say. Jessica is pretty private about her personal life woman," said Betty. "And Acme?" "Acme's probably got a thing for rabbits, _huh_?" Eddie interrupted. He leaned in close to Dani. "Jessica is the reason we're here tonight. Maroon needs pictures of her..." All of a sudden Eddie's expression slackened when the club fell silent and a long, smooth leg slipped out between the curtains on stage. Soon all eyes were riveted on Jessica Rabbit as she sang and traveled down the catwalk. Behind her, the crow band from Dumbo played a jazzy rendition of _Why Don't You Do Right_ by Peggy Lee.

" _You had plenty money 1922."_

" _You let all the women make a fool of you."_

" _Why don't you do right, like some other men do?"_

Dani was speechless. At first she had expected a mutant rabbit-woman hybrid. From the vapid look on Eddie's face she knew the old detective had had the same image on his mind. But Jessica Rabbit was unlike any toon Dani and Eddie had ever seen in their lives.

One could describe Jessica as the common man's ultimate fantasy.

Jessica was a statuesque stunner with flowing red hair and emerald eyes that matched Dani's own. A sparkling, thin dress hugged Jessica's perfect hour glass figure, emphasizing every exaggerated curve imaginable. The dangerously backless dress exposed her shoulders and hung off her impossible breasts. Grabby hands could have easily reached up and exposed Jessica for all the world to see. Purple gloves covered the length of her arms and on her feet Jessica wore stilettos, which boosted her figure to further heights of eye-popping sexiness.

In the eyes of a close-minded society, Jessica Rabbit represented the epitome of beauty and sex.

Looking down at herself, Dani almost felt a little inadequate. Almost.

As for Eddie he was unable to take his eyes off Jessica.

"She's married to Roger Rabbit?" Dani asked Betty.

"Yeah. What a lucky girl," said Betty enviously. She snapped shut Eddie's gaping mouth and walked off.

" _Now if you had prepared twenty years ago."_

" _You wouldn't be wandering now from door to door."_

" _Why don't you do right, like some other men do?"_

Jessica stepped off the stage and wandered through the audience. Finally she rounded Acme's table. Leaning over the prankster, she slid a handkerchief from Acme's coat pocket and quickly polished his bald scalp to a vibrant shine.

Acme enjoyed every second of it.

Dani and Eddie both froze as Jessica turned her sights on their table. Hips swaying, she strode seductively to them. Dani hesitated, uncertain what the toon woman had planned. Dani caught her breath as Jessica slipped behind her chair, running a teasing finger across the girl's back. Dani exhaled relief. Jessica winked back at Dani as she straddled Eddie's lap and pressed her lady lumps against the mesmerized detective.

Hypnotized, Eddie leaned in for a kiss. Jessica ripped off his fedora and crammed it into his face. Making her way back on stage, Jessica struck a suggestive pose for the partners while singing the last verse of her song.

" _Get out of here, get me some money too."_

" _Why don't you do right, like some other men...doooo?"_

The music subsided and Jessica vanished as the curtains closed once more. Catcalls and whistles erupted in her wake. From under his table, Mr. Acme pulled out a bouquet of flowers and hustled backstage.

Dani's suspicion bloomed; something was up between Acme and Jessica.

"Valiant, wipe that drool off your face and get out your camera," she said. "We need to tail Acme."

Eddie snapped out of his trance, his natural curiosity also piqued. He nodded to Dani and took out the camera he had borrowed from his girlfriend Dolores prior. "Good eye, Sharpe," he complimented the girl. "Lets get to work."

"Wow! I get rewarded with my last name when I do something right," said Dani, sarcastic. The old detective ignored her and got up to shadow Acme backstage. Frowning, she joined Eddie and together they tailed the jolly prankster to Jessica's dressing room—no surprise there!

Knocking first, Acme continued wearing a love struck grin as Jessica let him inside. "Jessica dear, have no fear, your Marvin is here!" he rhymed pathetically.

Dani nearly puked. _Yuck!_

Eddie pulled Dani close. Determination blazed in his eyes.

"Okay, here's the game plan. You go to the door and listen in. Who knows? We could glean some clues about all the controversy surrounding Jessica and broker the information for a profit."

Dani raised her eyebrow. "And what will you be doing?"

"I have to find someplace to snap some shots—" The old detective paled.

All Dani heard next was a primal growl. She yelped as meaty hands hoisted her and Eddie forcibly off their feet . In one fluid motion their captor kicked open a back door. The next thing Dani received was a a face full of trash when she was jettisoned along with Eddie into row of garbage cans outside the club.

"And don't let me catch your peeping faces around here again. Got it!" the gorilla doorman shouted and slammed the door with a bang.

"Ooga booga!" Eddie mocked.

"Great, now what are we going to do?" Dani threw up her arms in frustration when a man's pleasured squeal echoed from a nearby window—Jessica Rabbit's dressing room window to be exact. Dusting herself off, Dani crept below the window and waved Eddie over.

"Oh, not tonight Marvin. I have a headache," she heard Jessica moan tiredly.

"But Jessica! You promised. Just one round of fun. Your siren song tonight wasn't enough. I'm dying of desperation!" Acme gushed from the dressing room

Once again, Dani felt the bile creeping up her throat and threaten to breach her mouth. The way Mr. Acme sounded...a man wanting it from Jessica Rabbit of all women and a toon on top of it...ugh. Was it even possible for them to—? Dani refused to complete the thought.

At last Jessica relented. "Oh...alright. But this time take off that hand buzzer."

Marvin Acme squealed with joy and began playing a game of patty cake, his hands clapping in time with his heavy breathing.

"Patty cake! Patty cake! Patty cake, patty cake..." Acme moaned, followed by a cry of pure ecstasy from Jessica.

"Oh! Mr. Acme!"

The scene was getting too weird.

"What in the world is going on in there? I thought Jessica was married to Roger?" Dani hissed at Eddie. She never once believed a scandalous act like this could evolve between a human and a toon, even if said toon was hypnotically sexy.

Eddie held a finger to his lips, shushing the naive girl. Dragging a wooden milk cartoon under the eave of the window, he climbed up and unfolded the lens of Dolores's camera. He snapped a shot and ducked under the eave, then took another and another as the lovers' session of patty cake intensified by the minute.

By now even Eddie looked ill at ease. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

Covering her ears, Dani hurled the contents of her stomach.

* * *

"Patty cake! Patty cake! _Ahah_! I don't believe it! _Ahah haa hah_! Patty cake! Patty cake! Is that true?"

Roger Rabbit was on the verge of an emotional meltdown. He slammed his head over and over into Maroon's desk scattering pens and paperwork across the floor. A puddle of tears surrounded Roger and the desk like a castle moat.

"Take comfort son. You're not the first man whose wife played patty cake on him," Maroon said, handing Roger a silken handkerchief.

They had returned from the Ink and Paint Club to Maroon Studios as promised with the elicit shots Eddie snapped of Jessica's and Acme's patty cake game. Spectator to Roger's breakdown, Eddie wondered if revealing the evidence about the backstabbing songstress to the loony rabbit had been a wise idea.

Either way it didn't matter to Eddie Valiant. As far as he knew their work was done. His only desire was the promised pay.

Looking over at Dani Sharpe, Eddie had no idea where the junior investigator would go from here. Honestly, he admitted, he kind of admired the girl's spunk. For one thing she had kept an otherwise dull job interesting with her naivety towards toons. He recalled her vomit inducing reaction to Jessica and Acme with mirth.

Roger blew loudly, stuffing his red nose in the handkerchief. Smiling wanly and dripping snot, he handed it back to Maroon, who handed it to Valiant, who finally tossed it at Dani. Making a face, the girl discarded the soaked hanky in the waistbin.

"I don't believe it. I wont believe it. I can't believe it. I shan't believe it!" repeated Roger, shaking a yellow gloved fist.

"Believe it, kid! You saw the pictures. She played patty cake, plain as day," said Eddie.

Scooping the photographs off the desk, Roger flipped through them. Replaying the scene in a blur. "No...not my Jessica! Not patty cake. This is impossible. I don't believe it. It can't be. It just can't be. Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee.

The rabbit was beginning to lose it again.

"Hard to believe Acme would sink this low. He's been my friend and neighbor for years. Who would have thought he was a sugar daddy?" said Maroon, looking out the window at the Acme Gag Factory across from the administration building.

"His wife could be a victim of circumstance. Her and Acme," Eddie whispered back.

"Possibly. You come up with that yourself? Or is that you detective's intuition getting the better of you again?"

Eddie's eyes widened and he swung away from the tycoon. "Intuition? Not a chance, Maroon. Just my personal opinion is all."

As the men conversed Roger wailed a fresh river of tears. Neither Maroon, nor Valiant seemed to care in the slightest. To them the whole situation was a game to take advantage of for attention and quick cash. Dani scowled at them and, before realizing it, she was petting Roger's back, her fingers sinking into his surprisingly soft fur.

Caught off guard, Eddie and Maroon clammed up.

While the girl's actions went totally against her natural pessimism towards toons, at the very least Dani could show a dose sympathy where others failed to express it.

" _Huh_?" Roger sniffled. He stared up at Dani.

"Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. We don't have any evidence beyond these pictures Valiant took. There's not much to accuse Jessica of..." Dani trailed shyly.

Would you really call a game of patty cake a cause for adultery? Toons made absolutely no sense.

Roger let the photographs slip from his nerveless fingers. His huge, blue eyes watered.

"I guess it could be true. Maybe it's a mistake. Who really knows?" said the rabbit.

Dani replaced her hand and patted Roger's left arm comfortingly. "That's right, Roger. Whose to say?"

Roger sniffled, then gave a nod. "Thanks for being so understanding, Miss... _um_?"

"Sharpe. Dani Sharpe. I worked with Valiant...just for tonight," replied Dani.

Maroon pushed between girl and rabbit holding an empty glass and the bottle of scotch. "Sounds swell, Sharpe. But now how's about a drinks son? It'll make you feel better."

Dani scowled at Maroon anew. Were drinks his only solution to every problem in life?

The tycoon poured scotch into a glass and offered it to Roger, who gulped it down in one swig. Before they knew what was happening Roger twisted and twitched where he sat, his entire body flashing an array of rainbow colors. His eyes inflated like airbags and blew out of their sockets. A missile, Roger jumped into the air. His head morphed into an ear splitting whistle that caused the windows to crack followed by the scotch bottle in Maroon's hand, which exploded in a shower of glass shards.

Several glass trophies won by the tycoon in years past burst to pieces under the intense whistling. Maroon, Eddie, and Dani screwed their hands over their ears and shrank away from the whistling toon.

Seconds later Roger collapsed face down upon Maroon's desk, his seemingly endless toonish energy spent. He gave the tycoon a thumbs up. "Thanks, Mr, Maroon. That really cleared me up."

"Wow," Dani gasped, arms dropping to her sides.

Eddie shook droplets of scotch Roger had sprayed off his coat. "Son of a bitch." He turned back to Maroon. "Alright Mr. Maroon. I completed my end of the bargain. Pay up already."

"A deal's a deal," said Maroon and handed him a check.

Eddie held up the check to the lamplight, relishing it. "All's well that ends well."

Dani confronted the old detective, arms akimbo. "So Valiant, you did it solely for the money?"

"Of course I did. What other reason is there?" he said.

"What about Roger? And Jessica?"

"What about them? There is no case to solve, I told you that, and besides I retired from detective after my brother...passed away." Eddie gave the girl a lopsided grin. "Since when did you care about a toon's welfare? I remember you saying you don't work for toons."

The girl was taken aback. "W-Well, true. But that doesn't make me h-heartless," she struggled saying.

Maroon leaned on the desk, addressing Roger. "Roger. I know all this seems pretty painful now. But you'll find someone new. Won't he Mr. Valiant?

Eddie stepped around Dani and responded, "Oh yeah, sure! A good looking guy like that."

Roger lifted his head toward Eddie.

"The dames will be breaking his door down," said Eddie with a hint of cruel humor.

Spurred by Eddie's words, Roger became animatedly unpredictable. "Dames! What dames?"

Roger pounced on the old detective and gripped Eddie by his tie. The toon screamed in his face. "Jessica's the only one for me! You'll see. We'll rise above this pickling peccadillo! We're going to be happy again. You got that? Capital H-A-P-P-I!"

Faster than a gunshot, faster than the eye could catch, Roger zipped out the window with a crash and was out of sight. The center of the curtain and the window were etched in the shape of the rabbit's speedy getaway.

Dani was at a loss for words. "That was...dramatic."

"Well, at least he took it well. I think," Valiant muttered to Maroon.

The tycoon agreed. "Could have been worse. You heading home, Valiant?"

"Do you have to ask? It's been a long day." Eddie bade R.K. Maroon farewell, blew past Dani, then halted. He turned back to the junior investigator.

"I don't feel like walking and the Red Car is closed for the night. Sharpe, you think you could—?"

Before Valiant could finish his sentence Dani cursed. She headed out the door, barreling aside the old detective whilst twirling a key ring on her middle finger.

" _Huh_. Talk about feisty. I think I'll keep her for a while," Eddie said over his shoulder at Maroon.

Zipping up his coat, he chased after Dani Sharpe.

Alone, Rodger trudged through the lifeless studio until he reached the Acme Factory. The building's giant neon Acme sign eclipsed the toon rabbit with its angry red light. Roger cried. He climbed onto a crate and from his wallet flipped out pictures of him and Jessica on several dates—happier times.

"Jessica... P-p-pllllease tell me it's not true. P-p-p-p-pllllease!" he blubbered, hanging his head in shame.

Burdened by sorrow, Roger failed to hear the meteoric crash and cry within the Acme Factory.


	3. Can't Sleep

Chapter 3: Can't Sleep

" _Ugh._ My kingdom for a cushion," Dani muttered, then squeezed her nose. "Scratch that. A cushion and a gas mask."

For the hundredth time she rolled over in the rickety chair. Stiff, Dani propped up her legs on the desk and leaned back, using her folded jack as a pillow against the windowsill. She closed her eyes only to wake up again out of discomfort.

 _This is my reward for being too charitable_ , she thought irritably.

Above the office door the clock ticked at a snails pace, aggravating the junior investigator.

Three hours had barely passed since Dani and Eddie arrived at the latter's stuffy office late from Maroon Studios. Three hours ago Dani's car died alongside the curb from an empty tank. In those three hours fate had consigned Dani to shack up with Valiant, rendering her an innocent victim of back ache and fumes. Within those hours she barely caught a wink of sleep hurting and suffocating.

A refried fart—it was the only other sound—across the office broke the monotonous ticking din.

Dani glanced over at Eddie Valiant snug as a bug in his fold out file cabinet bed. "You ate those beans before you hit the sack just to make me suffer, didn't you?" she seethed. Apparently, cans of refried taco shop beans were about the only thing besides boos that Eddie Valiant could afford as of late. Well, it was either beans or starve to death!

Her wakened mind turned to Roger Rabbit.

For a toon, Roger had taken Jessica's fling extremely hard, and with devastating results only a toon could conjure. At best Roger would forget about the affair and find someone more toonish and honorable than Jessica. To Dani, Jessica Rabbit was nothing more than a floozy, someone who would use a friendly albeit wacky guy like Roger.

 _Wait. Why am I even thinking about these toons?! Not my problem._ Dani quickly refocused on Eddie, someone she like Roger with Jessica was forced to endure.

From where he slept the old detective snoozed on in contentment, heedless of his roommate's suffrage. Occasionally, Eddie cried _"Teddy! No!"_ in his sleep and cringed under the covers as fearful as a newborn. His fits would cease soon afterward followed by flatulent eruptions.

"A victim of your nightmares. _Eh,_ Valiant?" whispered Dani, feeling a tad sorry for the old detective.

Fully awake, she stood up when something sparked her interest.

Fine layers of dust veiled the front of Eddie's desk. Beneath the dust the desk was strewed with ancient newspaper clippings, picture frames, books, and other interesting, personal effects. Nothing appeared to have been disturbed in the passing years. Curiosity (and sheer boredom!) beat out Dani's better judgment. Switching on the desk lamp carefully for fear of waking Eddie, she scoured through the news articles.

Each article dated a few years back and each recorded several toon related police cases, all resolved by Valiant and Valiant Toon Private Eyes. From what Dani read, Eddie and his brother Teddy Valiant seriously loved toons and aspired to help them. Both brothers were master detectives who delved into the most zaniest and dangerous depths of Toontown where no people would dare tread. They had risked everything to solve the crime.

Dani could relate with her yearning to help the public.

The pictures frames depicted Eddie and Teddy in their youth, and some with Eddie's girlfriend Dolores. One picture showed the brothers dressed in dopey clown suits at Barnum & Bailey Circus. Seeing the black and white photograph enticed a giggle out of Dani. They looked plain ridiculous! Overall the pictures showed just how close the Valiant brothers had been.

Again Dani related; her dad used to be the same thing. He'd been her support, her guiding inspiration. She missed him so much.

Reviewing the newsprints, Dani found little evidence about Teddy Valiant's demise. Plus no one at LAPD HQ, nor Eddie had bothered to inform the junior investigator about the fate of Teddy, which was like big secret few wished to discuss.

 _What happened to you, Teddy Valiant?_ _Your brother gave up the case because of you_ , wondered Dani.

On the desk she ran a hand over Teddy's round glasses and his dust choked pipe, mementos of cherished days far gone. Drowsy-eyed, she looked over at Eddie with the faintest of smiles.

"It must eat you up inside, losing someone close..." yawned Dani and clicked the lamp off. She dragged herself over to the cabinet bed where Eddie dozed farts and all. Her head plunked against the warm, musty cushions as slumber eventually claimed Dani Sharpe.

"...I feel your pain."

* * *

Eddie Valiant dreamed about Dolores. He readily puckered his lips. "Come here, baby. I don't bite. Lay one on me."

The sound of shattering glass shattered Eddie's ultimate dream. He woke with a start, flipping up into a sitting position. He regarded the newcomer.

"Lieutenant Santino, where'd you come from?" he asked, scratching his eyes.

Santino was probably the only person from LAPD S HQ Eddie Valiant trusted.

"From downtown as always, where else?" said Santino. The young lieutenant dropped a trashcan filled with broken glass on the floor.

Santino sniffed the air and scrunched his face, repulsed. "Gee whizz Eddie! Would it kill you to crack a window?"

Eddie patted his stomach, reddening. "Sorry, boos and beans were the only things on the menu last night. Hasn't been easy job hunting."

"I saw the mornings paper. The whole damn things plastered with those picture you took," said Santino.

"They print that quick, _huh_? Geeze."

Santino was shaking his head. "Eddie, if you needed money so bad why didn't you come to me?"

"So I took a couple of dirty pictures. Easy job. So kill me." Throwing off the covers, Eddie rolled his bulk out of bed and stretched tired limbs.

"How have you been treating her?" Santino nodded at Dani Sharpe on the floor.

Eddied looked down at her. _I didn't even notice her there._

Surprisingly, the girl still snoozed, clinging to the bedpost like her life depended on it. She was wrapped in thin bed sheets for warmth. Her disheveled hair resembled a rat's nest and her clothing was wrinkled.

Eddie grabbed a new set of clothes and a towel from the dresser. "What is there to say? I only met the girl yesterday and know next to nothing about her besides her attitude towards toons. Why'd the station lump me with a kid?"

"The higher up felt the Toon Investigations Unit needed more members, you being the only one of course. Also R.K. Maroon vouched for getting you a partner, said it was good insurance for business. Sharpe and her fellow interns were prime candidates," Santino explained.

Eddie sighed. "When will you guys learn the meaning of RETIREMENT?"

The lieutenant ignored him. "Considering few hold the Toon Unit in high regard they sent Sharpe to you through Maroon. Being the lone female among the interns, the higher up felt comfortable with the decision."

"Guess they prefer the boys over girls..." Eddie began. "Anyways, what are you doing here, Santino? It's too early if you haven't checked the clock."

Santino was slowly shaking "sleeping beauty" from her slumber. He glanced up at Eddie. " _Oh_ , that."

"Lieutenant Santino. When did you get here?" Dani muttered, half awake now.

The police lieutenant put on a professional persona. "Marvin Acme."

"Yeah what about him?" Eddie demanded.

"The rabbit cacked him last nigh."

An asteroid, the news felt like a crushing blow.

"WHAT?" the partners crowed in unison.

* * *

NOTE: This is my first attempt at a full length fanfic. I've actually been writing an original fantasy series I want to get published (one day!), but after watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit again it got me into wanting to write a fanfic about it.

For Chapter 3 I wanted to take a look at Eddie through the perspective of Dani my OC. We all know Eddie's story but here he's more haunted, I guess. Plus it also seems to help develop Dani more too, and eventually Roger and other characters. Next up I intro Judge Doom and the T-Squad.

Thanks for any support.


	4. Take a dip

Chapter 4: Taking a dip

For a charming third time, Eddie and Dani found themselves back at Maroon Studios. They were thankful enough to avoid visiting the tycoon and were instead bound for the Acme Factory.

A grisly sight awaited the duo inside.

Eddie gazed at the crime scene, shocked. Dani, new to the business, could barely stand the sight and nearly slipped out.

A crime scene was not the greatest thing to wake up to in the morning.

On the factory floor police had drawn a chalk outlining of the victim, Marvin Acme. Ten times a man's weight, an enormous green safe dangled from the rafters inches above the head of the outline—it was the very spot Mr. Acme had met his gruesome end. LAPD and detectives scoured the scene, and in the second floor office Eddie and Dani spotted Jessica Rabbit. The starlet was talking to two officers behind closed doors.

" _Sheesh_ , this would actually be comedic if it weren't the real deal," Eddie said, surveying the the scene.

They walked up to the safe. Dani crouched and inspected the hole where the edge of the safe had cratered poor Acme, crushing his skull and all the life from his body. The very thought of such a demise made Dani shiver from head to toe. What made things worse was she had just met Marvin Acme the previous night. Now the jolly prankster was a flattened prankster.

"Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head," Santino remarked in disgust. "Sorry Eddie, Sharpe. Better wait here, alright?

The lieutenant left them to converse with another on site lieutenant.

"You gonna be alright, Sharpe?" Eddie asked.

The girl, pale-faced, gave a slight nod.

Rather than do their job, some of the detectives and cops were enjoying themselves and playing with various gags throughout the factory floor. They didn't seem to be taking the crime too seriously, something that annoyed Dani as she inspected the safe thoroughly. A few gags included Acme made portable holes, sticks of toon dynamite, and a odd mallet.

One mustached detective wielding the mallet triggered a switch on the handle. A spring loaded boxing glove burst out of the mallet toward Eddie. The old detective ducked with a curse, nearly losing his head like Acme. Everyone except Dani and Santino laughed at his expense.

 _A man was murdered in cold blood, and here we have LA's finest playing with toys,_ Eddie thought. It was no wonder the LAPD wanted to revitalize the Toon Investigations Unit, or TIU. He returned to Dani's side finding her inspecting a yellow substance on the rope anchoring the safe to the rafters overhead.

"You look busy. What's that?" Eddie pointed out.

Dani rubbed the dry, chalky substance between her fingers. "Plain yellow paint," she said. "Roger's gloves are yellow. Is it possible he's involved, Valiant?"

The old detective shrugged, inspecting the safe closely for himself. Who could say? Where was Roger Rabbit now anyways?

Dani heard the sharp tap tap tap of heels on pavement. She turned around, only to come face to face with Jessica Rabbit. Anger flared in Jessica's eyes. Her face glowed as red as her dress and crimson locks.

"Mr. Valiant," she seethed.

Turning at his name, Eddie received an armor piercing slap that echoed throughout the factory like thunder.

Two or three cops whistled and hooted.

"I hope you're proud of yourself, and those pictures you took." Jessica placed her gloved hands on her hips and swiveled on a heel tip.

Instantly, Dani blocked Jessica's exit. Even in those painful looking heels, she and Jessica shared the same height and easily matched eye to eye.

"That was uncalled for, lady," Dani countered.

"He deserved it and you know it. Out of my way, sister." Jessica shoved past Dani, who could do nothing to stop her.

Dani glared daggers at the departing toon woman.

"I'm fine, Sharpe. Let the red harpy go," Eddie said, recovered from the slap.

Nearby two medics wheeled a gurney carrying Marvin Acme's remains into view. Lifting their burden, one of the medics tripped, yelped, and ended up upending a crate. The crate spilled over and released a collection of squeaky toon shoes that immediately scattered to the four points of the compass. Two cops and a detective rushed to carrol the shoes back into confinement.

 _"Aw._ How cute!" Dani couldn't resist gushing.

"Yeah adorable, just trying catching one," snapped Eddie. Something on the ground by the gurney caught his eye—it was Acme's hand buzzer. He bent down to pick it up, but a black cane crushed his hand and set the buzzer off. Eddie reeled back and gazed up at the haunting figure presiding over him like a malicious monolith. Old memories bubbled up inside the old detective, churning his gut worse than any refried beans.

Dead silent, Dani also reflected Eddie's haunted expression.

Darkness attired the ghoulish newcomer in black; black coat, black pants, black tie, black cape, black everything. The only thing white was his undershirt and his pale, unhealthy skin. A round, saucer that was his hat shaded his face. His narrow eyes glared at the partners through thick framed glasses.

The ghoul called over Lieutenant Santino and pointed his cane at Eddie. His voice was scathingly sharp. "Is this man removing evidence from the scene of a crime?"

" _Er_ , no Judge Doom. _Uh_ , Valiant here was just picking it up for ya." Santino nudged the old detective with his foot. "Weren't you Eddie?"

Judge Doom held out his hand for the buzzer. "Give it."

"With pleasure." Eddie summed up his courage and reached up to take Doom's outstretched hand. An instant shockwave rattled the judge to his core. Eddie pulled himself to his feet just as the judge let go.

Doom twisted face softened with a false smile."Quitethe character, aren't you Mr. Valiant? It seems working for a homicidal toon has rubbed off on you."

"Correction," Eddie said. "I wasn't working for a toon. I was working for R. K. Maroon."

"Which rhymes with toon. Easy mistake," Santino added, trying to make light of the situation.

The judge glazed over Santino, focusing primarily on Eddie. "We talked to Mr. Maroon who told us the rabbit became quite the whistling wreck when you showed him the pictures."

"It was Maroon's lame idea. I don't know what advantage that greedy fool hoped to gain," said Eddie.

"The rabbit said one way or another he and his wife were going to be happy. Is that true?"

Eddie was on a role defying Doom. "Hell if I know. Do I look like the rabbit's keeper?"

Santino nudged him again to shut up. The interrogation continued.

"You weren't alone last night either. A certain Miss Daniella Sharpe accompanied you to the Ink and Paint Club. Isn't that right?" Doom confronted Dani, smiling knowingly.

Though visibly shaken, the junior investigator stood her ground.

"She's got nothing to do with this Doom. Leave Sharpe alone," Santino almost pleaded.

" _Ah_ , but I believe she knows much by now. What do you have to say for yourself, Miss Sharpe?" inquired Doom, leaning forward.

Dani tensed and squared her shoulders; she wasn't about to be showed up by this guy. She opened her mouth to protest.

Out of nowhere a black van fishtailed into the factory, cutting off Dani and turning the factory doors into shrapnel. Judged Doom smiled, satisfied as the van screeched to a stop and the doors flew open. Five toon weasels spilled out in a veil of haze and toxins. Cane tapping, Doom stepped away from Sharpe and greeted the weasels.

"I suppose it doesn't matter what Valiant or the girl have to say. The rabbit won't get far," Doom motioned at the weasels. "My men will track him down."

"Weasels?" said Eddie.

"I feel weasels have a natural knack for the job." Doom named off the weasels individually. "May I introduce Smarty, Greasy, Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid."

Smarty, the lead weasel wearing a pink zoot suit, pointed at himself. "Otherwise known as the Toon Patrol!" He turned to Doom. "Sorry Boss, we didn't find the rabbit."

"Hehehehe! All over we looked. No find!" Psycho piped, twisting like a pretzel in a straight jacket.

"Don't worry Judge. We got informants all over the city. We'll find him," said Smarty.

Greasy, a Spanish weasel in a green suit, flicked out a shining stiletto. He pointed the knife at the partners. "So did these perdedors spill the beans?"

Doom sniffed. "Although I smell beans on Mr. Valiant, he and Miss Sharpe, whether involved or not, are saying very little."

"Shame, would be nice to carve up Valiant till he squealed." Greasy's eyes wandered up Dani. Licking his lips, he casually strolled over to her. "This muchacha on the other hand...My knife would love to carve her skin till she cried. _Hehe_ , what do you say to that, Senorita Sharpe?"

Eddie and Santino looked uncomfortable.

How many times did Dani need to feel sickened? The Rabbits' affair and Eddie's farts were more than enough for one day.

"I bet that knife of yours is way too filthy from carving up too much innocent flesh," Dani remarked slyly. "I think I'll pass."

Greasy barred his fangs at her. "You talk now, but wait till—"

"Enough Greasy! We have business to attend to," Doom yelled.

The Spanish weasel obeyed without complaint and trudged back to his brothers and Doom.

 _Squeak! Squeak!_

Everyone looked down at the floor where a red and white toon shoe budded Doom's right leg. It squeaked sweetly at him—the shoe was a bad judge of character. Doom was utterly unphased by the shoe's show of affection. He snapped his fingers at the weasels and pulled on black rubber glove. Bending down, he picked up the shoe, which looked to have second thoughts.

"I'm surprised you're not more cooperative Valiant, Sharpe. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?" the judge accused.

Opening the van's back doors the gray weasel Wheezy and childish Stupid pried open the lid of a steel barrel. A noxious, green vat of liquid bubbled within like a witch's brew.

"Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity. And the only way to do that is to make Toons respect—" the shoe squeaked and Doom shook it, "the law."

The judge brought the shoe over to the bubbling brew.

"How did this gargoyle get to be a judge?" Dani listened as Eddie whispered to Santino.

"Spread a bunch of Semolians around Toontown a couple of years back. Bought the election," Santino replied.

Eddie nodded toward the barrel. "And what's that green crap?"

"A concoction of Doom's own creation. Ingredients: turpentine, acetone, benzene. Aptly named the Dip. It's the only way ever discovered to kill a toon."

Stricken, Eddie gaped, horrified as Judge Doom slowly dipped the shivering shoe into the Dip. Santino looked away and Dani buried her face in her hands, but even so it failed to nullify the squeaked peals of mercy the shoe emitted as the acidic Dip dissolved its body agonizingly slow. After what felt like eternity the shoe's cries died off. Steam billowed from the van in wispy rolls. Doom stepped out of the steam, his glove dripping red from the execution.

Mortified, Dani broke down. A cascade of tears unleashed her agony. Even on a toon, how could a human being exact such latent cruelty?

Eddie threaded his arm around the girl, hugging her close. "You shouldn't have had to see that, Sharpe."

The weasels could only express pure joy.

"He hee hee he hee!" Psycho cackled.

Smarty chuckled and screwed the lid over the Dip. "That's one dead shoe, _huh_ Boss?"

"Indeed Smarty. Indeed," replied Doom calmly. Beneath his cool facade he had relished the kill.

Judge Doom fixed Eddie with an even stare. "They're not kid gloves, for this how we handle things down in Toontown. I'd think you of all people would appreciate that."

* * *

Later after Doom and the Weasals left for Toontown Santino ushered the partners out of Acme Factory. He apologized for inviting them to be witness to an execution.

"That Judge Doom, quite the unpredictable fellow," Santino joked lightheartedly. His laughter met deaf ears.

Santino sighed. "Will you be alright Sharpe? I can drive you back to your apartment downtown."

Dani resolved to accept the lieutenant's offer, but passed. She just needed a walk, and breakfast. "I'll be fine. Just need some alone time. I can't let one little shoe ruin ruin my day," the junior investigator replied. "Valiant, how about you?"

Eddie was already crawling into the front seat of Santino's car. Releasing the latch, he reclined the seat and yanked his fedora over his eyes.

"I'll take up Santino's offer. Drive me back to the office," muttered Eddie. "I've been screamed at, slapped, and met someone I wish I hadn't. Done deal."

"In other words you've had enough and want to crawl into the comfort of retirement," Dani surmised.

The old detective gave her a thumbs up. Soon he was snoozing.

"Guess I'll be off."

Santino nodded. "Take care of yourself, Sharpe."

Dani waved goodbye to Santino, plunged her hands in her pockets, and walked the long mile to nowhere.

Little did she, nor Eddie realize the case was only beginning.

Note: The shoe dip scene was so iconic that I had to flesh it out. Sorry if it's long.

* * *

NOTE: By the next chapter Roger will finally get more spotlight, and a little Herman and Dolores doesn't hurt either. Later chapters will hopefully have more action as things escalate, just like the movie. By then I hope to flesh out Dani's hand to hand prowess and Eddie's return to detective work.


	5. The Hiding Hare

Chapter 5: The Hiding Hare

Cobwebs connected the cabinet in a patchwork of spider webs and dirty dishware. Eddie grabbed a filmy shot glass and washed it thoroughly in the sink. A random, cricket in a tailored suit and top hat clambered out of the glass and jumped onto Eddie's hairy arm. It berated him, shaking a cricket sized umbrella at his face.

The cricket called the shot glass its home, a very comfortable home at that, and now the old detective was flooding its property—really it was Eddie's property first. It began lecturing Eddie about making proper use of his conscience.

"I could be your conscience, Valiant," the cricket offered.

"No."

The cricket flipped out a tiny, white journal. One page Eddie noted simply read 'Thank Namine'. Whatever the heck that meant!

"Why not? I helped this puppet once. Let me tell you a story about—"

"Buzz off." Eddie flicked the pest away.

Still prattling, the cricket sailed out the window and landed in the street. A bus promptly flattened it.

Eddie held the shot glass up to the sunlight; it sparkled clean and clear. He broke open a bottle of boos and poured himself a drink. A buzz radiated through his body as he drank one shot, then helped himself to a second. After the sixth, Eddie began feeling tipsy.

The photos on the desk sobered the old detective.

Eddie dumped aside the patty cake photos and picked up another set of photos. Soul consuming heartache blossomed in his chest.

"I almost forgot these were in the camera too," whispered Eddie, flipping through each photograph of the brothers' and Dolores's last trip to Catalina Island.

He looked across the desk at Teddy's vacant chair; the heartache spewed inside like a volcanic surge. Tears budded at the corner of Eddie's vision. Shaking his head, Eddie wiped his eyes before the waterworks commenced. Looking at the patty cake photos his heartache transformed into revulsion.

Eddie ran a hand over his cheek where Jessica Rabbit had slapped him mercilessly. He slammed the shot glass atop the incriminating photos.

"Wasn't my fault the rabbit got himself in trouble. All I did was take a couple of lousy pictures," he cursed.

As Eddie got up, something beneath the shot glass snagged his interest.

Magnified by the glass was a folded sheet of paper in the pocket of Acme's tacky, plaid jacket. Eddie pulled out a magnifying glass and held the photo up to the light. The black and white print was barely legible, even when magnified. Whatever the document entailed was a mystery, a mystery forgotten and buried with Marvin Acme. Eddie's interest deflated faster than it had inflated. It wasn't his problem.

Tossing the photo, he hauled down his cabinet bed. Why was it suddenly heavier?

" _Ah_ , sweet sweet retirement," he preened, sinking into the softness of the bed. He rolled over in contentment and opened his eyes.

A familiarly fuzzy face with blue eyes stared right back.

Man and rabbit leaped out of bed in a frenzy.

"Roger!"

"Eddie!"

* * *

"Thanks a lot, Valiant." Dani stuffed the overnight parking ticket in her pocket, cursing the old detective.

Upon returning to the apartment from a—much needed—breakfast, Dani discovered a tow truck had towed her car to an impound lot halfway across town. Exhausted from her soiree at the Ink and Paint Club she had parked in a red zone the night before! She had spent much of the morning in a cab getting there only to learn how much it cost to bail a car. Dani barely earned that much in a week!

One day Dani swore to exact her revenge on Eddie Valiant. Of course getting revenge depended on how long the LAPD supported their forced partnership.

On a lighter note, Dani had been able to recover her travel suitcase, which contained all the essentials including a fresh change of clothes.

Dani left the impound office, slamming the door behind her. Outside she was met with a fancily dressed woman with a pram (baby stroller). The woman bent over the pram and gave passerby, mostly men, an alluring eyeful of her short white shorts.

"Pervs," laughed Dani. She checked back with the woman to see her light a cigar and offer it to her baby.

Panicking, Dani rushed at her. "Hey, ma'm! Hey, hey! Wait a minute!"

She shoved the woman aside and realized it was not a really a baby at all, at least not a human baby.

"Baby Herman," she breathed.

"The one and only," Herman replied.

"I've been trying to make him quit, but he just won't listen to me," the woman told Dani.

Baby Herman puffed out a smoke ring. "What do you know you dumb broad? You got the I.Q. of a rattle." He regarded Dani. "You're not Valiant."

Dani pointed at herself. "Obviously not. You were expecting Eddie?"

"I had something to tell him about the Acme murder—Hey doll, why don't you run off and get me a racing form?" Herman rudely smacked his servant's gracious rear.

The woman yelped. "Okay, okay I'm going."

Dani watched her saunter into a liquor store on the street corner. "A lady's man, _eh_?"

"My problem is I've got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky," Herman replied, patting his diaper.

" _Um_ , yeah, not what I needed to know." Dani bit her lip. "So you tracked me down here expecting Valiant because you needed to see him. Talk about a far trip."

Herman blew on his cigar. "Far, but worth it. I learned from Maroon that Valiant was involved in the Acme murder, and I'm aware of some vital facts Valiant could find useful."

"I went to his office earlier, but he was out. Next thing I hear Variant gets his car jacked. I assumed he chased after it, so I pursued."

 _Herman sure learned a lot in just a few hours_ , Dani thought. Not to mention news traveled fast in Hollywood.

"More like my car got stolen," she corrected.

"Oh really? That's sucks," Herman exhaled. "Who are you to Valiant?"

Dani coughed on the cigar vapors. "I'm Valiant's partner— _ack_ —Dani Sharpe, so whatever you have to tell, I'll pass on to Valiant. _Ack_!"

" _Hmmm,_ " Herman considered.

Was she really going through with this? Taking a critical tip from a toon concerning murder sounded ludicrous. Herman could be pulling her leg for all she knew. On the flip side Herman was probably considering his trust in Dani. Could he trust Valiant's supposed "partner"? Baby and girl were mirror images of each other when it came to trust.

Baby Herman relented, clearing his throat. "Alright, I'll tell ya...The rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer. I should know. He's a dear friend of mine. I tell you, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers! Look at this."

He dug under his blanket and produced a newspaper for Dani. "This paper says Acme left no will. That's a load of succotash. Every toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Tonntown to us toons. That will is the reason he got bumped off!"

Dani read the paper, brow furrowed. Herman was not lying after all. "Has anybody ever seen this will?" she asked.

"Well _ah_ , no. But he gave us his solemn oath. Swear it," the toon baby said.

Dani recalled the unfortunate prankster the night prior spraying Eddie with disappearing ink and catching her off guard with a hand buzzer. Marvin Acme didn't seem like the type of person who had ever taken life seriously. Every moment meant another opportunity for a quick gag and an earned laugh. Something as important as will was the last thing Acme likely ever considered doing.

"If you believe that that joker could do anything solid, then the gags on you pal!" said Dani.

Herman tapped ash off his cigar, shrugging his shoulders. "I just figured since you're partner was the one who got my pal in trouble you might want to help get him out."

He grinned snidely. "I can pay ya handsomely, doll."

It was always about money and attention with some people. Herman hoped that if he played his cards right then he could wrest control and take advantage of the murder. Like Maroon, Herman most likely wanted to elevate his status. Plus he wanted Dani to work for him like another servant.

A toon rabbit was dealing with a trashy wife and a man had been murdered. No one cared enough except to poke fun at the case, or to direct it in their favor. No one wanted to solve the case of Roger Rabbit!

Dani was done with this crap. "Sorry, but I'm not in this for profit, or to gain stardom. I'm a detective first." She unlocked the brakes of Herman's pram. "Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!"

With all her might the junior investigator pushed and sent the pram rolling down the sidewalk.

"Hey, no! Sharpe, don't! I was only kidding!" Herman screamed.

Too late, the pram collided with the servant woman, who was on her way out of the liquor store with a stack of racing forms and extra cigars. Falling on flat on her face, she dropped everything. Herman's cigar flew out his mouth and rolled into a muddy gutter.

"My stoogie! Waaaaaggghhh!" the toon baby bawled ridiculously.

"And don't ever call me doll!" Dani yelled and continued on.

After a while her joy evaporated. She reread the article about Acme's will that was said to exist and actually considered Herman's words. Her mind fizzled with possible motives, schemes, and ideas.

The Rabbits' love affair, Acme's murder, and now the mystery of a missing will could not be coincidence. A smooth succession of events had played out too perfectly and the prime suspect, Roger Rabbit, failed to fit the mold of a scorned lover turned cold murderer. Roger Rabbit was a loon at times, but a genuinely loyal and honest loon you could call friend. Something just didn't add up.

They needed to uncover the real truth and solve this case. They needed to find Roger.

Stuffing the newspaper in her blazer, Dani hefted up her suitcase and ran at breakneck speed. The investigator had little time to spare before the hour of doom tolled and closed the case for good.

* * *

"How the hell did you get in here?"

Eddie and Roger circled each other like two combatants in a ring. One combatant was old and chunky, the other loony and toony.

The rabbit rattled fearfully. "Through the mail slot. I thought it would be best if I waited inside, seeing how I'm wanted for murder."

"No kidding! Just talking to you could get me a rap for aiding a—Wait a minute. Anybody know you're here?"

"Nobody," Roger swore, "not a soul. Except _er_..."

"Who?" Eddie demanded, drawing nearer.

"Well you see, I didn't know where you're address was." Roger began pointing in different directions as he chronicled his travels. "So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the greengrocer, the butcher, the baker. They didn't know! But some guy at a liquor store. He knew you!"

"In other words all of Hollywood knows!" Eddie lunged and grabbed Roger by the suspenders of his red overalls. He hauled Roger to the door. The toon felt surprisingly light and flimsy in his hands.

Latching on to the door frame, Roger resisted. "Hey Eddie, take it easy will _ya_. Please Eddie, don't throw me out. You're making a big mistake. I didn't kill anybody. I swear. This whole thing's a set up. A scam. A frame job! _Ow_! Eddie. I could never hurt anybody. _Ow_!"

"This should work!" Eddie proclaimed. He began tugging on Roger's pant legs, his muscles tensing against the gummy elasticity of the toon's body.

Roger kept pleading, " _Ow_! My whole purpose in life is to maaake, peeeeopllllle, laugh!"

The rabbit's plea echoed as he zinged out the office door like a slingshot. Eddie landed in a heap on the floor. He struggled getting up so he could slam the door closed. Before he knew it Roger had ricocheted off a wall, bounced back into the office, and landed on the bed gymnast style.

Eddie lunged at the bed, only for Roger to evade him with a well timed hop.

Roger faced Eddie anew. "Sure, I admit it. I got a little steamed when you showed me those pictures of Jessica. So after crying a river I ran to the Ink and Paint Club— _Ow_!"

The old detective yanked up Roger by his ears and deposited him on the floor. He had given up trying to get rid of the toon—it was physically impossible.

"Don't do that!" Roger yelled.

Eddie mopped sweat from his face. He decided he might as well listen. "Keep talking."

"Well as I said I went back to the club, but Jessica wasn't there. So then I wrote her a love letter and then I—"

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Eddie raised his hands for pause. "You're telling me, that in a fit of jealousy you wrote you're wife a love letter?"

Roger nodded. "That's right! I figured Jessica is just an innocent victim of circumstance."

Eddie had to smirk. Who knew a toon could think that logically about love? "I suppose you used the old lipstick on the mirror routine, _huh_?"

"Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no. I found a nice clean piece of paper to write on." Roger unfolded a sheet of paper from his overalls. He began to read it, hopping up and down like a lunatic. "Dearest Jessica. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one thousand! Two one thousand! Three one thousand! Four one thousand..."

At that point Dani appeared in the doorway sweating and out of breath. "Eddie ,we need to talk—Roger!" she panted upon seeing the rabbit.

"Ten one thousand— _Oh_ hey Dani! What's up?" Roger greeted her. He hopped over and happily shook the girls hands. "It's felt like ages since we last talked!"

Dani smiled. "Good to see you too, Roger."

Eddie waved. "Welcome back Sharpe."

"Valiant, what's going on? What's Roger doing here?"

Heaving a groan, Eddie explained the situation to Dani as Roger prattled on incessantly.

"I see..." the girl trailed. "Roger, why didn't you just leave the love letter in Jessica's dressing room?"

Roger patted the letter affectionately. "Obviously a poem of this power and sensitivity must be read in person so I went home to wait for her, but then the, but then the..."

"Keep going," Dani chided.

The rabbit seemed comforted by her confidence in him. "Okay, so I got home but...the weasels were there waiting for me! So I. So I ran."

"I guess Judge Doom is hell bent on finding you, Roger," said Eddie. "But why come to me? I'm the guy that took the pictures of your wife!"

Roger grinned a buck tooth grin and strode over to Eddie's desk. He rifled through all of the old newspaper clippings heralding the past cases the brothers had solved. He began looking at Teddy's belongings.

"Of course. Why not? Eddie, you're also the guy that helped all these toons. Everybody knows when a toon's in trouble there's only one place to go. Valiant and Valiant!"

Eddie's eyes narrowed. "Not anymore...Get out of that chair!"

Chastised, the rabbit stepped away from Teddy's dusty office chair.

"It was his brother's chair, Roger," Dani explained to the perplexed rabbit.

"Say, where is his brother anyways?" Roger plucked up and picked up a picture frame of a younger Teddy Valiant. "He looks like a sensitive and, sober fellow compared to Eddie."

Obviously the knowledge of Teddy's passing hadn't spread like most news and gossip in Hollywood. A lot of people never realized Teddy Valiant was deceased. Even fewer such as Dani and Roger were unaware of how Teddy died.

Eddie went for the phone. "Enough of this. I'm phoning the cops."

"Just wait a second!" Dani protested. "There's something you need to know."

"Fine, Eddie! Call the cops! I come here for help and what do you do? You turn me in. No don't. Don't feel guilty about me," Roger droned dramatically. He bowed, his tall ears whipping about. "So long and thanks for nothing."

Roger walked through a door and slammed it shut. Piles of papers on a drawer toppled in the wake of his dramatic exit.

"There doesn't happen to be a trap door in there?" Dani asked.

"Nope," Eddie answered. "Just a closet. Let the stupid rabbit play act!"

With Roger out of the scene, Dani pulled out the newspaper she received from Baby Herman and showed Eddie. She spilled everything she had learned from Herman, and everything else she suspected.

"You think Roger was framed, and that we were compromised?" Eddie inquired after reading about the will.

Dani nodded. "Roger doesn't fill the mold of a killer when you look at him."

"No he doesn't," agreed Eddie. "A clown yes, but no murderer. Here, look at this patty cake photo."

Dani turned green. "Do I have too?"

She looked anyways and Eddie held a magnifying glass over a portion of the picture circled in red ink. Within the circle was a piece of paper in Marvin Acme's coat pocket. It could only be one thing.

"So the will does exist. Herman was right," said Dani. _And I knocked him over for it. Guess I should apologize._

"It exists, but why should I care?" said Eddie gravely.

"Oh come on, Valiant! You can't tell me your not the least bit curious." Dani pinched the old detective's arm; he swatted her hand away.

"You can't say you're retired again. Roger needs our help. He risked getting dipped just to see you in person!" she implored.

Eddie crossed his arms, a defiant manchild. "Drop it."

"Eddie, please," she pleaded.

"No"

"Please."

Eddie grabbed the girl by the shoulders and shook her back and forth. "I said drop it, Sharpe! I can't solve another case, not alone...Not without Teddy."

Dejected, Eddie released Dani and slumped against the desk like a fat toad on a rock. He breathed shallowly, trying to get a grip on his frustration and sorrow. Eddie couldn't bare the ashamed expression he imagined on the girl's face, so he looked away from her.

Nothing could be further from the truth staring back at him.

Unashamed, Dani laced her soft fingers through his gnarled ones and squeezed. "That's why I'm here," she said, "to fill that void that's been eating you up. We are partners."

Eddie's mouth hung agape; she was more than right. "What do you want from me?"

Dani pulled away. "I want you to put on your fedora and start solving this case, Mr. Valiant."

Slowly Eddie straightened, a new found calm befalling him. "I guess I could use your help. Good thing Maroon paired us up," he said. "And besides we're stuck with Roger now, so we might as well help the screwy rabbit."

"Now that's what I wanted to hear," Dani laughed.

The partners opened the closet to get Roger; the rabbit was nowhere to be found. Together they checked inside and heard a sharp click as something cold and metallic clamped over their wrists. Roger appeared, dressed in one of Eddie's trench coats and a fedora.

Two pairs of silver handcuffs extended from Roger's wrists to their own.

"Eddie Valiant! Daniella Sharpe. You're under arrest. Plplplplplll!" Roger uttered gruffly, imitating a police siren.

Eddie yanked Roger from the closet. "Idiot!" he cried. "I've got no keys for these cuffs!"

Roger reddened. "Really? _Oops."_

Outside the sound of a real siren screamed. Tires screeched to a halt. They peered out the window at a familiar black van and at five very obnoxious, very dangerous weasel brothers. On cue, Roger freaked out as his eyes and brain exploded out of his head. His heart thumped visibly through his overalls.

"It's the Toon Patrol! They found me!" The toon rabbit swan dived into a drawer, dragging Eddie and Dani along with him. "Hide me, plplplease!"

Five hard knocks pounded against the office door.

"Don't make us wait up, Valiant. We just want the rabbit," came Smarty's nasally voice.

On the other side of the door Greasy drooled. "We also wanted to say hello to that spicy puta of yours too. _Haha._ "

"Come on. Open the door, or else," Smarty threatened and pounded on the door again.

Eddie and Dani pulled Roger out of the drawer.

"What do we do?" Dani hissed through clenched teeth.

But the detective was already moving.

From the closet Eddie pulled out a heavy trench coat and two hats—a fedora for himself and a woman's flowered sunhat. He guided Roger and Dani out the bathroom window. Handcuffed, the trio maneuvered down a fire escape to an alleyway below. Back up the fire escape they heard the buzz of a machine gun as the weasels forced their way in. Finding an empty office, the Toon Patrol fanned out and began ransacking.

"We can't be seen with Roger publicly," Eddie said, hidden from view. He threw the coat around Dani, buttoned it up, then plopped the sunhat on her head. The coat completely swamped her.

"Were you ever pregnant, Sharpe?"

"N-No. I'm only twenty, if you haven't noticed. It'll be a while before I consider something of that magnitude." The girl blushed. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. We don't have far to go." Eddie stared across the street, then he picked up Roger by the ears.

" _OOOW_! Eddie!" the rabbit yelled. "What are you doing?"

"Hold your breath, Roger."

Hoisting up Roger, Eddie plunged the startled rabbit down Dani's tent sized coat.


	6. Hiding the Hare

Chapter 6: Hiding the Hare

A mile of lead piping laced the ceiling overhead, sluicing gallons of green Dip. The rivers of Dip poured into one giant, iron cauldron that bubbled and popped with acidic juices. The cauldron was bolted atop a rusted out LA street sweeper, which Doom had bought from the city with money from his company Cloverleaf. Around the sweeper a haphazard array of machine parts lay disassembled in crates.

Until the cauldron filled to capacity construction had ceased.

Droplets of Dip fell like rainfall from leaky pipes and pooled on the warehouse floor. Smarty and Greasy alone navigated the Dipfall and bubbling puddles on their way to meet Doom, who waited on a catwalk above. They reached a staircase when a drop of Dip plopped on Smarty's jacket, sizzling as it dissolved through pink paint.

"Ah man, not my zoot suit," Smarty snapped.

Greasy smacked his face. "Forget about your stupid suit, tonto! You can draw another one!"

"But this one was especially drawn by the Boss!"

Greasy flicked out his stiletto. "We're already late."

Smarty backed off. "Alright. Alright."

They darted up the stairway to the catwalks encircling the warehouse.

Standing on a catwalk overlooking production, Judge Doom surveyed his creation lovingly like his own child, his _Doombringer._ Much of Doom's face was shaded from the factory lights by another overhanging catwalk higher up.

Neither weasel required any light to know Doom was fixing his face again.

They bowed, flourishing off their hats respectfully.

"You called us Overlord Doom?" Greasy exaggerated.

Doom remained fixated on the _Doombringer._ "Well? Where are they?"

"Valiant and Sharpe flew the coop Boss," said Smarty. "We ripped apart the office and found no trace of either."

"We suspect they're shepherding that annoying conejo around," Greasy added.

Smarty barred needle thin teeth. "Every time we get close to the rabbit he slips away."

"I have doubt in the slightest that Mr. Valiant and...Miss Sharpe are in cahoots with the rabbit," said Doom. "If we don't act fast, then the one obstacle in my way will totally derail the plans. That will must be found and destroyed."

"Then what do you suggest, Boss?" Smarty asked.

Judge Doom made no reply.

A wooden case of glass ampoules sat open on a chair next to Doom. The ampoules contained a clear, unknown liquid. Another row of vials lined the top of the case, and each was clearly labeled with a name and contained shreds of human hair.

Greasy observed that one vial of human hair had been labeled "Sharpe". Coincidence? The Spanish weasel didn't think so.

Cracking open an ampoule, the judge then took a vial labeled "Doom" and sprinkled strings of gray hair into the liquid. Doom squeezed his nose and downed the contents. Discarding the ampoule, Doom cringed and grabbed his face in pain. He thrashed the catwalk railing as the potion flowed through his blood stream.

After about two minutes the pain subsided and the judge relaxed. He checked his appearance in a hand held mirror, then turned his attention back on Smarty and Greasy.

"Continue keeping tabs on Valiant and his partner, don't let them out of your sight," Doom ordered. "If fortune shines our way, then the two will slip up and reveal the rabbit to us."

"Or the rabbit could slip," said Smarty.

"Yes, that would do too." Doom waved off the henchmen. "Now get out of my sight."

Smarty and Greasy made their leave until Doom called upon the latter.

"Greasy," the judge called.

Greasy turned back.

Doom tapped his foot. "Avoid trying to kill Sharpe. She's...important to the cause."

"Aye aye, boss man," the weasel saluted.

"And Greasy?"

"Yesssss?" Greasy drawled. The judge was starting to sound like a doting mother.

Doom glowered at the weasel. "Don't even try to lay a finger on her, or you'll be sorry."

* * *

Bundled like a nesting doll, Roger squirmed under Dani's trench coat, gagging for air. "Can't breath! Are we there yet?!"

"Roger hold still. You're gonna get us caught," said Dani, patting the rabbit through the coat.

A stray white ear slithered out of coat's left pocket. She hastily stuffed Roger's ear back in.

"As if we don't look conspicuous enough with you yelling at your belly," Eddie murmured. His cuffed arm was looped around Dani's cuffed arm while both their arms were cuffed to Roger's two arms.

In the public eye the partners appeared as an oddly married couple of differing age who were also expecting a child soon. For them the whole scene was beyond awkward. Still, they supposed pretending to be engaged was better than being apprehended by the Toon Patrol at gunpoint.

"We're here," Eddie announced.

Terminal Station Bar, a dusty building worn down by time and smog, served as the main hub for the Los Angeles Red Car. Things had changed though in the past few weeks a new company called Cloverleaf gained control of the Red Car trolley system. Already a fanciful, green sign displaying the Cloverleaf name hung over the original station marquee.

Cloverleaf represented the changing times in LA, but the company was nothing more than a blight on the city's transportation system and those who operated the trolleys.

Eddie tugged Dani up a set of stairs and into a musty bar. A gaggle of working men from around the city congregated within the bar's musty confines. One or two men—they looked liked trolley conductors—hung collapsed over the bar counter after having drunk their sorrows away.

Upon entering a few patrons greeted Eddie, a regular face at the bar. Some winked their way, asking the detective to introduce his lovely lady friend heavy with a rabbit.

Dani pulled her sunhat over her eyes, hoping to discourage onlookers.

"Dolores! Dolores! DOLORES!" Eddie shouted at the top of his lungs.

"No need to shout, Eddie. I heard you loud and clear the first time."

A waitress—the only one—serving coffee came over to meet them. She looked to be around Eddie's age. Tall and slender, the waitress wore a plain dress and apron. She had tightly bound her brown hair in a bun.

Roger's head suddenly burst out of the trench coat, gasping for air. Dani crammed the rabbit's head back inside, blushing all the while.

Dolores fixed them with a withering stare.

"So tell me Eddie. Is that a rabbit in her coat, or are you suddenly into younger women and wanted a child badly?" the waitress said dryly.

"Cut the comedy, Dolores. A lot happened." Eddie withdrew his cuffed wrist for her to see. "First we've gotta get these things off. I'll explain everything soon."

Dolores smirked. "Yes, Eddie. Please do."

Turning on her heel, the waitress led Eddie and Dani out of the bar. They passed through a hidden door doubling as a wall that swung around on a pivot. A single wired lamp hanging from the ceiling dimly lit the cluttered room beyond.

Dolores swung the wall shut behind them.

Safe from prying eyes, Dani discarded the concealing trench coat and sunhat and released Roger from captivity.

"That was embarrassing," the girl breathed.

Roger, none the worse for ware, leaped out excitedly and dragged Eddie and Dani along with him."Jeepers, Eddie! You nearly suffocated me!"

"And you nearly blew our cover hacking and squirming around so much," Eddie countered. "It'd take a lot more than suffocation to kill one of you toons."

"Say, what is this? Some kind of a secret headquarters for detectives?"

"Far from it. It's a rough gut room. A hold over for probation?" muttered Dolores.

Roger bounced around excitedly, his hands questing over anything within arm's reach. " _Oh_ , I get it. A speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlor."

"The tools are up here Eddie." Dolores indicated a shelf. The waitress leaned against a wall, trying to visually discern the situation. Her gaze shifted between the toon and the partners until it fixed on Dani.

"I certainly hope sweet young women aren't what you're into, Eddie." Dolores murmured.

A handsaw in hand, Eddie squatted in front of a crate and set to work sawing off the handcuffs that Roger had generously clamped on their arms. Dani and Roger squatted down beside the detective as he worked.

"It's not what you think," Eddie grunted between saws. "This is my new partner, Dani Sharpe."

"Nice to finally meet you, Dolores." Free of the cuffs Dani rubbed her wrist. She and the waitress's shook hands.

"Same to you, Miss Sharpe."

The girl smiled mischievously and drew closer.

"Just so you know, Dolores, Eddie has wet dreams about you," she whispered.

"Ah shut it, Sharpe!" Eddie cried, but the let the matter drop. He motioned to the toon rabbit. "Whatever. You probably know Roger."

"Boy do I. My sister's children are big fans of his. Won't ever stop talking about how hilarious Roger Rabbit is," Dolores said.

Roger brightened and bounced up on his tip toes. "They really said that? And here I thought I was losing my fanbase," he said. "Tell your niece and nephew Roger Rabbit sends his regards. Hopefully I can meet them one day!"

"Hold still will ya?" Eddie struggled to keep the crate steady as he worked on sawing their handcuffs.

The women gaped, astonished as Roger slipped his hand free of his cuff like it was nothing.

Roger steadied the swaying crate. "Does this help?"

"Yeah. Thanks..." Eddie slammed down the handsaw, glaring at Roger hatefully. "Do you mean to tell me you could have taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?

"No! Not at any time. Only when it was funny! Plplplplpl!" In a single bound Roger flew across the room and landed in a revolving chair. "Come on Eddie! Where's your sense of humor? Don't tell me you've lost it during retirement?"

"He's got you there, Valiant," Dani chuckled. "In fact, I think we all need some humor if we're going up against toons."

"If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead." Roger nodded satisfactorily. "That's my philosophy anyways."

Unamused in the slightest, Eddie hung his head disdainfully and resumed sawing. His cuff soon fell off with a snap.

"And here I thought your detective days were over," Dolores said. "Have a change of heart? Or do you love young women and fugitive rabbits?"

Eddie massaged his wrist. "Lay off Dolores."

The detective began explaining all that had transpired in the past day to the waitress. He then turned back to Roger, who was busy spinning around in the chair like it was a teacup ride. The rabbit grew bored and dizzy, then picked up a rusty file.

"I think Maroon played the part of sound mind and your wife the sound body," said Eddie.

"In other words both were being used by a higher power," Dani remarked.

Dolores folded her arms. "What are you getting at, Eddie?"

"I don't think whoever planned all this got to the will."

"But how do you know?"

Dani pounded a fist in her hand. "I get it! Because they were still looking for the will even after Acme was killed!"

"Exactly," Eddie conferred. "The will is still floating around out there somewhere. As for the mastermind behind this mess, I suspect it's the guy who set us up in the first place."

"Maroon? Really?" Dani asked.

Roger began sliding the file through his ears, enjoying the sensation against his brain. "Let me get this straight! You think my boss, R.K. Maroon dropped a safe on Marvin Acme's head so he could get his hands on Toontown?"

Eddie shrugged. "In a sense, but I can't imagine why."

"Probably just another scheme of Maroon to fill his already full pockets to bursting," Dani sneered. "No doubt about it. Maroon stank of cheap cologne and treachery from the start."

R.K. Maroon represented their prime suspect so far, but who knew who else was involved and why.

Next the detective nearly begged Dolores. "Dolores, if it's not too much to ask...I know what you may think, but I have a hunch that Roger is innocent and his wife and Acme were just pawns in a greater scheme like him."

"If he could hide out here for a while—"

Dolores cut Eddie off as she crouched and pressed her lips against his. Dani and Roger smiled at the sweet sight.

"You know I'd do anything for you, Eddie," said Dolores. "Do what you need to do, and get back safe."

"Will do." Eddie adjusted his fedora and headed for the door.

"You need me to do anything, Valiant?" Dani asked following.

Eddie swung open the wall. "You could check probate. Scope what's been going on behind the scenes with Acme and the studio." He sighed. "It's a start."

Roger jumped down from his chair, flinging the file. "Good idea, Eddie! Check the probate! Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with his probate and he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water!"

They gazed at the toon rabbit hollowly.

"Not prostate you idiot! Probate." Eddie shook his head and stepped out. "Toons."

"Where will you go?" Dolores asked him.

"Back to the office," said Eddie. "I have to see what the weasels did."

"Watch your back. The Toon Patrol is crawling all over the place," Dani warned.

Eddie headed across the bar, waving to some of the people who knew him. "Thanks for the concern, Sharpe," he called back, vanishing through the stairwell.

Dani hung back with Dolores as the detective left for his office. She needed to ask Dolores about Eddie Valiant. Since yesterday the detective's past had mystified her as bad as a food craving. If she and Eddie were supposed to work together, then she needed to understand her partner more.

"Dolores. You've known Eddie for a long time?" Dani asked.

The question came as no surprise to the waitress. "A long time. You want to know about Eddie's past?"

"Not all of it," Dani reiterated, "just what drove him to quit detective work and about Teddy."

Dolores motioned at the bar. "Want a drink?"

"One more year, not that I could ever stomach boos."

" _Haha_ I see."

"So what happened to Teddy? I know he died, but Eddie doesn't like talking about it," said Dani.

The waitress sighed long and hard, wanting more than ever to forget the memory. "Eddie hasn't stepped foot in Toontown since Teddy was killed by a toon. He took his brother's loss hard and ended up quitting the business entirely."

Dani's eyes widened. She had not expected this. "A toon killed Eddie's brother Who? How?"

"Who killed Teddy remains a mystery. As for how..." Dolores stepped forward, shuddering. Her tears began to fall. "The toon dropped a piano on his head."

 _Ouch!_ "Sorry to hear that. I can understand Eddie's pain because I lost someone once too," Dani said, thinking of her dad.

Lately it felt like a lot of people were getting their heads crushed by heavy objects.

Dani bade Dolores farewell and turned to leave. The waitress clasped her hand tightly.

"You be careful out there too, Dani. This town, and Toontown, aren't always the best places for a young woman to wander alone."

With her foot Dani tapped the knife hidden in her boot and winked. "Don't worry, I've had training. I'll make it through this alive."

She ran out of the bar, eager to get started on the case. She saluted to the waitress. "Take care of Roger! See you later, Dolores!"

* * *

As Dani Sharpe departed, the waitress returned a salute, then dropped her arm lankly at her side.

Dolores returned to work and her customer, pretending as if a toon rabbit wasn't hidden behind closed doors.

In truth, Dolores felt Dani was more than capable of taking on this case. She harbored supreme confidence in the junior investigator; on the other hand, she had reservations towards Eddie. Stress, depression, and insatiable alcoholism had aged the worn detective. He was out of shape and out of practice. And without Teddy as support...She just hoped Dani Sharpe would be there for Eddie.

Dolores prayed Eddie Valiant's new found willpower lasted.

* * *

NOTE: Sometimes I feel these chapters have too much talk. But I guess it comes with building up the plot, and the movie is like that anyways. No real ACTION actually occurred until the bar fight scene and the Benny chase scene (which I will include). I want action now! Next up is more weasals, Jessica, and the chapter after that a bar fight (finally).


	7. Jessica Laments

Chapter 7: Jessica Laments

"Wrong. We were absolutely wrong."

Passing up a Red Car, Dani Sharpe decided to go afoot. She needed time, time enough to mull over her thoughts and decipher what she discovered.

After checking probate, the junior investigator had beat a hasty retreat. The LA Business Center, one of the city's main hubs for public records, had likely been crawling with their enemy's cronies. Public domains represented one of the worst places a detective could skulk around. Looking for clues discreetly was one thing, conducting suspicious research in the public eye was another.

However dangerous the risk was of being spotted, the information Dani had found meant another step toward solving who had framed Roger. Unfortunately, nothing Dani uncovered made any sense. She hoped Eddie, or someone knowledgeable, might know more.

For now all she was concerned about was ferrying her research to Eddie before the detective attempted anything drastic.

In the center of automobile traffic another Pacific Electric Red Car rolled by. The trolley's windows were boarded up with planking and carried no passengers other than a stone-faced engineer and a conductor who glowered guardedly at pedestrians as the trolley rolled through traffic.

Ever since Cloverleaf bought out Pacific Electric boarded trolleys had become a common sight. They rarely picked up passengers anymore and looked more like ominous freight trains nowadays.

Judging by the direction the trolley was headed, Dani suspected it had come from LA's shipping district and was now bound for the Pacific Electric Warehouse where all the trolleys received routine maintenance.

 _What is going on in this city?_ "Or perhaps Maroon is involved, just not the way we thought," she spoke aloud. "But who would back that tycoon—"

Passing a darkened alley on her left, Dani caught a glint of silver piercing the air. Angling her body, Dani dodged around the knife and let it sail past her. She steadied her footing, regaining balance. She whipped around and grabbed the arm of the knife wielder in a crushing grip. In one fluid motion she yanked her foe into the sunlight

Dani faced her adversary, arms raised defensively. Her face fell; not this guy.

"Incredible!" Greasy slurred. "Muy sexo. You can rough me up any day! You and Jessica Rabbit both."

The girl stuck out her tongue. "Only in your fantasies, Greaseball."

"The Boss told you not to touch her, Greasy," came Smarty's voice from the alley.

Smarty strode out of the alley followed by Psycho squirming like an eel on crack. The former weasel pointed a revolver at Dani whilst sipping a large cup of berry smoothie.

"My knife would have graced her skin, not my fingers," Greasy clarified, flicking his stiletto closed. He gazed up at Dani. "I only wanted to test her reflexes."

Held at gunpoint, Dani was virtually stuck under the Toon Patrol's mercy.

"Alright, Sharpe. Time to fess up," Smarty sneered.

"Fess up to what?" she asked.

"The rabbit. We were tipped off that the hairball's been seen hanging with you and Valiant. Neighbors swore they heard a ruckus through the walls at Valiant's apartment complex, so we investigated."

 _Roger needs to learn discretion._ Dani feigned ignorance. "You visited Eddie's office?"

"Yeah, around two o'clock, though no one was home," said Greasy.

Dani played her part innocently. "Two o'clock? We were getting a bite to eat around then.

Sorry you missed us."

Psycho hopped and skipped, swaying his arms. "She lying. LIES LIES LIES LIES!" he cried shrilly.

Smarty fired a shot at Psycho's feet.

The bullet blew a hole in Psycho's right foot and it deflated like a tire with a drawn out hiss. Psycho's mad dash slowed as he collapsed in a cackling heap.

Smarty blew out the smoke trailing from the gun barrel.

"Numskull. We don't need to attract more attention to ourselves. We should have brought Wheezy along instead." The lead weasel sipped his smoothie.

Dani stepped forward an inch. "Well like I said. We were out, me and Eddie. Did you really think we'd be dumb enough to cart around a wanted felon? Heck no."

Smarty and Greasy blocked her escape. "Not so fast, we're not done with you."

What did these buffoons want now!

"Judge Doom wants to see you," said Smarty, his tone serious and flat. "For some reason he's taken an interest in you, Sharpe."

Psycho wormed around his brother's legs. " _Hehe._ Boss man has plans too. Plans! _Hehehe_!"

"Get off! You'll make me spill my smoothie!" Smarty cried, rolling Psycho into the gutter.

Dani stood frozen. An visage of the haggard ghoul flashed at the forefront of her subconscious. She recalled earlier that morning when Judge Doom had confronted her about Roger's whereabouts and information pertaining to Acme's demise. Now Doom personally wanted to see her? What was going on? Dani could not fathom being alone with a ghoul like him.

Greasy inched closer to Dani. The weasel himself recalled the glass vial with her last named inked on it.

"Si muchacha," the Spanish weasel confirmed. "The Boss wishes to meet with you."

"Why?" Dani shuddered.

Smarty waved his revolver. "Beats me. Doom barely tells us anything, or pays us properly."

Greasy folded Dani's hands in his. "Reconsider who you work for, muchacha. Join our side of the law." He started drooling on her boots. "I swear it's more fun with me—I mean us."

As his name implied, the Greasy's hands felt slimy, cold. Dani recoiled from the grease trap. "Doom's idea of justice is misguided. Don't think I forgot what he did to that poor shoe," she swore. "I'd never join a troupe of executioners."

Dani kicked Greasy in the shin hard. She bowled over the perverted weasel who howled painfully in Spanish and hugged his crushed left leg. She stopped when Smarty aimed his revolver at her stomach.

"Not so fast girly," Smarty threatened, cocking the weapon.

An idea sparked to life in Dani's head. She pointed at Smarty's chest. "Hey what's that?"

"Where?" Dropping his guard, Smarty checked himself.

"Coming at you."

Dani smacked his other hand that held the fruit smoothie. Smoothie juice splashed all over Smarty, drenching him from nose tip to tail. The weasel panicked as the sticky, purple juices soaked into his wardrobe.

"No! My zoot suit! It's ruined! _Oh_ God, please, not my zoot suit. Say it isn't so!" Smarty dropped the gun and began dabbing as his gaudy suit with a napkin.

On the ground Greasy kept howling and hugging his leg, which by now had swelled to the size of a squash.

With the Toon Patrol incapacitated Dani darted for freedom.

Psycho rolled in the gutter, laughing manically at his brothers' misfortune. He waved Dani off. "See girly soon. _Hehehe_!"

* * *

"Mr. Valiant. Mr. Valiant?" came a sultry voice.

Flushing the toilet, Eddie Valiant checked the front door cautiously. At first he thought Sharpe was back from her foray to the LA Business Center. The exaggerated, curvy silhouette reflected through the door's translucent glass spoke otherwise.

Eddie unlocked the door, allowing Jessica Rabbit inside.

Around the pair the office was a total mess after the Toon Patrol had ripped it apart.

"What brings you here?" said Eddie. He could feel his cheek where she had slapped him heating up.

Jessica jutted a hip. "Where else can a toon seek help with a case other than Valiant and Valiant. LAPD would merely have laughed in my face."

"More like just Valiant these days," Eddie said. Now that he was back in the business the detective eventually needed a new title.

"At first I had reservations about coming here considering you were retired," said Jessica

Shirtless and hairy, Eddie tugged on a clean long sleeved shirt from the closet. Reaching into a briefcase Eddie slipped a derringer into his pocket. He refused relaxing around with this conniving temptress. He could easily end up like Marvin Acme if he wasn't careful.

"Well, circumstances pulled me back into the limelight, circumstances kicked off by your sexual escapades," Eddie accused.

Second to R.K. Maroon, Jessica filled the role of a possible second culprit perfectly. Suspicion surrounded the toon temptress like a heavy fog. No one ever knew what she was up to and why. Eddie had long suspected Jessica was after Roger's immense film fortune, something most backstabbing wives lusted after during homicidal love affairs.

Jessica shook her head. "You've got the wrong idea about me, Mr. Valiant. I'm a pawn in this just like Roger. Can you help me find him? Just name your price, and I'll pay it."

"I figured as much. You'll pay any price, no doubt about it," said Eddie. "You need the rabbit to make this scam work."

"No no no. I love my husband. You've got me all wrong." One curvaceous leg slipped into view from the slit of Jessica's dress. "You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do."

Eddie couldn't help but stare while keeping a firm grip on the derringer. "Yeah, well, you don't know how hard it is being a man," he gulped, "looking at a woman looking the way you do."

Jessica thrust out her chest and butt, striking an appealing pose. "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."

Close to drooling, Eddie slapped himself silly. _Focus!_ "But weren't you the one we caught playing patty cake for old man Acme? Last I remember you easily succumbed to his charms."

"You didn't catch me Mr. Valiant. You and Sharpe were set up to take those pictures. All of were pawns."

"What are you talking about?" Eddie said; although, he had an inkling where she was headed. It went straight back to their first suspect.

Jessica placed her hands over her heart. "Maroon. Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want anything to do with it, but he threatened that if I didn't pose for those patty cake pictures he'd destroy Roger's career. Maroon would make it so my darling honey bunny could never work in this town again."

"Maroon was willing to end Roger's film career? But for what purpose?" Eddie was stumped. So far he could point out instigators, but their motives remained clouded by so many possibilities.

Jessica rambled on, full of emotion. "Roger would never be able to star in any film anywhere, not even Bollywood! I couldn't let such a thing happen. I'd do anything for my husband Mr. Valiant."

She pressed her melons against Eddie's bare chest. "Anything."

Sweating, Eddie gulped, "What a wife."

Jessica wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm desperate Eddie. Can't you see how much I need you?"

Eddie let go of the derringer in his pocket. The weight of the small gun pulled down his loose trousers, exposing stained boxers underneath.

"Dabbling in water colors, Eddie?"

Man and temptress turned to see Dani leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and a teasing smirk on her face.

" _Um um um ha ha_ ," the detective stuttered as red and awkward as a tomato. "Y-You got back fast."

Eddie bent down and bumped his head between Jessica's breasts as he tugged up his trousers. He rushed an apology.

"It's good to see you again, Miss Sharpe," Jessica greeted the girl.

Dani chuckled. "Likewise. I see you're treating our detective well."

The junior investigator was just glad Jessica had not descended on Eddie like a harpy as she'd done at the Acme Factory. Thinking back, Dani wondered if the slap and Jessica's angry tirade were all an act.

The temptress smiled seductively at Eddie, who struggled getting his pants on with nerveless hands. "Goodbye, Eddie. My offer stands firm. Think about it," she said.

Touching lipstick coated lips, Jessica blew a flying kiss in Eddie's direction. The red toon lips fluttered and smacked itself on his cheek with a savory squelch. She headed out the door, hips swaying.

"He's all yours now, Miss Sharpe," Jessica said, winking at Dani.

"Sure...Whatever you say, Miss Rabbit," Dani replied as the temptress disappeared down the hall

Dani strode into the office. She looked at the stunned detective. "Never expected Jessica of all people to show up," she clicked her fingers in Eddie's face. "Hello? Earth to Eddie."

Eddie snapped too, blinking as he came to terms with reality again. "W-When did you show up, Sharpe?"

"Right when Jessica was seducing you and your pants fell off," said Dani. "That woman really has an aura about her, doesn't she?"

She pulled Jessica's hickie off Eddie's cheek, blew it out of her hand, and let it flutter into the trashcan.

Eddie threaded a belt through his trousers. " _Eh_. Not really my type. She was probably looking for a good place to stick a knife!"

"Just be thankful it wasn't Dolores or Roger who walked in." Dani grinned at the imagery. "Those two would've beaten you senseless seeing you with Jessica."

"That painted hussy could never turn my head—completely." Eddie buttoned up his shirt. "Seriously though, she's probably trying to get her hands on Roger for her own gain. _Humph_ , some wife."

"That's not all she likes getting her hands on," Dani snarked with a snicker.

Eddie finished dressing as she slipped on his trench coat. "Anyways I think we're on the verge of wrapping up this case," he said. "Jessica mentioned that you, me, and her were set up by Maroon, our primary suspect. I feel for certain that old git is trying too—"

He stopped talking when Dani started shaking her head.

"Wrong, Valiant. Both of us were wrong," said Dani. "That's what I came to tell you."

"More clues?"

The girl nodded. "I stopped by probate, like you suggested. Maroon's not the one after Toontown like you thought."

She went to the window and pointed to a billboard gracing the roof of the building across the street. Eddie came over and gazed at the billboard's familiar green display.

"Cloverleaf? That bloodsucking Fortune Five Hundred company?" Eddie regarded Dani dubiously. "Quit pulling my leg."

"I'm not lying."

"Sure they laid off some of my friends at the bar, bought out the Red Car, and are dominating Los Angeles financially, but what could Cloverleaf want with Toontown?"

Dani leaned over the windowsill and glared up at the horrid billboard. "All I can say is they desperately want Toontown. I found out they put in the highest bid and unless Acme's will shows up by midnight tonight Cloverleaf is going to own Toontown."

"Are you serious? Midnight tonight?" Eddie gasped.

The desire to solve this case was becoming unreachable by the hour. Midnight was closing fast. It was a very small window of time for proper detective work.

"Also..." Dani started. "I read an article that Cloverleaf is rumored to be holding under the counter deals with Russian arms dealers."

Eddie furrowed his brow. "Arms dealers?"

"No lie, it's big talk at the business center," Dani went on. "Apparently Cloverleaf secretly bought missiles and equipment from the Reds. Whether it relates to our case is hard to say."

Eddie ticked off on his fingers. "First they buy the Red Car, then they want to get their hands on Toontown, now they supposedly purchased weapons from Communist Russia...I don't get it."

Dani sighed. "Me neither."

The junior investigator felt like keeping her confrontation with the Toon Patrol secret. She had already burdened Eddie with her research. Bringing Judge Doom into the equation would only make matters worse.

On the desk the phone rang. Eddie answered, spoke a few hushed words, and quickly hung up. He adjusted a fedora on his head and headed out the door.

"Dolores called, we're going back."

"So soon, what's up?" Dani followed, nearly tripping over an overturned flower vase.

Eddie snorted. "Roger decided to put on a show!"

* * *

Squeezed together under a manhole cover, the Toon Patrol kept vigil on the dilapidated office complex. They watched Jessica Rabbit walk out. Greasy couldn't help but ogle her with open eyes as she climbed into a yellow car and drove off.

Greasy pulled out an autographed pinup of the temptress and howled. "Muy sexo! Muy sexo! I love me some curvature on a woman!"

" _Ack!_ Keep it down, horndog. They might overhear us," Wheezy hissed, removing his cigar.

"You keep it down! And stop breathing in my face, Mufflermouth!" Greasy hissed back at his brother.

Wheezy grabbed Greasy by his jacket. "Quit putting down my smokes!"

"Make me!"

Stupid and Psycho cackled like the idiots as both Greasy's and Wheezy's tirade evolved into a fist fight. Soon Greasy wrenched free Wheezy's cigar case and chucked it into the sewer. Cursing him, Wheezy got his hands on Greasy's Jessica pinup and tore it to shreds.

"My pinup! That was a collector's item you dolt," Greasy cried at the gray weasel. "How could you?"

"Serves you right, perv," Wheezy wheezed.

Stupid pounded his pinhead against the sewer lid, unable to stop his infectious giggles. Psycho laughed harder and lost his grip on the ladder. The psychopathic weasel fell cackling into the waste flowing below.

A naked Smarty finally lost all his patience. "Both of you idiots are going to get us caught, so shut up already!" he looked to his younger, dumber brothers. "Psycho, Stupid. I swear you're both going to die laughing one day."

Smarty turned his attention back to the building, feeling vulnerable without his zoot suit on. He swore Dani Sharpe would pay for ruining it! Minutes later the girl herself and Eddie came rushing out of the apartment building.

"Oh there's my other angel," Greasy grinned. "I don't care if she kicked me."

The Spanish weasel revealed a small a camera from under his fedora. He zoomed in on the junior investigator and clicked away.

Greasy salivated. "Now turn this way, no that way! Yes that's it. That's juicy!"

Wheezy rolled his eyes. "You and your contrived pinups. _Bleh_."

Smarty turned to his brothers. "Alright we're tailing them, call the Boss." He glared down in the sewer where Psycho was swimming peacefully through muck.

"And will someone please fish out Psycho."

* * *

NOTE: I pretty much made up my own ideas of how the business/financial stuff is organized in a city and it's researched. I have no clue how it's done in real life. Jessica's "I'm not bad" line and her interactions with Eddie were so is so iconic, that I played it straight and had fun with it. Replacing Dani with Dolores also changed the game too.

Up next is Chapter 8: Bar Fight!


	8. Bar Fight & Flight

Chapter 8: Bar Fight & Flight

Dolores waited outside the Terminal Station Bar. She was growing impatient, tapping her foot irritably until she spotted Eddie's and Dani's faces appearing amongst a sea of faces along the bustling city street. She waved them over hurriedly.

"Took you two long enough," the waitress scolded.

Eddie frowned. "We got a little tied up back at the office. A lot happens in a short period of time."

"Lets cut the chatter and head in," said Dolores. "Roger is blowing it."

Dolores ran up the staircase followed by the partners.

Up top, the bar was a hotbed of clapping and cheers, far different from the melancholic atmosphere of unemployed drunkenness before. Most of the patrons had gathered around the bar counter. Roger Rabbit, the center of attention, performed a combination of dance and slapstick that only a toon could come up with.

In a corner an old fashioned gramophone played a scratchy record of _"_ _The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down_ " from the Looney Tunes.

Dani laughed. "Well it's certainly more lively than usual."

Roger began singing:

 _Oh, Roger is my name,_

 _and laughter is my game!_

 _Come on, cowpoke,_

 _it's just a joke!_

 _Don't sit there on your brain!_

"Hoo hoo! Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo? Hoo hoo!" Roger sang to a random spectator.

He pointed at Eddie as they approached the bar. The detective gave the patrons death glares.

 _My buddy's Eddie V._

 _A sourpuss you'll see._

 _But when I'm done_

 _he'll need no gun_

 _cause a joker he will be._

Spinning a man's toupee, Roger surfed across the counter on a plate.

 _C, D, F, G, H, I-_

 _I-I-I-I love to raise some pain._

 _Believe me it's no strain._

 _It feels so great_

 _to smash a plate_

 _and look there is no pain._

 _No pain._

 _No pain._

 _No pain._

Dolores screamed as Roger began smashing plates on his head, causing the record to skip.

Beyond pissed, Eddie yanked the rabbit off the counter by his ears, hauled him to the backroom, and flung through the doorway. Roger landed headfirst in a mop bucket. In the bar Dani lifted the gramophone's needle of the track, apologized for the inconvenience, and ran in after Eddie.

"Hey, who turned out the lights? I can't see a thing! What's going on?" Roger yelled, his head lodged in the bucket. He began prying off the bucket with his huge, clodhopper feet.

The detective shook with rage. "Crazy rabbit! Tricks are for kids! We're out there risking our necks for you and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!

Dani caught the bucket as Roger managed kicking it off his head.

"But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to do tricks that make people laugh," Roger pleaded.

"Roger has a point," said Dani. "Earlier some of those people were beyond help, but Roger offered some comfort and hope back into their lives. It's more than just cracking jokes and dancing like a buffoon."

Ignoring the girl, Eddie forced Roger into a chair.

"You just don't understand. Eddie, those people, your friends, they needed a heartwarming laugh," Roger said.

"Yeah," Eddie snapped, "and when they're done laughing their butts off they're gonna call the cops. One loser out there, Angelo, would rat on you for pocket change!"

Roger bit his fingertips. "No way. They'd never turn me in."

"Why? Because you made them laugh?"

The rabbit stood on the chair till he was level with Eddie. "That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life it's the only weapon we have. Laughter is super important. Dani agrees with me, don't you Dani?"

Dani was thoughtful. "While it was risky blowing our cover, your performance was enlightening and hilarious. I give it two thumbs up, Roger."

The girl jerked up her thumbs and looked to Eddie. "Eddie I think retirement's robbed you of something special, something you lost when Teddy was killed. For a while I felt the same way about toons."

She smiled at Roger. "But after today I learned that we never really outgrow the need for a good laugh. Toons are worth saving as much as people."

Eddie's eyes widened. "How did you know Teddy was murd—"

A red light in the corner flashed warningly. They stood silent, still as statues.

"What is it?" Dani and Roger asked.

The redness of the light reflected off Eddie's horror. "We have company," he murmured.

* * *

Back in the bar the air seemed to grow colder as Doom entered the Terminal Station Bar. The joy Roger had brought only minutes ago dissipated within seconds. Patrons returned to their tables and cowered over their drinks. The judge enjoyed his fearful persona he exacted unto others.

Behind the judge the Toon Patrol trooped in carrying an assortment of weapons.

"Wait here," Doom ordered Smarty as he walked to the counter.

"I'm looking for a murderer, a rabbit to be exact." He leaned on a dwarfish patron, pushing the poor guy to his knees as he measured. "A toon rabbit about yeay...big."

Dolores gripped the bar rail, her fingers digging into the cold metal. "Look buddy, there's no rabbit here, so quit harassing my customers."

Doom smiled icily. "That's where you're wrong miss. I didn't come here to harass. I came here to reward."

He walked around the bar counter to a chalkboard listing the bar's daily meal deals. Beside it stood a one armed janitor, Dolores's only employee. Doom erased the menu using the empty sleeve of the janitor's jacket, then scraped a stick of chalk across the board with a sickening screech.

Everyone read the board where the judge had written: _'RABBIT DIP $5000-'_

A dumpy guy sitting at the counter whistled. "Hey! I seen a rabbit."

"Angelo, don't," Dolores begged.

"Where?" Doom asked, drawing closer.

"He's right here in the bar. Well say hello..." Angelo snickered and put his arm around empty air like he would a friend "...Harvey! _Ha ha ha ha_!

Doom kept a straight face. At the end of the bar the gramophone needle skipped over and over. Stepping around the broken dishes that littered the floor, he inspected the musical machine. He picked up the record, held it to his nose, and sniffed the thin vinyl edge.

Dolores found the actions bizarre.

"Merry go round broke down. Quite a loony selection for a group of drunken reprobates," said the judge, glowering at the patrons.

A heavy silence of guilt and shame fell over the bar.

Doom sniffed the record again delightedly. "He's here!"

The judge sent the record flying like a frisbee until it lodged itself in Stupid's mouth, snagging on the weasel's single incisor. All the weasels broke out into terrible laughter as Stupid fought to dislodge his tooth from the vinyl disk. .

Doom rounded on his cackling henchmen. "Stop that laughing! Did you forget what happened last time? Your idiot hyena cousins ended up dead because they couldn't stop laughing! Do you want to end up like them?"

Smarty—oddly wearing a pink sundress—wiped tears from his eyes. "Sorry Boss, it's just a riot when it happens to Stupid. You want us to disassemble the place?"

"Don't," answered Doom."Wrecking the establishment won't be necessary. The rabbit will come right to us."

With his skull tipped cane, Doom began tapping out a melody on the walls, a melody almost everyone recognized.

 _Freak,_ thought Dolores. "May I ask what you are doing to my walls?"

"No toon can resist the shave and a haircut trick, my dear," Doom explained, moved to another wall, then tapped away. "Shave and a haircut..."

* * *

Bug-eyed, Roger twitched nervously as he fought for control over the tempting tempo that was _Shave and a Haircut_. With each catchy tap Roger lost another ounce of resistant willpower.

"Roger! No! Don't listen! Roger resist!" Dani and Eddie yelled separately, knowing their peals were useless.

In an explosion of wood and plaster, Roger burst out of the wall. His voice rose to a conclusive crescendo.

"Two bits! _Ack_!"

Judge Doom choked off Roger's last breath in a death grip around his neck.

As the dust settled, Smarty pointed his revolver at the partners behind the wall. "Hey Judge. What do you want done with these wall flowers?"

"We'll see to Valiant and Sharpe posthaste. Right now I feel like dispensing some justice." Doom carried Roger to the center of the bar. "Bring me some dip!"

Roger gagged frightfully as Greasy and Wheezy rolled a steel barrel into view. Dip sloshed inside the barrel, an uninviting sound.

"Not good," Dani whispered. "Eddie we have to do something right now."

Eddie gritted his teeth. Sweat poured down his neck as they watched Roger's execution play out. He had one idea though, one crazy slim chance for them to make a break for the stairs and get away as far and as fast as possible. He tapped Dani's shoulder.

"Stay here," Eddie muttered. "I'm getting a drink."

Dani scowled. "Fine time for a drink, Valiant. Maybe you'd like a bowl of pretzels to go with it?"

The detective clambered over the ruined wall and met Dolores at the bar counter.

"Hey where's he going?" Smarty spat, pointing his gun at Eddie's back.

Dani knew she had to keep the weasel occupied. "Nice dress," she smiled.

"Only because you ruined my precious zoot suit," Smarty pouted, lowering his revolver. "It was one of a kind, and this sundress was the only thing I could find that was pink."

Dani rolled her eyes. "Please. You can get drawn another suit."

As the girl and weasel bickered Doom flipped open the barrel's lid and revealed the green Dip. He held Roger over the acidic soup.

"Does the condemned have anything to say before his sentence is carried out?" the judged asked Roger.

Roger nodded vigorously "Nose plugs would be nice!"

"Instead, how about a nice scotch on the house?" said Eddie, approaching them. In his hand he held a glass full of brown scotch. He turned to Doom for permission. "What do you say Judge? Let the rabbit wet his whistle before you dunk him."

Hesitation stayed Doom's hand. Relenting, he carried Roger away from the barrel. "Well why not? I don't mind prolonging the inevitable, I'm a patient man after all."

"You sure are, judge," Eddie said and offered Roger the glass. "Happy trails."

The rabbit waved his gloved hands. "Appreciate the thought, Eddie. But I'm trying to cut down."

Eddie shoved the drink in his face. "Drink up."

"But I don't want to drink, I swear!" Roger countered.

Doom faced Eddie. "The rabbit doesn't drink, Valiant."

" _Psh_ , who doesn't drink these days. Roger loves the stuff!"

"No, I don't!" Roger yelled back.

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I don't"

Jumping over the wall, Dani called out to Roger. "You tell him, Roger! You don't drink."

The rabbit swung his head toward her. "Of course I do, Dani!"

"No you don't."

"I do!

"You don't!"

"Listen, when I say I do it means I do." Grabbing the glass from Eddie, Roger chugged its contents.

Transforming into a steam whistle, Roger rocketed toward the ceiling and released a drawn out, ear piecing cry. A vocal shock wave sent Doom and the weasels reeling into tables and chairs. Throughout the bar beer bottles exploded and rained colorful glass shards. Dolores and her patrons ducked under the bar and tables for protection.

Seizing their chance, the partners lashed out at the Toon Patrol.

Lifting a chair, Eddie hurled it at Wheezy, who was toting a tommy gun and spraying bullets at Roger. The chair struck the gray weasel hard and he flew out a window to land in the busy street outside. Eddie felt the wind knocked out of him as Stupid rammed into him and clubbed him across the back with his bat. The detective landed over the bar counter, fighting to gain breath.

Stupid stepped aside to allow Greasy to finish the job with his stiletto.

"Eddie! Behind you!" Dani tore past Psycho and Smarty. She rolled fluidly under a swing from Stupid's bat. Landing in a crouch behind Stupid, Dani chopped a single handed blow across the weasel's neck and knocked the dumb weasel senseless.

Greasy raised his knife, ready to gut Eddie.

Dani drew out the knife from her boot, flipped it backwards, and struck out at Greasy. Instead of cutting down the detective, Greasy swung around and slashed his knife at her. The girl's and weasel's blades caught momentarily, their sharp edges igniting sparks. They recoiled, slashed, and parried in a dance of bladed steel.

Greasy's blade cut a swath of cloth and skin from Dani's upper left arm.

She winced and gripped her arm as it bled freely.

"Fast, but not fast enough, muchacha," Greasy said, flipping his knife. "Next time you want to fight, fight my—OWW!"

Dani's foot connected with Greasy's shin again as she spun on her knife arm on the floor and kicked out with her upper leg. The Spanish weasel toppled like a domino.

By now Roger's whistling had subsided. Returning to normal, Roger plummeted toward the open barrel of Dip. Having recovered, Eddie rushed toward the Dip barrel and caught the rabbit.

"Way too close!" the detective breathed.

Across the bar Doom approached them, a black specter ready for the kill. He held his cane like a sheathed sword ready to be drawn. Setting Roger down, Eddie kicked over the barrel. A green tidal wave cascaded across the bar, halting Doom's progress as the judge retreated nervously from his creation.

"Come on Eddie! Let's get out of here! Move it pops!" Roger cried, tugging at Eddie's sleeve.

"We're going," Eddie replied.

Bolting for the staircase, the detective yelled across the bar at Dolores. "Dolores! Get my car out of the shop and pack our things, you know where to meet us! Dani get a move on!"

"Give me a second!" The girl ran from Psycho, who was slashing with a cleaver only for Smarty to block her path—again! Luckily the lead weasel had lost his revolver in the tumult.

"Hold your horses, girly! The Boss still wants you." Smarty flashed his teeth. "And I'll be honest with you this time. He knows a few things about you, like your father's truth fate."

"What?" Dani gasped.

"You heard me right. Mr. Sharpe never died in that accident."

Judge Doom skirted around the Dip and gunned right for Dani, a pleasantly creepy smile on his thin face. Doom held out his hand to Dani and a flash of familiarity struck her as a memory from years ago resurfaced.

"N-No. It can't be!" Dani shuddered to her core. "No frikking way!"

"Come with us, Dani. Take a chance with us," Smarty prodded.

Eddie suddenly reappeared atop the staircase, calling for his partner. "Dani! Hustle!"

Banishing the memory, Dani reached down and ripped Smarty's sundress asunder.

" _Ah_! My dress!" Smarty screeched, covering nonexistent privates.

"I think I'll take my chances with my friends," Dani proclaimed. She leaped over the naked weasel, bolted past Doom, and reached the staircase in a single bound. Clapping Eddie on the back the two of them rushed out of the bar.

It was when they escaped outside that Dani started panicking. "We have to get out of here fast. Valiant, we need a ride."

Eddie pointed to a black van—the Toon Patrol's van—when suddenly its back doors blew open. Swerving around the van, a scrunched yellow toon cab stopped along the curb in front of the partners. Roger sat on the driver's side spinning the wheel.

"Ah! That's better! I can't believe those weasels locked me up for driving on a sidewalk!" the cab spoke in a New Yorker accent. He shrugged his fenders. "It was just a coupla' of miles!"

Roger revved the engine, toonish exhaust spewed out the cab's tailpipe. "Eddie. Dani. Get in!"

"I'll drive!" Eddie yelled, scooting around the rabbit.

Dani slipped in next to Roger. Slamming the door, she checked around, making sure Doom and the weasels didn't get the jump on them.

"But I wanna drive!" Roger protested.

"Forget it! I'll drive! I'm the cab!" the toon cab broke in. "And the name's Benny just so you know!"

The toon cab swerved wide as he merged into traffic, narrowly avoiding a collision with a pedestrian crossing the street.

"Outta my way pencil neck!" Benny crowed loudly. "And how about this weather, _huh_? It never rains!"

"Sure, nice weather. Just get us out of here," Eddie demanded, his grip tight on the steering wheel.

Dani turned her head around and shrunk in the seat. "Guys. We've got weasels on our six o'clock."

Behind them the five weasel brothers piled into their black van. At the wheel, Smarty punched the gas and pulled into traffic. The siren set atop the van wailed and flashed, clearing enough traffic for the Toon Patrol to close the gap between themselves and the toon cab. Inside the van Smarty pushed down further on the gas, nipping Benny's bumper.

"Don't worry, miss. They're going to eat my dust!" Benny yelled over his hood.

In a burst of speed Benny punched between two, slow moving cars. Wind whipped their faces as they sped on through unscathed. They veered in and out of lanes on either side of the street, zipping by cars in a blur of yellow and honking drivers. Slowly the distance between them and the van widened as the Toon Patrol became lost within traffic.

At an intersection straight ahead the lights turned red to enable a Red Car to pass.

"Benny. Watch out!" Rogers eyes popped out of their sockets.

Benny's brakes screeched while his back end fishtailed. The passengers held on to the dashboard tightly as Benny pinwheeled into the intersection. Swerving right, then speeding straight, then swerving left again the toon cab shot around the trolley's backside. Benny quickly rejoined traffic on the main road.

Dani banged Benny's dashboard.

"Cops inbound!" "I know. I know," Benny replied.

A pair of motorcycle cops sped out of a side street. Throttling their bikes, they pursued Benny and his passengers.

"Benny lose them in that alley!" Eddie shouted.

Without word, Benny spun and drove backwards into the alley. They were now facing the cops who had turned into the alley as well. At the other end, the Toon Patrol van reappeared and gunned at them.

Roger grabbed hold of the wheel. "Eddie, give me the wheel. Give me the wheel!"

Eddie wrestled with Roger for supremacy over steering. He jerked it far to the right, sending Benny into another dizzying spin. Their white-knuckled whirl ceased and they were driving forward again.

"Hey quit driving! You'll get us all killed!" the cab ordered.

"Now we've got cops on our tail, Eddie," Roger said.

"I know we have cops on our tail!" Eddie shot back. "And now we have weasels at our nose!"

The cops and weasels closed in on the toon cab from both ends of the alley.

"Pull the lever!" Benny cried.

Roger searched the dashboard of buttons and gauges. "Which one? Which one?"

"Which one!?" the cab cried, exasperated.

Despite there only being one huge lever on the dashboard the rabbit still had trouble finding it in time. A sign popped out of a little door and pointed to the lever flashing with a red light.

Reaching across Roger, Dani pulled it down.

Before the moment of impact Benny rose into the air on springs and flew over the oncoming van. Balancing on his springy wheels, Benny escaped into traffic once more. Back in the alley, the weasel's eyes exploded into the windshield as the cops and their motorcycles collided with the van. The cops landed hard on the pavement, crushing their legs.

"I'm getting to old for this," moaned Benny, jumping and driving onto a low bridge. "Well fellas. Where can I drop ya off?"

Roger was shaking uncontrollably. "Somewhere we can hide."

"The cinema, Benny, that's where we're going," Eddie affirmed.

"Good idea, and if you should ever need a ride just stick out your thumb." Benny sped up, cutting off a car trying to change lanes. "Hey lady! Share the road will ya!"

Wedging herself in the corner, Dani pulled her legs onto the seat and curled into a ball. Quietly she wept.


	9. A Tale of Two Detectives

Chapter 9: A Tale of Two Detectives

A deluge of popcorn showered Eddie as Roger lost himself in a fit of laughter. On screen a Goofy cartoon was playing. Kids in the audience below and Roger exploded with more laughter and popcorn as Goofy swung on gymnastic rings through the ceiling of his exercise room. More popcorn rained upon Eddie.

Roger turned to the bored detective, shaking his box of popcorn. "Boy, did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy! What timing! What finesse! What a genius!"

"Real genius," muttered Eddie and shoved Roger into his seat. "We're supposed to be hiding. What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?" repeated Roger. "You're the only person in this theater that isn't laughing! Is there nothing that can permeate your impervious puss?"

The rabbit pulled his face back, sticking out his tongue. "Hey Eddie! Plplplll!"

Eddie gave no reaction whatsoever.

"I can't believe it," Roger sighed. "You're really down in the dumps tonight."

Eddie seethed. "Of course! It's your fault for blowing our cover at the bar. You just couldn't resist temptation."

Roger went back to watching the Goofy cartoon, burrowing into the theater seat so that only his ears could be seen. "At least I'm not an emotional sourpuss," he said.

"If you haven't noticed I'm not the only one whose emotional right now, Roger." The detective sighed and glanced over at Dani Sharpe seated ten rows away from them. Dani sat alone, unmoved by even the slightest bit of Goofy's shenanigans. Propping her head against the armrest, the girl stared into space. A strip of bloodied blue cloth ripped from Dani's undershirt bound the knife wound on her left arm.

Eddie didn't know what to do until Dolores arrived ten minutes later. The waitress, wearing her Sunday best, sat next to him.

"You got all our stuff?" he asked her.

Dolores deposited a leather satchel in Eddie's lap. "Yes. It's all packed up, and your car is as good as new. Would've been here earlier, but I had to shake the weasels."

"I'll pay you back for the shop bill, and I'm sorry about the trouble in the bar, Dolores."

"Doesn't matter. Stuffing olives for a living wasn't for me anyway." The waitress shrugged, leaned into Eddie, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "As long as I have a good man by my side, then he's all I need."

Reddening, Eddie returned the favor by pulling Dolores in for a hug. Their lips met soon after.

"How's Dani doing?" Dolores asked next.

Eddie nodded toward the reticent girl. "I don't know what's eating her up. She refuses to say a word...There's also the fact she knows about Teddy."

Dolores raised her hand bashfully and admitted to telling Dani about Teddy Valiant's true demise. She also told her about the girl's confrontation with Smarty and Doom back in the bar.

"I couldn't hear what Smarty was saying, but it's obvious it was some terrible truth that concerned Dani...and Doom," Dolores finished.

Suddenly Roger rose from his seat. "We should go talk to Dani."

"You could open up to her with Teddy," Dolores suggested.

Eddie gazed at his partner. He never enjoyed even mentioning Teddy in most civil conversations. Now he supposed it was worth a shot if it meant getting Dani Sharpe to open up, plus he had Roger. The rabbit was more than willing to help the kind girl who supported his antics out of her rut.

Eddie stood up. "I'll give it a go."

Dolores stood as well. "Guess I'll take my leave. Wish I could stay and chat."

"You're going so soon?"

"This is yours and Dani's case, Eddie, not mine. She needs you, and only you right now. But I wish you all the luck," Dolores said. "Luck for all three of you."

"Give Dani my regards." Kissing Eddie one more time and hugging Roger, the waitress left the theater as quietly as she had entered.

Now it was just the two of them again. Eddie and Roger found new seats by Dani. Flipping down the theater seat next to her, Eddie sat while Roger perched atop the seat in front of the girl. Eddie propped his legs up and began directly with Teddy as Dolores had suggested.

"Sharpe— _uh—_ Dani I mean. I wanted to talk to you about Teddy. Although you probably know how he died, you don't why," said the detective.

"Tell it true, Eddie." Roger nervously squeezed his ears.

Dani said nothing, her eyes vacant of recognition, or care.

The detective cleared his throat. "We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days me and Teddy liked working in Toontown. Thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyways, this guy got away with a zillion semolians. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yahtzel Street, only he got the drop on us...Literally. You already know what happens..."

"...Problem is I never did find out who our suspect was. All I remember was him standing over me cackling like the devil himself with those burning red eyes, and that high squeaky voice. He escaped into the depths of Toontown after that."

"Red eyes, squeaky voice..." Dani murmured.

Roger was bawling his eyes out. "No wonder you hate me! If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too."

"Please, the story wasn't even meant for you." Eddie sighed. "Look I never said hated you."

The rabbit sneezed into his ears and rubbed his red rimmed eyes. "Yes you do; otherwise, you wouldn't yank my ears all the time."

Eddie apologized, hoping Roger would quit the waterworks. "Okay. I'm sorry for each and every time I yanked your ears."

"Apology accepted!" Roger sniffled and held out his snotty hand to Eddie. "Put it there pal."

Hiding disgust, Eddie shook Roger's wrist instead. He remembered how fast some toons recovered from sadness.

"Strangely the same thing happened to my dad and I," Dani whispered sullenly. "Only it was at home with a fire..."

For too long now Dani Sharpe had kept her life story hidden. Many times she wanted to share it and each time she struggled forming the words that could express her memories. It was worse now after meeting Judge Doom and hearing of Teddy's murderer. Dani felt uncertain how the outcome of any new revelation might affect her.

Still, she was willing to try again.

Roger hopped onto the girl's lap and cuddled against her affectionately and Eddie urged her to keep going.

Dani patted Roger's head. "I-I don't know...it's weird."

"Hey! I work for weird." Eddie looked at Roger, he clasped her hand. "You can tell me anything because I'm here for you."

Returning the clasp, the junior investigator closed her eyes. "I've kept this hidden for 10 years...My dad was Richard Sharpe. In the LAPD he earned the title of Lieutenant, just like Santino. I think you've heard of him, Valiant."

"Of course! Lieutenant Richard D. Sharpe." Eddie smacked his head. How could he fail to connect the dots? "He was one of LA's most storied investigators of the past two decades. He even trained Santino personally."

Roger mouthed a wow.

"And I wanted to be just like him one day. Dad was my inspiration, my whole world until—" Dani stopped.

Eddie could practically predict the story. "The news reported Richard died in a house fire caused by arson. You were there that night, Dani?"

"At the time I was ten years old. The fire came out of nowhere and I fought to escape the inferno as it consumed everything we owned. Dad wasn't so fortunate, yet remains were never found," said Dani.

Eddie was wide eyed. "Because Richard survived."

Dani nodded. "Bingo. During the fire dad came for me, but I sensed something different about him. He was crazed, desperate, psychologically unstable. He had changed from the parent I knew. So for the first time...I ran from him. I still don't know what came over him."

"When I escaped I swore I saw a silhouette reflected within the flames looking at me. Eddie," she turned to the detective, "it had red eyes, and a false smile with a high pitched laugh."

Roger jumped up and down in the girl's lap. "That sounds like the same weirdo who axed off Teddy. The plot thickens!"

"There's something else. One last thing," Dani revealed. "Earlier today I got the same vibes from Doom that I felt from dad that night, and worse Doom and Smarty wanted me to come with them. You don't think he's...?"

Eddie relaxed into his chair, propping up his legs again. The girl's tale was becoming a big pill to swallow.

"Hard to say," he sighed. "You're a lot more attractive than that gargoyle, that's for sure."

Dani blushed, smiling for the first time in hours. "Thanks."

"What about your mother? Did she survive the fire?" Roger asked.

Dani shook her head. "Honestly, I never knew my mom at all. She passed away along with a friend when I was really little, or at least that's what dad always told me."

"I'm sorry to hear all that," said Eddie. "But just know I'm proud to call you my partner, Sharpe. You learn quick, your sincerity and understanding for others is beyond measure, and..."

Dani rose up. "And what?"

The detective grinned. "You kick some pretty sweet ass."

" _Ha ha_. Good thing I got into karate lessons and not makeup tutorials, or we'd all be dead."

They both laughed.

"Plus now you have a kinship with toons again," said Eddie, poking Roger's nose.

The rabbit smacked his hand away. "Careful I bite."

"Look whose talking, Valiant. You need to rebuild your kinship with toons as well, and lighten up on the jokes," Dani accused.

"Guilty as charged," said Eddie.

On the screen a musical fanfare played. Clapping, Roger hopped off Dani's lap and jumped to the edge of the balcony. "Oh boy! I hope it's another cartoon!"

The rabbit's face fell when a newsreel played. He hung over the railing, automatically bored. "Jeepers. Another stupid newsreel. I hate the news."

Eddie reached into the satchel Dolores had given him and pulled out a wooden case bolted together by riveted cross sections. He gave the case to Dani. "Here. I think you more than earned this today. Treat it with respect and it could save your life."

Dani opened the case and revealed a pistol. The gunmetal pistol reflected the dim light of the projector playing the newsreel. Along the handle a was inscribed: TV. Included with the pistol was a leg holster and an extra magazine loaded with bullets.

"Woah. Never thought I'd ever be issued one of these," Dani picked up the gun and ran her fingers over the abbreviated inscription. "Teddy Valiant, this used to be Teddy's?!"

"He'd want you to have it, Sharpe," Eddie reassured. "I would've given you mine...but it's a little different than any conventional firearm, this suits you more."

Loading a magazine, Dani strapped the holster around her right leg and holstered the pistol. The weight of the weapon bore with it danger, courage, and responsibility.

"Thank you, Eddie." She smiled. "It really means a lot—"

But the the detective was too busy watching the newsreel with Roger to listen any further.

The newsreel played out by first mentioning Maroon Studios in its headline: '...the Pacific Red Car Trolley Line and the venerated Maroon Cartoon Studios. Here R. K. Maroon is seen clinching a deal with Cloverleaf's bankers and executives in one of the biggest real estate deals in Californian history.'

Eddie burst to his feet. "That's it! That's the connection we've been looking for."

He looked between Dani and Roger.

"We're paying Maroon a visit tonight. No appointments necessary this time."

* * *

Note: Well there you go. Through mutual understanding Dani's and Eddi's pasts revealed to be somehow related. But not everything should be taken at face value. Our resident judge still harbors secrets too.


	10. Tonic of the Doomed

Chapter 10: Tonic of the Doomed

"A very successful business venture, Mr. Doom."

"I wholeheartedly agree, Mirovich. My company Cloverleaf looks forward to any future...relations with your outfit."

"Yes, yes!"

"How about a drink?"

"Most graciously."

Judge Doom delightedly reached under the table and produced a bottle of gin and several glasses. Clicking his fingers the Toon Patrol, fulfilling the roll of servers, began distributing the glasses among their guests, the Russian arms dealers the Red Stars.

In the warehouse across from the dining area Doom marveled his latest acquisitions bought with money from Cloverleaf. A dozen Soviet grade missiles packed away in crates and ready to be shipped out of Toontown to the Acme factory. Once there the missiles would be equipped with special warheads of Doom's own design.

Not only the missiles, but the _Doombringer—_ Doom's child of destruction _—_ was nearly complete. Only one test cycle remained until he unleashed the machine's wrath upon Toontown.

Doom loved it when a plan came together.

He handed the gin bottle to Viktor Mirovich, the ringleader of the Red Stars and the judge's primary connection to the illegal arms race gripping the international underworld.

Viktor Mirovich was a brawny man sporting graying muttonchops, old battle scars, and army fatigues. Sadly the arms leaders was as dumb as his muscles. Mirovich and his associates only saw Doom at face value as the CEO of Cloverleaf and a competent, albeit creepy, judge of the law. Of course the arms leader wasn't the only one in Hollywood who only viewed Doom at face value. No one suspected that "Judge Doom" was just one of many personas implemented throughout the years to further his plans.

Mirovich tapped the bottle. " _Ah_ , yes! 1905. An excellent year and perfect for celebrations. Don't you agree boys!"

Mirovich's associates, less boisterous arms dealers, muttered agreement with their hardy leader.

The arms leader returned the bottle to Doom, who then handed it off to Smarty.

Smarty growled at Doom like a caged animal. "How much longer do we have to put up with this charade, Boss?"

"Not much longer, Smarty," Doom replied in a whisper. "I'm just buttering up Mirovich, getting him relaxed. The transformation is easier when the subject is at ease."

" _Eh_ , if you say so," Smarty looked down at his feminine attire. "Why do I have to wear a dress? You promised to draw me a new zoot suit."

Among the Toon Patrol weasels Smarty was the only one dressed in a frilly, black waitress outfit. He differed greatly from his brothers, especially suave Greasy, who were all sharply dressed in tuxedos and platform shoes.

"I just assumed you liked dresses considering you were wearing a sundress," Doom said.

Smarty blushed, wringing his hands. "Well it did show off my legs...But I feel more confident in a good suit."

The judge sighed. "Fine. After our guests have been served I promise to draw you a new suit."

"Pink?"

Doom groaned. "Yes, pink."

Grinning ear to ear, Smarty took the gin bottle and began pouring drinks, an excited smile plastered on his weaselly face.

"You surround yourself with toons as your associates," Mirovich commented, staring at Smarty hungrily. "That one weasel cartoon serving the drinks— _Rawr_!"

" _Um_ , that's a male," Doom informed.

Mirovich suddenly looked uncomfortable. " _Oh_."

"Back to your comment. Yes, toons make excellent servants. I find these weasels fit the criteria for...certain jobs that require professional know how," Doom explained.

The arms leader nodded. "Interesting."

Secretly Doom was growing to detest the Toon Patrol. The weasel brothers proved absolutely useless in the capture of Roger Rabbit and finding the elusive Acme will. Their recent stint at the Terminal Station Bar further proved an inability to properly fight as team. Valiant and especially Sharpe had proven themselves more than capable against a gaggle of weasels. Each weasel bore a distinct characters trait that corrupted the patrol overall; Wheezy smoked too much, Stupid was plain stupid, Psycho rarely paid attention, Greasy was overly perverted, and lately Smarty was becoming confused about his gender. All in all the Toon Patrol needed a major overall, or replacements.

Doom looked around at the Red Stars.

These men would make excellent replacements to the Toon Patrol and would add necessary muscle that the current patrol lacked. The Red Stars only required a bit of persuading.

When Smarty returned with the gin bottle Doom poured himself a glass as well. He raised his glass to Mirovich and his associates.

"To the Red Star and the future of animation! Cheers!"

"Cheers, Mr. Doom," Mirovich laughed.

The judge and arms leader clinked glasses, then everyone down their gin.

From the warehouse doorway the Toon Patrol watched anxiously for the fireworks to begin. They had seen Doom succumb to the transformation time and again

" _Duh,_ when will it start?" Stupid picked his nose and wiped his finger on the hem of Smarty's dress.

"Hey not the dress!" Smarty yelled, cleaning the gunk off his skirt.

"Very soon, muchacho," Greasy said to Stupid. "At least we won't have to be the ones to transport all those missiles."

Wheezy lit a cigar. "Agreed. Nothing like dumb muscle to do the job for you."

Mirovich set down his glass. Licking his lips he relished the sweet flavor.

"You like it now..." Doom trailed.

Two minutes later the arms dealer began feeling a change. First Mirovich's arm trembled, then his other arm, then his legs. Soon his entire body trembled. Rising Mirovich lurched toward the backdoor of the warehouse. Every heave of the stuffy warehouse air turned into a struggle. He reached for the door handle and discovered he couldn't grab it. His hand was turning rubbery, the refined human shape slowly mutating into pudgy toon hands. His skin took on a waxy sheen.

Around the table the other arms dealers were slumped over their drinks, slowly morphing like their leader.

Mirovich looked from the grinning Toon Patrol, then to the judge.

"What did you do to us?" he demanded.

Doom retrieved the gin bottle and peeled off the fanciful label. Underneath the false label in bold green lettering the bottle read "Toon Tonic".

"The toonification is quite jarring the fist time, Viktor," said Doom. "Trust me I felt the same way when I first drank Toon Tonic; although, once it's over you will be as happy as a clown."

"Why did you do this? You got the missiles," Mirovich hacked. Already his human mug was reshaping to extreme, toony proportions.

Across the room the rest of the Red Stars moaned, writhing on the floor in the throes of toonification.

Doom shrugged. "I needed someone to transport the missiles out of Toontown, and you and your men fit the bill."

"Doooom! You'll pay for this!" Mirovich cried, pounding a fist into the floor.

"Doubt that. Once the transformation wraps up you'll be obedient to me," said Doom.

And with that Doom and the Toon Patrol withdrew from the warehouse and shut the back door on the doomed Red Stars.

"We'll let the process carry out," said Doom. "When it is over Wheezy will direct the loading of the missiles. As for the rest of you—"

He looked over Smarty, Greasy, Stupid, and Psycho hesitantly. Because of their failures, he hated to trust the patrol with another task. Really he had no choice.

"—Valiant and Sharpe will likely catch on to our operations and thwart us."

"You want us to patrol the streets? Boss, Valiant doesn't have the guts to come to Toontown, not after what you did to his brother," Smarty snapped.

Doom shook his head. "The detective will come, trust me. Sharpe as well."

Greasy was picking his fingers with his stiletto. "You still want her, Boss? I could see that arranged."

The junior investigator had excelled beyond what Doom had originally anticipated. Daniella Sharpe was clever, insightful, and a proficient fighter against the likes of toon and human thugs alike. She personified her father Lieutenant Richard Sharpe to a tee. Doom wanted the girl, and he wanted her now!

"Do what you can, Greasy. All of you do what you can." Doom turned to leave, his cane tapping in time with his steps.

"And where are you going?" Smarty called after the judge.

"I got a call from Maroon Studios. Seems the will has finally shown up," Doom patted something underneath his black coat. "Hopefully I can silence the goody goodies who've been hiding it all this time."

Psycho pointed his fingers like guns. "He going shooting tonight _hehehe_!"


	11. Separation Anxiety

Chapter 11: Separation Anxiety

Halfway across town they drove nonstop. The entire time Roger Rabbit expressed his discomfort, then he would bite and file down his fingers as he trembled fearfully. Acting like a goofball ninety five percent of the time, seeing Roger anxious about returning to his workplace—Maroon Studios—was odd to say the least. The partners ignored Roger's unease, and each other. Their focus was on getting back at the toon tycoon who had set them up.

Coming up on the right the bold, lighted sign of Maroon Studios flashed into view. It reflected through the car's windshield glaringly bright. The very name gracing the edifice was a mockery to cartoons. It stank of sleazy greed.

Eddie turned the wheel, blazed under the sign, and gunned straight for the administration building. Parking between the shadows of two sound stages, the partners quietly slipped out of the blue car and looked across the wet street at the administration building.

One hazy light shone through the blinds of Maroon's executive office.

"He's here and waiting for the will," Eddie said.

"And hours before midnight when the will becomes null and void," Dani reiterated.

The detective had contacted Maroon at the cinema and had lied through his teeth about wanting a meeting to discuss the issue with the Acme murder. Really it was more of an interrogation, a chance to get the tycoon alone.

In the car Roger slipped out. His fingers glued to the door.

The rabbit's teeth chattered like ice cubes. "Let's forget it. There's nobody here."

"Is that it, or are you scared?" asked Eddie.

Dani leaned down to Roger so they stared face to face. "I didn't think toons got scared."

Roger jumped out of the car. "Plplpllllease! Me scared? Don't be ridiculous," He gnawed his teeth, sending hangnails flying everywhere. "When you called Maroon you told him you had the will but you don't. When he finds out he's going to be mad. He might try to kill ya."

The rabbit flattened against a wall, hiding from full view of the administration building.

Eddie harrumphed. "No Hollywood cream puff is going to get the best of me, but I can't go in blindly with my back turned." He looked between Roger and Dani. "You two cover me. If you hear, or see anything beep the horn twice."

Girl and rabbit nodded.

"Are you sure you should do this alone, Valiant? Roger could stay here and I could search the office archives for—" Dani started until Eddie turned away.

"No, Sharpe," said Eddie. "This is something I've been dying to do all day. Maybe one day you can come, but right now I need you here."

The detective cracked a grin. "Besides someone needs to babysit Roger."

"Hey! How old do you think I am?" Roger complained.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Lets not forget about what happened at Dolores's bar. We can't leave you unsupervised."

Roger opened his mouth to protest, but the detective's stern expression shut him up. Deep down the rabbit knew that Eddie was right. He had caused them a load of trouble earlier.

"You two stay safe," Eddie finally said.

He jogged to the administration building and climbed the steps two at a time. At the top he tested the door; it was locked fast. Eddie extracted a pack of lock picks from his coat, picked one out, and inserted it into the lock. He twisted the pick back and forth, jangling the doorknob until the lock gave with a soft click.

Beads of sweat tumbled down Eddie's face. Taking a breath he crept inside the dark office building. He silently slipped down the hall intent on catching his target when he least expected it.

* * *

"Hey, Dani," said Roger. "I never got the chance to thank you."

Dani was leaning on the hood of Eddie's blue car keeping vigil when the rabbit approached her.

"For what?"

Roger hoped onto the hood, caving in the metal as he landed. "For supporting my antics and for trying to prove my innocence. Unlike what others might think you've got what it takes to become a full fledged detective one day, Dani."

Dani shrugged and fingered her new pistol strapped on her leg. "How do we know you're really innocent? You could have killed Acme for real, and Eddie and I did find yellow toon paint on the rope that was supporting that safe."

Roger looked at his yellow gloves, shaking his head.

"Don't deny it—murderer."

"No, no, no, no! I could never kill anyone out of grief. I was framed," Roger cried, his blue eyes riveted on her gun. "I swear!"

One of his ears folded around his head like a headband and the other stood on end and and transformed into a feather. Stripes of warpaint appeared on his cheek. Roger crossed a hand over his heart and spoke in a rough voice like the indian chief from Peter Pan.

"Honest injun!"

Dani relaxed, chuckling playfully. "Good one, but I was only pulling your leg. I believe you're pure of heart through and through."

Blinking, the rabbit relaxed and transformed back to normal. He cracked a relieved, tired smile. "Gee...thanks for that."

"Toons aren't the only one who can joke," said Dani. "And thanks for the compliment Roger."

She looked askance. "A lot of people back in LAPD never took me seriously. Whether it was my age, inexperience, or the fact that I'm female those guys always gave me the short end of the stick...It's different with Eddie though. I don't think I would mind being a Toon Private Eye."

"Good to hear, Sharpe. Then you could solve more cases!" Roger exclaimed.

Dani shushed him. "For now though lets solve yours, and remember we're on watch duty. I'm going to scout around the area. Beep the horn twice like Eddie said if you notice anyone, or anything." The girl walked off toward the sound stages nearer to the admin building.

Roger pounded a fist and hoped off the hood, denting it deeper. "Yeah. That's it. Beep the horn twice. Cover your back. Boy, I'm ready. Dukes set, eyes peeled, ears to the ground."

The toon rabbit rounded the corner of a sound stage, arms akimbo. "Why, nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit—Brrrrrhhhh!"

A frying pan clonked Roger on the head. Falling unconscious, he was dragged behind the corner out of sight.

* * *

Unlocking another door with his pic, Eddie crept into the editing room next door to Maroon's office.

All manner of film editing equipment was spread across the room on benches and workstations. Strips of celluloid film hung on hooks, swishing like ghostly tendrils in the Summer breeze wafting through the open windows. Here editors slaved away each and every day for low pay and poor treatment from their money hungry supervisor, who was only a wall away.

Spotting the moviola from yesterday, Eddie dragged the heavy editing machine along with him and quietly swung open the revolving wall into Maroon's office.

The tycoon was lighting a second lamp when the detective tapped him sharply on the shoulder.

Maroon yelped, nearly jumping out of his shoes.

"What's up, Doc?" Eddie quoted.

"Valiant! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?" Maroon faced Eddie.

A sheen of sweat covered the tycoon, drenching his suede vest and pinstriped shirt. His red rimmed eyes and disheveled hair spoke of his exhaustion and anxiousness as if Maroon had expected someone else to show up that night other than Eddie. Overall Maroon was no more beautiful than a mandrill's rear end after a crap.

" _Humph_ , you need a heart before you can have an attack," Eddie remarked.

Maroon seemed eager to be gone already. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the will?"

Reaching inside his coat, Eddie flashed a piece of paper and pushed it back down. The tycoon practically salivated just looking at it.

"I got the will. Question is do you have the way? Cause I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap."

"You've got a lot of brass coming up here by yourself," Maroon said.

Eddie narrowed his eyes. "Who ever said I was alone? You of all people should know that considering you partnered me up."

Maroon snorted. "Sharpe, that mere girl? That amateur? I never paired you two up willingly, Valiant. Someone at LAPD, someone who used my name, sent her down here to meet us. I just went along with the charade."

"Really? Someone using your identity phoned into LAPD saying that I needed a partner," Eddie was mildly surprised. "And here I thought you actually cared that I was lonely."

"Nope, not in the slightest. Bet that girl is a handful."

Eddie shook his head and poured himself a scotch from the drink tray. He sipped. "Actually she's grown on me. Dani Sharpe has proven herself to be a very capable investigator, and she's also one hell of a fighter. She's a perfect candidate for TIU."

"I don't care for the future of the Toon Investigations Unit, you, or Sharpe, or the rabbit. I just want the will." Maroon flipped out his wallet overflowing with bills. "Okay, wiseguy. How much do you want to extort from me this time?"

Eddie grasped the handle of the spray bottle containing a gallon of boos. "Give a guy a chance to calculate," he said, tapping his finger. "Let's see. Your take is three and a half million dollars..."

The tycoon pulled a golden pistol from his vest. "Let me see that will again."

Eddie stopped counting. "I showed it to you already."

"No! I wanna see it now!" Maroon reached into Eddie's coat and pulled out the paper and read it aloud. "How do I love thee. Let me count the ways?"

Scowling, the tycoon crammed Roger's love letter in the detective's belt. "What the hell is this? A joke?!"

"No, this is the joke." Eddie reached around and pointed the spray bottle at Maroon. Pushing the trigger he sprayed a stream of alcohol in the old man's face. Dropping his gun, Maroon gargled and spat, choking back boos when Eddie slugged him hard and knocked him on the floor—it felt good.

He picked up Maroon's discarded gun and aimed it at him. "Get up, lard ass!"

"W-What are ya gonna do to me, Valiant?" Maroon quibbled.

Eddie tugged on the tycoon's tie in a choke hold. He wheeled over the moviola. "I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder! And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out."

"You've got it all wrong. I'm a cartoon maker not a murderer."

"Yeah, those titles don't suit you. You've always been more of a money grubbing pocket pincher than anything else." Eddie fed Maroon's tie into the film wheel of the moviola. "A shame."

He pressed down on the peddle. Whirring, the moviola ate away Maroon's tie, causing the tycoon to gag.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" begged Maroon.

"Then spill the beans you old git. Why did you set me up? What are you hiding!" Eddie demanded, stopping the machine.

"Alright! The truth is I had a chance to sell my studio, but Cloverleaf wouldn't buy my property unless Acme sold them his. The stubborn bastard wouldn't sell, so I was going to blackmail Acme with pictures of him and the rabbit's wife."

 _It all goes back to Cloverleaf_ , Eddie thought. "Blackmail, _huh_? You swear to God?"

Maroon gagged, dripping sweat. "Swear it! I swear it! Blackmail, that's all. I've been around toons all my life. I didn't want to see them conquered, or destroyed!"

The motives behind the case were becoming clearer now. Eddie pressed Maroon for more info. "Toons conquered and destroyed. What do you mean? Why?"

"If I tell ya I'm a dead man. You have no idea whose masterminded—" Maroon turned purple from lack of air as Eddie stamped down on the peddle. The moviola whirred and ate more tie.

"You're a dead man if you don't tell me, Maroon. Fess up."

" _Ack_! Unless Acme's will shows up by midnight tonight Toontown, no, the future of animation is going to be served on a silver platter."

"Served to who...?" Looking up, Eddie spotted a silver sheen reflected in a poster of Pistol Packin' Possum hanging on the wall. The silver sheen flashed revealing the slender barrel of a silvery gun. Letting go of Maroon, Eddie rolled and dived for cover behind a sofa just as two shots rang out and met a target. He heard Maroon utter a strangled, painful cry, then ducked under the sofa as three more shots fired and pelted the sofa with bullets.

Eddie pointed Maroon's gun at the window where the shots originated and fired. Glass shattered as his bullet blew clean through—the shooter was long gone. He glanced over at the grisly sight of Maroon hanging dead from the moviola by his necktie. Two angry bullet holes pierced his back and bled profusely.

The detective began panicking, for he had left his partner and Roger Rabbit alone in the presence of a killer. Abandoning Maroon, gun in hand, Eddie bolted out the office door and back downstairs to where they had parked between the sound stages. Predictably there was no sign of either the junior investigator, or the rabbit.

At the other end of the sound stages came the screech of tires. Eddie watched as a yellow car revved its engine and sped away into the night, and in the driver's seat was suspect number two: Jessica Rabbit.

"Roger! Dani!" Throwing caution to the wind Eddie jumped into his car—the detective noticed the hood was caved in too. Turning the ignition, punching the gas, he chased his quarry through the empty streets of downtown Hollywood. The chase soon led into the hills where Eddie realized exactly where Jessica planned to go.

At the mouth of a tunnel the detective ground the car to a screeching halt. He stared at the ominous tunnel before him, a tunnel that led to a place he dared never drive into again.

"I was always destined to come back one day. _Eh_ , Teddy?" Eddie murmured. "Toontown..."

* * *

 **~30 Minutes Earlier**

Lifting Roger, Jessica Rabbit dumped her comatose husband in the trunk of her yellow car and slammed it shut. She opened the driver door when pounding footsteps echoed between the sound stages caught her attention.

"Hold it, Jessica!" Dani splashed through puddles, drew her pistol, and aimed at the toon.

"Miss Sharpe—Dani, I didn't think you would hear that," Jessica said.

Dani flipped off the safety. "Well the sound of a frying pan landing on someone's head is pretty audible in a quiet place like this. Next time you want to clock someone out do it with more finesse."

"Guess you caught me red handed, sister," Jessica purred, revealing a frying pan from behind her back. "You certainly have sharp ears, Dani Sharpe."

"Save the puns for another time." Dani held the gun held high. "Hand Roger over, or things could get ugly."

It was plainly obvious Jessica had been following them for a while now because Roger was with them.

Striding forward, Jessica grimaced and pointed the frying pan threateningly at Dani. "Nice gun, sister. But you should know toys like that are useless against us toons."

"True. A bullet would never kill you, but then no toon can resist reacting to getting hurt in some comical way," said Dani. "I saw a toon shot in the foot once and he deflated like a balloon, nice way to incapacitate one."

Still on the move, Jessica quirked a brow. "Well, such a reaction depends on the toon."

As Jessica neared, Dani prepared to fire. She stepped back to get her footing right only to slip in a muddy puddle. Slipping and sliding, the girl landed on her bottom in a showery combination of water and grime.

"Yuck!" she cried.

"Serves you right," said the toon woman, then turned grave.

Lowering the frying pan, Jessica's lipsticked grimace faded fast. "Look sister, I'll tell you this like I told Valiant earlier in the office: I'm doing this for my husband's sake. I don't mean Roger, or any of you, harm. Honest."

"Save it for the judge," said Dani, glaring up at the toon woman. "We've been on to you ever since Eddie decided to return to detective work. Next to Maroon, you're a primary suspect. And what kind of wife are you? You turned your back on someone as loyal as Roger to...Play patty cake with a prankster, and your actions have been suspicious ever since."

The girl panted, breathless from her rambling accusation. Jessica stared at her and frowned.

Compared to someone like Maroon, Dani didn't know what to make of Jessica. The temptress was eye candy for thousands of men. Her voice, looks, and body were no laughing matter. Despite how she was drawn and her purpose to entice male viewership Jessica claimed her loyalties and love belonged to Roger. But then why would Jessica turn on him for a guy like Marvin Acme, whom she probably had killed anyways. Nothing added up.

Dani sat in the puddle, unsure what to make of Jessica Rabbit.

In front of the girl, Jessica trembled. "You and Valiant got me all wrong. I love and would do anything for Roger, even go out with another man if it meant keeping my hubby safe, and recently events have forced me to play the part of a hussy. You would do the same for the one you loved."

She clutched the prying pan to her breast pleadingly. "I swear to you, my love is for Roger Rabbit, and Roger alone. No one else on Earth be they human or toon can win my heart. Dani, there is more at play here than a lovers' quarrel and a Tycoon's greed. I came here tonight to help shine some light on this case."

Five gunshots and a man's scream pierced the night's din. The commotion came from the direction of the admin building. Dani and Jessica looked up frightfully at the darkened office building. Neither saw any sign of life, nor movement.

"Valiant!" cried Dani.

Jessica shook her head. "So he makes his move again."

"Who?"

But Jessica did not answer. Instead, she offered her hand to the drenched girl.

"Come with me if you want to live. It's not safe here!" said Jessica.

Dani stared at it the purple gloved hand, unsure what to do. Should she risk finding Eddie? Or trust this woman's word?

Jessica was impatient and patted the frying pan. "Or I can clonk you on the head and chuck you in with Roger. Your choice, sister."

A single gunshot sounded in the distance. Spurred on by the danger, Dani grabbed Jessica's hand and together the two women bolted for Jessica's yellow car. Once inside Jessica started the engine and drove out of Maroon Studios. She drove chaotically, blazing through red lights and stop signs and driving as only a toon could drive.

Shockingly, Dani had felt more safer driving with Benny than this woman.

"Where are we going?" she asked, instinctively buckling up.

Jessica spun the wheel, blowing around a street corner with amazing accuracy. "My apartment. In Toontown. Hopefully if Valiant survived and saw us he'd have the right instinct to follow. Till then you can hang out with me."

Sighing, Dani collapsed into the leather fold of the car seat. She knew Eddie would never allow himself to die at the hands of a random gunman. Still, Dani prayed that the detective had made it out in one piece.

All of a sudden Jessica sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. " _Phew._ You could use a shower, and a new set of clothes."

"Well..." Dani plucked at her bloodied blazer, ruined shirt, and muddy pants. She took a whiff from her armpit and nearly gagged. Since her appointment with Maroon yesterday and all the tumult that followed she had neglected personal hygiene, plus the bag with her belongings was packed away in Eddie's car.

"Don't worry, sister," Jessica reassured her. "You can freshen up at my place."

Dani smiled wanly. "Gee, Jessica... _Uh_...Thanks?"

Arriving in the Hollywood hills, they sped into Toontown Tunnel.


	12. Toontown

Chapter 12: Toontown

Toontown Tunnel loomed before Eddie Valiant like a void toward oblivion. Plenty of other locales sounded preferable to Toontown; Somalia, Iran, The Soviet Union. He'd rather have to go to those horrid places than the loony city that held too many memories, yet Eddie knew he couldn't abandon Roger Rabbit and Dani Sharpe. He needed to overcome his unease and find the missing pair pronto.

First he needed a proper gun appropriate for Toontown.

Eddie chucked the gun he took from Maroon into the bushes and opened his trunk. Taking out a wooden, dusty case he opened the lid. He took out an oversized, toon revolver—it was much heavier than Eddie remembered—and opened a compartment in the case. Six cowboy bullets—the last two a Mexican and indian bullet respectively—yawned and cracked open sleepy eyes.

Upon seeing Eddie, one of the toon bullets fully awoke.

"Eddie Valiant!" The bullet yelled in a western drawl.

Another bullet stirred. "Well you're a sight for sore eyes.

"We ain't seen you for nigh onto five years!" cried a third.

The first bullet asked, "Where've you been?"

"Drunk, but it's good seeing you old timers again," Eddie answered. He flipped open the chamber of the revolver. "Feeling frisky tonight fellas?"

"Yeah!" All the bullets cheered and jumped into the gun.

Upending a bottle of boos, Eddie threw the bottle skyward and fired a test shot. The indian bullet gave a war cry as it fired from the revolver with a bang. Pulling out a tomahawk three times its size the bullet swung and shattered the bottle before bleating another war cry.

Grinning, Eddie jumped back into the car, gunned the gas, and hurtled into the awaiting tunnel. At the end of the tunnel red curtains swung open and a toonish melody bounced off the tunnel walls.

"Here goes nothing," Eddie gulped.

Driving through the curtains Eddie suddenly found himself driving along a dirt road into a toonish countryside. A goofy sun popped above the horizon followed by hundreds of toons both familiar and new celebrating across golden fields of sunshine dotted with dancing trees. All at once, as if they had been expecting Eddie's arrival, the toons broke out into song, and it was the corniest song Eddie had ever heard.

The song was actually a perfect fit for the uptight detective.

 _Smile Darn ya smile._

 _You know this old world_

 _is a great world after all._

 _Smile Darn ya smile_

 _And right away_

 _watch Lady Luck_

 _pay you a call._

 _Things are never black_

 _as they are painted._

 _Time for you and joy_

 _to get acquainted._

 _Make life worthwhile._

 _So, smile, darn you smile!_

Three toon hummingbirds zipped around Eddie's head.

"Hi Eddie!" they chirped and flew off. "Bye Eddie, gotta find Uncle Remus!"

Eddie had never met the hummingbirds before, nor did he know anyone named Remus. He turned in his seat, taking his attention off the road. "How the hell do you know my name—"

The countryside faded in a swirling cloud of dust, then the car lurched to a slamming halt. Stars danced at the forefront of Eddie's vision as his head struck the steering wheel. Eddie recovered fast and stepped foot onto a chaotic Toontown street. A speeding fire engine on its way to a house fire down the street nearly mowed him over. Dizzy, Eddie stumbled onto the sidewalk far from the chaotic traffic zipping by. He inspected the totaled car, which had smashed into a fire hydrant.

"And I just got it out of the shop." Eddie gazed around at the Toontown neighborhood in all its wackiness. "I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore."

Abandoning the car, Eddie retrieved his and Dani's bags and headed to the downtown district where toon-eyed skyscrapers loomed over the surrounding toonscape. Along the way he passed more toons who oddly enough knew his name. Apparently even after years of absence no toon in Toontown had ever forgotten Valiant and Valiant Private Eyes.

Nearing downtown Eddie's eyes were drawn to an hourglass figure reflected behind a curtained window on the highest floor of a luxury suite. There could only be one toon with a body drawn so alluringly.

"Found ya, babe."

The suite was one of the taller skyscrapers in downtown Toontown, and the detective had no issues locating it. Eddie entered the suite through the main lobby and took a haphazard elevator ride to the very top courtesy of Droopy Dog. He located the room, crouched, and peeked through the keyhole at a woman changing, a woman the detective assumed could only be Jessica Rabbit.

Without hesitation Eddie opened the door. All the color drained from his face as "Jessica" set her sights on him.

"A man!" the wannabe Jessica Rabbit hag screamed excitedly.

Eddie immediately slammed the door and bolted as the hag rushed at him like a linebacker, her grotesque lips pumping at jackhammer speed. The hag easily ripped the door off its hinges with a kick. She ran after Eddie down the hallway cluttered with the toon baggage of guests. Eddie quickened his pace, but the hag was relentless.

" _Yoo hoo_! Lover boy! Kiss Lena Hyena!" she cooed sickeningly.

Ignoring an out of order sign, Eddie took his chance and ran into men's restroom to escape Lena's advances. A gale force wind blew through the bathroom, which Eddie suddenly realized had no walls or floor. Only open air separated him from infinity. Within seconds the detective screamed and grabbed his fedora.

"Arrrrggghh! Oh no! Aaarrrgghh!"

Air and clouds rushed past the detective as he plummeted to his death. His fingers desperately reached to grab anything, but they only grasped air. The brick edifice of the skyscraper hurtled by in a blur of colors. Two toon skydivers glided up alongside Eddie, both of whom the detective recognized as none other than Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse.

Bugs was chewing a carrot. "Eh, what's up Doc? Jumping without a parachute? Kinda dangerous ain't it?"

"No shit!" Eddie screamed.

"Yeah. _Ha_! If you didn't know you could get killed base jumping without a chute, " Mickey chuckled, looking uncomfortably at the human detective.

"Either of you got a spare?"

Mickey jerked a thumb at Bugs. " _Er_ , Bugs does."

"Really? Can I use it?" Eddie asked, desperate.

"Sure, but I don't think you want it," Bugs sang.

"I do! I do! Give it to me!" Eddie pleaded.

Mickey seemed a bit more sympathetic. "Gee. _Ha ha_. Better let him have it, Bugs."

Bugs reached behind his back and handed the detective a backpack. "Okay, Doc. Whatever you say. Here's the spare."

"Thank you," Eddie breathed as Bugs and Mickey deployed their shoots. He looked for a ripcord—there wasn't one. Unzipping the backpack, he pulled out a spare tire.

Eddie frowned. "Toons and their jokes—Aaaaarrrgghh!"

Safely floating, Mickey and Bugs watched as the detective dropped like a log toward the hard pavement below.

Mickey sighed. " _Ah_. Poor fella, that's going to hurt. Maybe you shouldn't have trolled him, Bugs."

"Yeah. Ain't I a stinker?" joked Bugs, snapping off a chunk of carrot.

* * *

At the bathroom sink Dani wrung excess water from a washcloth. She draped the warm cloth over her face and neck and scrubbed vigorously, washing away two days worth of filth. Rinsing the washcloth Dani rolled up her sleeves and scrubbed her arms twice as hard.

Cleaning up this way paled in comparison to a full on shower, though with little time before midnight remaining a dampened washcloth sufficed.

Dani finished and turned off the bathroom light. In the hallway she bumped into Jessica.

"Oh, Dani. I didn't know you were done cleaning," said Jessica. "Here. Get changed quick."

" _Huh_?" Dani uttered, then noticed the dress folded in Jessica's arms.

The toon songstress held out a red, backless dress similar to the swanky one she always wore. Dani touched the material thinking it would feel chalky like most toon clothing; the material was smooth as satin.

"It's probably not your style, but you shouldn't go running around in wet clothing all night," said Jessica.

True. The dress looked a bit too flashy for Dani's tastes. Because of her line of work, Dani rarely wore dresses. She actually preferred casual business attire, but she knew Jessica was right.

"Hopefully Eddie has the sense to grab my bag. It has all my other things," Dani replied.

When they escaped Maroon Studios they had spotted Eddie tailing them in his car, then at Toontown Tunnel the detective had grounded to a halt, too petrified to go any further. Jessica never bothered stopping and sped straight into the heart of Toontown to a her personal suite downtown. They ended up leaving Roger comatose in trunk as they felt it was safer for him to stay hidden.

Jessica nodded. "Hopefully. Lets get you dressed."

The songtress pulled the junior detective into the bedroom. Behind a folding screen, Jessica helped Dani out of her clothing. Holding out the dress, Dani slipped it on thinking it wouldn't fit at all—both womens' measurements were way off—and gasped as Jessica's dress conformed tightly to her own figure. Jessica then handed her a pair of silken, purple gloves and rear-lifting high heels to wear. Lastly, Dani strapped her pistol and knife around her bare leg exposed by the high slit of the skirt.

Looking at herself in a mirror, Dani felt ultra exposed. The thin material of the dress generously exposed an embarrassingly good amount of skin and curves, not to mention the heels were already killing her feet.

Jessica threw Dani's old clothes into a hamper, picked up a brush, and ran it through the girl's short brown hair. "You look beautiful. If we had more time I'd love to do your makeup, Dani."

Dani's face blazed pink. "Sure...I guess."

Lastly, Jessica took out what Dani recognized as a metal bear trap from an underwear drawer. "You might need this on your person too. Things could get a bit dicey from here on out."

"And where exactly does that go?" Dani asked uncomfortably.

Smiling, the songstress pointed at her generous cleavage causing Dani's blush to deepen to magenta.

"I'll help with yours," Jessica offered.

While Jessica prepared Dani's bear trap the girl looked along the walls at several pictures of Roger and Jessica. Most of the pictures depicted the Rabbits at a vacation spot, or at one of their hangouts around Los Angeles. One thing the pictures revealed was just how close the couple actually was to each other. It was sweetly sickening.

The very love pictured in the frames contradicted the whole love affair between Jessica and Marvin Acme. They had been so wrong about Jessica Rabbit's loyalties.

"You really do love Roger," said Dani.

Jessica tugged up the front of Dani's dress. She followed the girl's gaze to the pictures. "Very much, with all my heart."

Dani hung her head. "I'm sorry. We were so caught up in the case that we only considered our suspects as guilty. Thinking about it, Maroon was probably just an innocent bystander. Another pawn like you, Acme, and Roger. Hell, me and Eddie were pawns too. I see that now."

The toon songtress was silent, listening.

"I apologize for treating you like scum, Jessica. All I want is for you and Roger to be together again."

Without hesitation, Jessica quickly embraced the girl and looked her in the eye. "You did bring Roger and me together," she said. "Thank you...Inspector Sharpe."

At first Dani didn't know how to respond. She thought Jessica hated her. Relaxing, she nodded curtly.

"Pleasure to be of service, Mrs. Rabbit."

The women left the bedroom, ready to get back to the car and go wherever it was Jessica needed to go. They passed the living room when a man dropped like a stone past a window, screaming his head off as he fell from the building's heights. Dani went to the window and looked out.

"Jessica. I think that was Eddie!" she gasped.

The songtress came over. "Are you sure? Any poor fool could have walked into the trap."

"What trap?"

Outside Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse drifted safely past on parachutes.

" _Oh, ha ha_ , hey there Jessica." Mickey waved.

" _Eh_ , what's up, toots?" Bugs said. "How's Roger? I heard he's in serious dodo."

Both rabbits were occasional drinking buddies.

"He's been better bugs, but seriously, do you know who fell?" Jessica asked.

Mickey shrugged. " _Ha_. Don't know the poor guy's name but he was kinda chunky and hairy. Smelled liked beer."

Bugs burped, his breath smelling like raw carrots. "I could go for a beer. Carrot beer."

"That's definitely Eddie Valiant. Thanks you two." Jessica blew the mouse and rabbit flying kisses. She turned to Dani. "Don't worry about Valiant, Dani, he'll be fine. Trust me."

Nevertheless Dani rushed to the front door, nearly tripping on her new, pointy heels. As Mickey and Bugs, swooning, drifted away on the winds, Jessica hurried after the girl. They strode to the elevator where Droopy waited to take them down to the lobby. Once at the lobby a haggish toon woman blazed past Dani and Jessica down the stairs and out the door, pounding hearts flying in her wake.

The woman looked almost identical to Jessica Rabbit only thinner, loonier, creepier, and lacking any smidgen of sex appeal that the real Jessica radiated. She was just plain fugly.

"Who was that?" Dani asked.

Jessica snorted. "Lena Hyena. My wannabe cousin who likes to lure men to the top floor. She's good for keeping the paparazzi and the occasional peeping tom off my scent...Unfortunately she's after Valiant."

Dani made a face. "Nasty."

"Very nasty," agreed Jessica, then looked at Dani's holstered pistol. "Let me borrow your pistol, Dani. I need it for something."

Confused, Dani was hesitant at first, but she trusted Jessica now. She handed over the weapon. "What are you doing?"

Jessica pointed the pistol skyward, testing her aim. "Trying to save your partner."

* * *

All toons could bounce back alive if they fell to their deaths. Humans? Not so much.

As the ground drew closer Eddie braced himself for the inevitable end. Saving him from certain death, Lena Hyena caught Eddie in her scrawny arms only to pull him into an invasive hug. Eddie practically felt his face being sucked off as the hag planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"My man!" Lena drooled.

Eddie resisted an urge to puke and broke from Lena's embrace. Down the street he sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him. Behind Eddie the lunatic hag pursued the detective, salivating at the mouth like a feral beast in heat.

"Come to Lena!"

Skidding to a stop in the middle of the street, Eddie lifted the lane divider off the asphalt. He ripped it apart—it felt like toilet paper—and threw the painted line at a brick wall. Eddie leaped back and watched as Lena Hyena stupidly stampeded, following the line directly to its end.

" _Offf_!" the hag cried as she plowed into the wall and flattened like a grotesque pancake.

Eddie grinned; the trick never got old.

"Toons. Gets em every time."

In a nearby alleyway a flicker of a shadow caught Eddie's eye. He swore someone had been observing his escape from Lena Hyena. Suspicious, Eddie pulled out his revolver and entered the alley to investigate. He knew you could never be too careful in Toontown.

Mounds of abandoned junk and overflowing garbage cans cluttered the alley, reminding the detective of the alley outside the Ink and Paint Club. Only this alley was darker. Steam vented out of grates, stinking with the refuse of Toontown's sewers. Overhead the watchful eyes of living toon buildings watched Eddie's every movement.

Eddie shook his head. There was never a moment of privacy in Toontown.

"Valiant."

Reaching for the sky, Eddie turned to come face to face with Jessica Rabbit—he was not surprised. The songtress pointed a pistol at his face.

"Always knew I'd get it in Toontown," said Eddie, "but not from you."

A shadow loomed over the unsuspecting detective.

"No! Behind you!"

Eddie closed his eyes as Jessica took her shot. Instead of hitting him, Eddie felt the bullet whiz past his face and strike metal. Someone yelled in pain and dropped a slender barreled revolver at Eddie's feet.

Eddie aimed his revolver at Jessica. "Drop it lady."

"I just saved your life and you still don't trust me? Do you even recognize your brother's own gun?" Jessica jutted a hip. "Probably not?"

She showed Eddie the pistol with Teddy Valiant's initials inscribed on the handle.

"But that's the gun I gave-"

"And I bet your eyes don't even recognize this one either?" Jessica tapped the slender revolver at their feet with the tip of her heel. "This is the very gun that killed R.K. Maroon tonight...and Doom pulled the trigger."

"D-Doom? Judge Doom?" Eddie stuttered.

Jessica shook her head. "Judge? Doom is no judge. I tailed him to the studio, but I was too late to stop him."

Doom, who'd been nursing his hand in a dumpster, leaped out and ran away from Eddie and Jessica. "That's right, Valiant! I'll never be thwarted! You're all dead and doomed!"

The detective spun about face, bringing his revolver to bare. "Doom!"

He fired three shots that sped after Doom down the alley, but then the judge turned right at a corner and disappeared from sight. Reaching a fork in the road, the cowboy bullets paused wondering which way Doom had escaped, then decided to got left.

Facepalming, Eddie tossed his revolver aside. "Dum dums."

"Well look who we have here. Eddie Valiant, a survivor of bullets, sex-starved toons, three hundred foot drops, and more bullets," Dani Sharpe announced, entering the alley.

Relief flooded Eddie. "Same to you, Sharpe. I was worried."

They hugged.

Eddie pulled away and for the first time noticed the girl's form fitting dress. "Why are you wearing that? Looks good on you."

" _Uh_ , thanks? My clothes were a mess, so I had no other choice than to borrow from Jessica's wardrobe," said Dani, beat red. "Did you bring my things?"

"Right here." Eddie tossed Dani her travel bag that he'd been carrying.

Dani checked the contents; clean clothes and extra boots. "Thank God."

"Where's Roger?" Eddie asked.

Dani shook her head. "Don't worry he's safe. Jessica saw to his safety, and we can trust her, Valiant."

Jessica handed Dani back Teddy's pistol with a thank you. "We have to get going and shut down one of Doom's operations," she said. "Midnight is coming fast and there's little time left to act."

The three of them headed out of the alleyway.

"Go where? What's doom got planned?" Eddie demanded. The detective still held little trust for Jessica. Worse he could hardly believe that Doom was the case's true mastermind, the culprit who was manipulating everything from the shadows.

Jessica regarded the bright yellow toon sky and the sunset glinting upon the the Toontown skyscrapers.

"Doomsday," the songtress answered.

* * *

NOTE: I only plan 3 more chapters. So it's coming to an end soon. Thanks for reading.


	13. Escape from Toontown

Chapter 13: Escape from Toontown

Mesmerized, the gaggle of toons could hardly take their eyes off Jessica Rabbit. They dropped the crates they had been carrying onto a flatbed truck just to ogle her. Even Wheezy whose only love was smoking stood mesmerized, his cigar hanging limply out of his gaping mouth. Jessica strutted her stuff and hummed a swanky tune, distracting the goons and leading them away from the crates filled with Soviet grade missiles. Once or twice she even flashed Wheezy and the goons who drooled rivers in excitement.

Dani Sharpe and Eddie Valiant, hidden behind the warehouse doors, waited for their chance to strike.

"Imagine if that weasel Greasy were here right now and saw this," said Eddie, peering around the garage door. He was trying to focus on the mission at hand, though sometimes Dani caught his eyes straying to Jessica's sexy act.

Dani stuck out her tongue. "Gross. I don't even want to imagine it."

" _Ha ha_. You could have joined in," Eddie snickered. The detective just had to say it.

"The art of seduction really isn't my forte, and stop thinking about that perv! We're here to stop Doom." Dani peeked at Doom's newest goons. She frowned. "So those guys used to be human?"

Eddie nodded. "Doom slipped them something illegal called Toon Tonic. Supposedly it turns humans into toons and vice versa. Nasty stuff."

"And he chose Soviet arms dealers as his new flunkies," Dani finished.

The Clown Stars—formerly the Red Stars—looked like muscular, toonified clowns wearing army fatigues. Their once humans faces were pulled back in perpetually terrifying grins with red noses. Once dark hair had transitioned to intense shades of red, yellow, and blue. Their skin glowed with a healthy sheen of paint and makeup. Above all the Clown Stars were brutally obedient to Doom.

The very nature of toonification sounded appalling. Such a forced transformation upon the arms dealers would have been painful to watch, that and Greasy flipping his shit.

In the warehouse Jessica started leading Wheezy and the Clown Stars away from their precious cargo. Swinging her hips to beat of her hum, Jessica strutted deeper into the warehouse. The sounds of brutish hoots and hollers could be heard bouncing off the corrugated walls.

Picking up gas canisters the partners ran inside and doused the crates with gallons of gasoline. Eddie reached into his pants pocket for the matchbox Jessica had given him; he came up empty handed. The detective turned out all his pockets and still found no matchbox whatsoever.

"Crap," Eddie spat, patting his trench coat. "I dropped the matchbox somewhere along the way."

"Don't worry, Valiant. I've got you covered."

Drawing her pistol, Dani shot the drenched missile crates. A single bullet sparked a bonfire and soon the entire loading zone was ablaze with firelight. She spun the pistol on her fingertip, holstered it, and watched her handy work play out with Eddie.

Within crates the missiles burned and melted under the intense heat of the flames.

The partners backed away from the bonfire.

"That ends Doomsday. I only wonder what Doom had planned," said Eddie, lowering the brim of his fedora.

"No kidding." Dani crossed her arms. "Not even Jessica found out what Doom's master plan is. Besides a takeover of Toontown he has a larger agenda. But what?"

Even now, Dani still wrestled with that fact that Judge Doom was their true adversary; a false man of Toontown justice. She felt stupid for never once suspecting Doom. Unjustly dipping toons, the Toon Patrol's relentless search for Roger Rabbit and the will, and his extreme creepiness level were clear indicators all along that Doom was working behind the scenes to undermine Tootown. Dani and Eddie had been so focused on busting Doom's pawns, R.K. Maroon and Jessica Rabbit, that they had failed looking at the larger picture.

The ghoulish judge had led the partners around by their noses. Hook, line, and sinker.

Dani knew Eddie felt the same way.

After their short reunion, Jessica Rabbit revealed to them about her undercover work concerning Doom. Played as a pawn, the songtress made it a mission to uncover Doom's master plan. Acting alone, Jessica had uncovered the judge's false front as the CEO and stockholder of Cloverleaf, his underhanded dealings with arms dealers, and his quiet acquisition of Maroon Studios and Acme. On occasion Jessica crossed paths with the Toon Patrol. Her confrontations with the meddling weasals had prevented her from uncovering the reason why Doom wanted Toontown and why he needed missiles. Worse, Jessica had found next to nothing about Doom himself. The judge was no judge, that much was clear, but the man's origins lay shrouded in mystery. Creepy and bizarre, Jessica assumed that Doom was an alien, or an escaped circus freak with an obsession with black clothing and thick glasses.

"RUN!"

From the back of the warehouse Jessica ran to the loading zone, her dress hanging askew.

Eddie met the songtress halfway. "What happened back there?"

"They got way too handsy!" Jessica panted.

Dani shook her head. "Guess you shouldn't have shown them your stuff."

Angry grunts and a spray of bullets erupted from the depths of the warehouse. Wheezy appeared around the corner, firing off his tommy gun. He pointed at the partners and Jessica. In a burst of sheet metal the warehouse walls caved in as the Clown Stars stampeded toward them. Their eyes blazed red, yellow, and white and they foamed at the mouths with ferocious displeasure.

Dani stood her ground and desperately fired upon the raging Clown Stars. Her bullets bounced uselessly off their rubberized skin. Some even ricocheted back at her. Embarrassed, Dani flashed a grin at Eddie and Jessica.

"Just like Luffy," she said.

Wheezy jumped onto the back of one of the Clown Stars. "Get them!" the weasel hacked and fired off his gun.

Together the trio bolted out of the warehouse and made for the open streets of Toontown as a hacking Wheezy and the Clown Stars pursued. Behind them the fire leaped to the rafters of the warehouse, washing the entire structure with light. By now night had descended. Only the light of the snoozing toon moon and the hazy street lamps illuminated their escape.

"Stupid heels!" Dani yelled, her ankles nearly twisting.

Twice Dani came close to tumbling face first into the pavement. The long skirt of her borrowed dress kept tangling up her legs and her high heels made running a pain. She envied Jessica. Racked and stacked as she was Jessica ran with ease of a cheetah in dress and heels.

Between the women Eddie huffed and puffed, sweating like a hog.

Soon the sounds of Wheezy and his army-clown entourage faded as the distance between the two groups lengthened. Dani could no longer see the raging toons anywhere on the deserted streets when they arrived back at the towering suite exhausted. She rifled through her travel bag for her wristwatch to check the time when Jessica started panicking.

"Oh no!" Jessica gasped. Where's my car? Where's Roger? They're missing!"

Several streets away Dani heard tires swerving around corners and the wail of a familiar police siren. "And we have company," she said.

"Roger? He was in your car, Jessica," Eddie replied, far too winded to comprehend anything.

Jessica rolled her eyes. " _Uh_ , yes I know that, Valiant. I hit him on the head with a frying pan and we kept him in the trunk, so he wouldn't get hurt."

"You think Roger drove off on his own?" Jessica turned to Dani.

Dani nodded. "It's the only logical answer. No one else knew where we stashed Roger except us...and Roger." She groaned. "Your husband stole our only ride out of here"

"My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel," Jessica said, worried.

"A better lover than a driver, _huh_?" Dani quipped.

Jessica poked the girl in the ribs. "You'd better believe it, sister."

Eddie was finally catching his breath. "We can't take my car either. It's wrecked, or so I think."

"Take cover!" Dani yelled as a black van fishtailed at the end of the block and hurtled toward them at break neck speed. She dived for cover behind a mailbox as Eddie and Jessica took refuge under the relative safety of a bench.

The Toon Patrol van grounded to a halt across the street. A side door slid open and gunfire erupted as the weasels open fired upon their helpless victims. Sandwiched between the bricked suite and the van and pacified by a hailstorm of bullets, the partners and Jessica had nowhere to escape. They were virtually stuck with no way to fight back.

Above Dani bullets pinged off the building, showering her with flakes of brick dust. She tried covering her ears to cancel out the earsplitting gunfire, then stopped when the hailstorm ceased. Carefully, Dani peered over the top of the mailbox and saw Smarty, finally wearing a zoot suit, jump out of the van.

"I think we proved our point," said the lead weasel, toting a machine gun. "Come on, brothers! The Boss wants her alive!"

Psycho, Stupid, and Greasy jumped out of the van and crossed the street with their brother. All four weasels were armed to the teeth with revolvers and rifles.

"Duh, what about Wheezy?" Stupid asked.

Smarty groaned. "We'll pick up the ashtray later. Right not we have a pretty present to deliver."

Determined to face what ever Doom wanted with her, Dani stood up from her hiding spot. She locked eyes with the weasels. Smarty and his brothers confronted the girl with the exception of Greasy who stamped his feet and howled at the moon like no weasel could. Dani could only retch.

Smarty, Stupid, and Psycho covered their ears.

"Bonito! That dress. Those curves. Muy sexooo!" Greasy exploded, transfixed by the girl. He lost it upon seeing Jessica, who came out of hiding and rejoined Dani's side. Howling louder than a hurricane, he dropped his gun, darted back into the van, and slid the door shut with a bang. Inside, the weasel's Spanish cries intensified as the van began rocking and rolling with his movement.

" _Bleh_! I'll never know what Greasy sees in humans," Smarty spat and pointed his gun at Dani. "Alright, Sharpe get in the van."

"Not with Greasy I won't," Dani countered.

Jessica winked at her. "Nicely put, Dani."

Stupid and Psycho flanked Smarty, ready to act at a moment's notice.

"I said get in the van," Smarty demanded.

Dani was stalwart."I told you before I'm not interested in what Doom has to offer. We know what your boss is up too."

Impatient, Smarty snapped his fingers. Stupid and Psycho rushed Dani. Eddie jumped in between them.

"Don't you touch my partner!" Eddie yelled.

The detective punched Stupid, giving the dumb weasel a black eye. He sent Psycho rolling own the street with a well placed kick to the snout. Hissing, Smarty aimed his rifle straight at Eddie.

 _We need a ride pronto!_ Without thinking Dani jerked her thumb out.

As promised Benny appeared. Headlights ablaze, the cab rumbled down the road and ran over Smarty, reducing the weasel to a hairy pancake. Swerving around he finished up the job by running over Stupid. The toon cab screeched to a stop and his doors opened for the trio.

"One of you called a cab, or what?" Benny asked. The cab held open a door graciously for Dani and Jessica. " _Hubba hubba hubba_. Allow me madam moiselles."

Eddie squeezed into the driver's side. "Step on it, Benny! Get us out of Toontown!" he yelled, grabbing the steering wheel.

"You only had to tell me once, Valiant!" Benny replied. "I hate roadkill more than anyone else, especially the weasely kind."

In no time at all they were speeding out of downtown and back across the countryside into Toontown Tunnel.

Eyes on the road, Eddie glanced at Jessica. "So how long have you known it was Doom?"

"Before poor Marvin Acme was killed he confided in me that Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown and he wouldn't stop at anything," Jessica answered.

"So he gave you the will for safe keeping."

"That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope there was only a blank piece of paper inside."

" _Huh_! A joker till the end."

Benny called up to them. "So where to from here? My meter's running."

Jessica leaned over the dashboard. "Acme Factory, that's where it will go down tonight." She covered her heart, close to weeping. "I hope Roger is there. I'm so worried about him."

"Just wondering, Jessica. What do you see in that rabbit?" Dani asked next to the songtress.

Jessica smiled. "He makes me laugh."

As Benny sped up they blazed out of Toontown Tunnel and found themselves in the arid hills outside Hollywood. Only one of them saw the black car and the black figure lying in wait along the roadside.

Judge Doom kicked a barrel of Dip. The barrel's contents cascaded over the road in front of Benny's path.

" _Aaaaaaaaahhhhh_! I've been dipped!" the cab uttered.

Unable to avoid it, Benny drove straight through the green Dip. Benny and his passengers spun out of control. Sizzling, the acidic soup ate through the toon cab's tires, leaving a trial of white paint in his wake. The wild ride ended when Benny crashed into a lamppost and was knocked out cold. Ejected from their seats, Eddie landed in the dirt on his side, the impact crushing the air out of his lungs, while Jessica's dress fanned out and she landed softly.

The junior investigator was nowhere to be seen.

" _Tsk tsk tsk_. What an unfortunate accident," said Doom annoyingly, looming over them like an obsidian statue. "Nothing more treacherous than a slippery road and especially when driving in a maniacal Toon vehicle."

Eddie sighed, defeated. "What ever you say, Doom."

Out of the tunnel the Toon Patrol van reappeared and stopped along the roadside. Smarty, a tire streak across his new zoot suit, was the first out followed by Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid, who was covered in bandages. Greasy laid spread eagle inside the van doing something too unspeakable for Doom to even consider asking about.

"Sorry we're late Boss, the cab flattened us and we had to go pick up Wheezy...and I don't think you want to know about Greasy," said Smarty, fixing his suit. "Where's Sharpe?"

Doom shook his head. "Never mind her for now. Put Mr. Valiant and Mrs. Rabbit in my car." He grinned wickedly at the pair. "I think they'll enjoy attending the ribbon cutting at the Acme factory...I just hope Miss Sharpe isn't late."

* * *

Hidden from plain sight, Dani watched from the bushes as the weasels loaded Eddie and Jessica into Doom's menacing car. Within seconds they all drove off. She skirted around the bubbling dip to go check on Benny, who was just coming too.

Suddenly a totaled car—Eddie's blue car—with a missing roof blazed out of Toontown Tunnel and stopped in front of the girl and cab.

"Benny! Dani! Is that you?" the driver called.

"No! It's Shirley Temple!" Benny limped over on his wheels. " _Aah! Ooh! Eee!_ "

Dani turned to the driver of the car. "Roger!"

The rabbit pounded his chest. "The one and only."

He looked around at all the Dip. "Jumping Jeepers. What happened? Why did I wake up in a trunk? Where's Eddie? I hope he's not mad that I jacked his car because I used it to look all over Toontown for you guys after trashing Jessica's. Why are you dressed like my wife, Dani?"

"Forget all that, Roger! Doom grabbed your wife and Valiant and took them to the Acme factory. The end!" Benny yelled. The cab looked down at Dani. "You jumped?"

"At the last second. I spotted Doom before he got the drop on us," said Dani.

Roger jumped in the car seat. "Come on. We gotta get going before it's too late. Get in! Get in!"

"Hold your horses, Roger! Let me get changed first." Dani plucked at her borrowed dress. "You can't even run properly dressed like a harlot."

Hefting her travel bag, Dani walked back into the concealment of the bushes. She discarded the red dress and gloves, then redressed in her usual black blazer and pants and a white undershirt. She ditched the high heels and tied on her second pair of low heeled boots. She loaded a new magazine into her pistol and folded her knife back into her right boot.

"Back in business" Dani said happily and climbed into the car with Roger.

"Move over, Roger. You've done enough driving for one night." Benny squeezed his bulk in after Dani and pushed Roger aside so he could drive.

A living cab driving a wrecked car alongside a rabbit and a gun toting girl...It was a weird sight indeed.

"Next stop: Acme Factory," said Benny and turned on his headlights.

Closing her eyes, Dani leaned back and let the cool wind carry her off to sleep. Once they reached the factory it would be do or doom, and Dani wanted all the sleep she could get before they stood against the doom.


	14. Acme Infiltration

Chapter 14: Acme Infiltration

Half an hour remained until midnight when the Toon Patrol struck a hole in the brick wall of the Acme Factory. Dazzling light shined through like a beacon within a drab landscape of brick and mortar.

Surveying the scene, Doom came down on an lift.

Stupid raised his shovel. " _Uh,_ Toontown's on the other side of the wall, Boss."

Doom nodded. "Excellent."

Psycho danced on his tiptoes, swinging a pickax and singing. " _Hehehe_! _Toontown, Toontown, Toontown is going down!"_

Wheezy ducked under his psycho brother's deadly swings.

"Whose idea was it to give Psycho the pickax!? Give me that!" Wheezy wheezed and grabbed the pick from Psycho.

"Toons." Eddie shook his head at the weasels' antics. Alongside Jessica, Smarty and Greasy held him at gunpoint. They'd been brought into the factory and forced to watch the weasels dig their way to Toontown on the other side of the factory. Doom had retired upstairs to prepare and apparently have a drink.

Now Doom was back and ready for action.

"You see, Mr. Valiant?" Doom said approaching the detective. "The successful conclusion of this case draws a curtain for my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring."

"Oh, really? I know all about retirement," remarked Eddie. "No income. No way to pay the bills. Car's always in the shop. Not a pretty picture."

"Did I say I was retiring from work? No." Doom tapped his cane. "I am taking on a new role in the private sector.

Jessica stepped forward. "That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries by any chance?"

Doom grinned, full of himself. "You're looking at the sole stock holder, but you probably already discovered that my dear."

In the far corner of the Acme Factory loomed a giant object sat covered by a canvas tarp. Doom went up to the machine and pulled back the flap of the tarp to reveal a nozzle. His grin widened as he turned a knob. Thick, green juices flowed out of the nozzle and into a drip pan on the ground.

"Can you guess what this is?" Doom asked.

"Your scientific, toon-killing vomit you pride yourself over?" Eddie quipped with a smirk.

The judge glowered. "No..."

Around them the weasels guffawed, but were silenced by a stern glare from Doom.

Jessica screeched like a dramatic banshee. "Oh my God it's Dippp!"

"No need to freak out, Jessica. You saw some earlier too," said Eddie.

"That's right my dear. Enough to dip Toontown of the face off the Earth if I so choose!" Doom shouted. "And I'll dunk you in it if you refuse to submit to my will."

Like a car show host, Doom yanked back the tarp with a flourish of showy extravagance. An ugly, iron cauldron of bubbling Dip sat bolted to what looked like a dilapidated Los Angeles street sweeper. What was once a water cannon sat suspended above the vehicle by a hydraulic arm. Tubes transporting Dip ran between the cauldron and the cannon. Empty missile tubes lined the side of the sweeper.

All the while Doom marveled his creation, his baby.

"So ugly," Eddie mumbled.

The judge faced them anew, a misplaced grin plastered on his gaunt mug. " _Doombringer._ A vehicle of my own design. 5000 Gallons of heated Dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toontown could be erased in a matter of minutes if I so choose. I bought out the Red Car so I could transport the parts and assemble _Doombringer_ without the authorities knowing."

Doom tapped the missile tubes with his cane. "My plans would have extended beyond Toontown tonight if you had not sabotaged my Soviet missiles."

According to Wheezy the Clown Stars had reverted back to the Red Stars after the Toon Tonic Doom slipped them wore off unexpectedly. Wheezy had barely escaped Viktor Mirovich and his vengeful arms dealers with his life.

" _Humph._ That ugly machine is what your so prod of? Get a life, Doom," Eddie quipped mockingly. "And _Doombringer_? The name alone just screams narcissism."

"Shut up, Valiant! I thought the name was cool. It's my child and I can name it whatever I want!" Doom yelped, a hint of hurt in his voice.

Jessica stood defiantly before the whining judge. "And just what do you want with Toontown? What game are you playing? We want to know," she demanded.

Judge Doom's face fell as he stared gravely at the Jessica and Eddie. "Dominion. I yearn for dominion over toonkind. Too long has the gaggle of obnoxious, naive, and colorful fools been given free reign. Too long have people sat idly by and let toons get their way."

He clenched a fist. "I will subjugate them under my iron will, or so help me I will flood the very streets with Dip!"

"Animation Domination, _eh_?" Eddie quipped again, then whispered to Jessica. "At least his goal for seizing Toontown isn't something lame like land development for some paved road, or what not."

Jessica shrugged. "Who knows where that plot would've led if we somehow failed to stop him..." She looked back at Doom. "So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? To dominate toonkind? That's crazy, Doom! Us toons never did anything to harm you humans—besides that one whack job who killed Teddy Valiant."

"And don't forget those missiles you ordered through Cloverleaf funds. What was your plan there?" Eddie added, glossing over Jessica's last line.

It was then that Doom gazed out a factory window. His gaze extended beyond Maroon Studios, beyond Hollywood, beyond the country itself.

"You lack vision," Doom whispered. "American animation is just the beginning. In other studios around the world new toons are being drawn to life every day. We have seen it for ourselves; Teletoons in Canada and European animation houses springing up like jack rabbits."

"And in the east as well where a serious form of animation is on the rise...something they call anime. Lastly I have sensed the future where toons will no longer be brought to life by hand, but by machines. Rendered into life as three dimensional beings of data. It is a nightmare I wish to avert."

Eddie crossed his arms. "In other words you wanted to threaten other animation studios and toons with missiles tipped with Dip warheads. All so you could control them too."

Doom nodded. "Yes, and my God it would have been beautiful ruling all animation. For now my rule will be centered in the states...But all I need to legalize my rule is Acme's will!

The judge pointed at the captives. "Search them for it!"

"With pleasure, Boss!" Smarty sneered.

Psycho began dancing again. " _He_! Do it! _Hehe_!"

The Toon Patrol lowered their weapons and surrounded Eddie and Jessica. Beneath them the floor rumbled.

* * *

"Benny. You go for the cops. I'm going to save my wife." Roger held a gun he had bought in Toontown just in case. With shaking hands he pointed it at Benny.

Benny recoiled, shooing the Rabbit away with a fender. "Be careful with that gun, this ain't no cartoon you know. Good luck guys—you're gonna need it."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Dani sighed.

"This is no way to make a living," Benny muttered as he drove away in Eddie's car.

They watched the toon cab vanish down the road toward downtown Los Angeles where Benny would contact Santino at LAPD. Dani turned to Acme Factory with nothing else besides her wits and Roger Rabbit as back up. Rested, the junior investigator was ready for anything.

"This time I'll watch your back, Roger. It won't be like earlier where you were dumped into a trunk," she said. "You ready to see Jessica again?"

Roger hopped up, clicking his clodhoppers. "Oh boy am I! Jessica my love I'm coming for you! Lead on, Dani!"

The main factory doors were locked tight, impregnable from any outside intrusion. Even if the doors were accessible they would be guarded. Being ambushed by weasels was a scenario Dani hoped to avoid. She preferred the darkness anyhow.

Taking the lead, Dani slipped into the shadows of the Acme factory unseen. Roger hopped along behind. They crept along the bricked wall as Dani searched for another way in other than breaking a window. Her hand strayed across a glazed basement window set into the base of the factory.

The window was way too small for someone Dani's size, though perfect for anyone shorter.

Dani inspected the window. "Roger, think you can fit?"

"Worth a shot," said Roger.

Roger crouched and pushed on the window; it didn't budge. Spitting into his gloves, his furry scarecrow arms doubled in size as he formed muscles and banged on the window. The window remained shut fast.

Roger's arms thinned as he leaned against the window. "Wouldn't you know? Locked."

Creaking, the basement window gave way under Roger's weight. He spun round and round with the window before it dumped him into a toilet. Dani watched as Roger was flushed away along with whatever else hadn't been flushed. The window clicked shut once more, locking her out.

 _Roger will be fine._ "Great! Now how do I get in?" she wondered.

She continued along the side of the building until she came across a series of ladder wrungs bolted into the wall. Looking up, the iron wrungs climbed the factory's brick exterior and ended at the edge of the rooftop. With not other choice Dani scaled the wall, placing her foot on the slippery wrungs one at a time until she reached the rooftop.

Up top Dani received a satisfying view of Maroon Studios and the other studios surrounding the area. At it's zenith the full moon shone brightly down upon the glitz and glam of Hollywood. Few Angelenos were aware of the mayhem and death transpiring in the Acme Factory that night.

Dani explored the roof and found an unlocked hatchway. She thanked her luck. Lifting the hatch, Dani slithered into the factory rafters overlooking a scene of turmoil and boiling Dip.

* * *

Below the Toon Patrol's feet the ground rumbled as drainage pipes cracked and burst from a pressure build up. Drain water geysered out of a grate, erupting to the factory's very rafters and drenching the weasels. Greasy, who'd been standing on the grate was sent flying and landed atop a net full of bricks. A second eruption followed and this time Roger exploded from the drain, screaming.

Landing with a hop, Roger pointed his gun at Judge Doom.

"Okay, nobody move," he ordered. "Alright weasels, surrender, or I let the Judge have it. You heard me I said drop it."

The weasels advanced on the rabbit.

"Roger! Heads up!" Above the factory floor a chain winch clinked as Dani swung down from the rafters on a hooked chain. She fired her pistol at the ground, clearing out the Toon Patrol. She landed beside the Rabbit in a pounce, then trained her weapon on the weasels.

"Reach for the sky!" she yelled.

"Roger! Darling! Dani, you're alive!" Jessica and Eddie cried together.

Roger skipped over to Jessica like a ballerina. "Yes, it's me my dearest. I'd love to embrace you but first," he swished his gun between each weasel, "I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage."

"Put your guns down you fools!" seethed Doom and stamped his cane.

Dani snorted and rejoined Eddie's side. "Not a chance. I've been dying for an opportunity to put a bullet through you since this morning, Doom. Right, Roger?"

"Right, Dani." Roger glared at the judge. "That's it Doom. Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. Thought you could get away with it didn't you?"

"And why should I listen to your demands?" Doom asked.

The rabbit stepped toward the judge. "We Toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice, a concept that probably never occurred to you. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks!"

Everyone dodged backwards when net of bricks dropped on top of Roger, crushing the rabbit. Greasy dropped down from above and flipped his gleaming stiletto closed.

" _Ha ha_. That will teach the rabbit never to launch me skyward again," Greasy chuckled.

Jessica panicked and darted to her husband's aid as Roger sprouted from the bricks like a flower from soil.

"Roger! Roger, say something," Jessica pleaded.

The rabbit was delirious. "Look! Stars! Ready when you are Raoul."

Dani threw up her arms. "Now he can manifest stars. Director Raul would be satisfied."

Around the partners and the toon couple the weasels once again aimed their guns upon the victims. Outgunned, outnumbered, Dani holstered her pistol as Doom reordered the toons to search them for the will.

Eddie was searched first by Smarty. The weasel found mostly nothing until Smarty reached into the detective's deepest coat pocket and extracted Roger's failed love letter to Jessica.

Smarty waved the letter at the judge before Eddie snatched it back. "Boss, we searched Valiant and only found a stupid love letter. The will ain't on him."

Wheezy searched Roger next and also came up empty handed.

"Then frisk the women!" Doom ordered.

Greasy rolled up his sleeves and pushed past his brothers. "I'll handle this one if you boys don't mind."

Wheezy rolled his eyes. " _Oy_! Here we go again!"

Next to Jessica, Dani was forced on her knees by Stupid. Greasy approached and flashed them a wolfish grin, eager to get started. Greasy gazed at Jessica's mostly exposed rack appreciatively, then looked on Dani with a frown. Reaching down he unbuttoned half her shirt and yanked it and her blazer down past her shoulders, exposing more than Dani was comfortable with.

Dani and Jessica sat stone still as Greasy plunged his hands into softness. Dani felt the weasel's questing hands searching all over for the "will". She glanced at Jessica, who winked at her uncomfortably. Greasy's hands slid deeper when two loud snaps caused the weasel to recoil.

"Yaaaggghhh!" Greasy howled.

Withdrawing, the Spanish weasel found two very huge bear traps ensnaring his hands. He pinwheeled his arms in pain and screamed incoherent Spanish.

Seeing the bear traps Smarty, Psycho, Wheezy, and Stupid could hardly contain themselves; Greasy deserved it so much. Dropping their guns, the weasel brothers rolled on the ground with gut busting laughter. Unable to stop they nearly choked on their mirthful tears.

Eddie glanced over at Dani and Jessica. "Nice booby traps."

"Yup, and it was Jessica's idea," Dani replied, buttoning back up her shirt and blazer.

Judge Doom however was far from pleased with his henchmen. Striding over to Greasy Doom whacked the crying weasel into a stack of boxes, scattering a mess of false plastic eyeballs. He thwacked the four other weasels over their heads, then thwacked them a second time for good measure.

Smarty massaged his temples. "Damn it! You didn't have to go that far, Boss."

"Ouchies. Ouchies!" Psycho patted his cranium.

Stupid and Wheezy held their heads in pain.

"Enough of the shenanigans!" Doom spat, his eyes ablaze with impatience. "Tie the love birds together and hang them from a hook. Use an escape proof Toon rope."

Immediately the Toon Patrol spread across the factory floor to prepare for the Toontown invasion. Smarty remained guarding Eddie and Dani. Typing up Roger and Jessica, Wheezy and Stupid hoisted the couple high above the factory floor. Greasy dislodged the bear traps from his hands, glowered at Dani, and climbed into _Doombringer_. With the turn of a key the machine roared to life. Snakelike, Psycho slithered up to the cannon platform.

The demented weasel grabbed a pair of handles and swung the cannon at Roger and Jessica. "I'm gonna kill the rabbit. Hehe!"

Suspended by a hook, Roger and Jessica stared at _Doombringer_ , then stared down at Dani and Eddie hopelessly with pleading expressions. This was likely to be their end.

" _Oh_ , Roger. Your entrance was magnificent," Jessica gushed.

Roger clapped his feet. "Was I really?"

"Better than Goofy," continued Jessica. "I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit."

" _Hoho_. I can relate to that my love," Roger smiled.

On the factory floor, Judge Doom calmly walked up to the partners. He faced Eddie first.

"It's over, Mr. Valiant. All of animation will soon bow down to me," said Doom, then faced Dani. "Miss Sharpe...I just wanted you to know how happy I am that you're here."

Dani shivered, but steeled her nerves. "Your company is a chilling one, Doom. Why would I possibly want to be anywhere with you around."

" _Ha ha_. I will reveal to you why soon enough," Doom countered. "For now, Dani, enjoy the fireworks. Keep watch on them, Smarty."

Smarty saluted, shoving his revolver in Eddie's gut. "Aye aye, Boss."

Stalking away, Doom tripped on the false eyes scattered across the ground. His legs flailed comically as the judge yelped and fought to regain his footing. Doom ended up landing on his butt, his long coat draping his face like a mourner's veil.

All around the warehouse the weasels burst out laughing again.

Eddie saw his chance and crept up behind Smarty as the weasel cackled at his boss. He reached out to throttle Smarty around the neck. At the same time Doom recovered, then spotted the detective's intentions.

"Look out! You fool!" Doom shouted.

Smarty swiveled around and pointed his revolver at Eddie. "Not so fast."

The detective lowered his hands. "My bad...Nothing gets past you does it."

"Never, Valiant. My eyes see all."

Doom got back to his feet, hiding his face. "One of these days you idiots are going to laugh yourselves to death, and I won't be around to knock you out of it!"

Dani brightened, an idea coming to mind. _Maybe that's not such a bad thing,_ she thought. _This could be our one chance to gain the upper hand._

"I have to...fix myself up again. Let Valiant watch his toon friends get dipped, then shoot him and lock up Sharpe." The judge disappeared into the forest of crates surrounding the factory floor.

Smarty cocked his revolver. "I'm going to enjoy watching you bleed, Valiant. Enjoy the show while you can."

Pulling Eddie away from the weasel, Dani whispered into his ear. "You and Teddy once worked at a Barnum and Bailey Circus as kids, right? I saw a picture of you two in clown suits."

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, but Sharpe I don't think this is the time and place for a circus act."

Behind them, Dani regarded an enormous music machine that resembled something you would find in any circus. The mechanized bandstand was equipped with animatronics and an array of instruments and lights. A switch board controlled the different functions. It was perfect for what Dani had in mind.

"Well I think now is the perfect time for an act. Get ready," she chided.

The detective started complaining, but Dani brushed him off, strode up to Smarty and smacked the weasel across the head.

Smarty screamed, squeezing his noggin. " _Owww_! What was that for—"

"Everything's funny to you ain't it needle nose?" Dani cut the weasel off.

"You got a problem with that, Sharpe?"

With Smarty distracted, Eddie reluctantly crept over to the bandstand machine. He prayed he remembered how to perform.

Dani shrugged. " _Er—_ I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip!"

Slamming the second button on the switchboard, Eddie brought the bandstand to life in a wash of color, lights, and the beat of _Merry Go Round Broke Down._ All the toons gathered were immediately drawn into the action as Eddie Valiant began his performance.

* * *

Note: Yes I know I twisted animation history, but I wanted to have fun with it. Also I did away with Doom's motivation to build a freeway (really what was up with that goal in the movie haha) and replaced it with "Animation Domination". IDK he just wants to rule over toons all over the world. It all ends next chapter. Who will live and who will die?


	15. The Many Faced Man

Chapter 15: The Many Faced Man

Roger and Jessica hung suspended above the factory floor, watching as Eddie began dancing and carnival music filled the air. The latter didn't know what to think.

"Valiant's lost his mind," Jessica finally said.

"I don't think so." Roger grinned. "Looks like Eddie's not entirely a sourpuss after all."

The detective strutted in front of the bandstand machine and sang.

 _Now Roger is his name,_

 _and laughter is his game._

 _Come on you dope_

 _untie his rope_

 _and watch him go insane._

Stepping on a broom and cracking his head twice, Eddie rolled into a dive and landed on his feet before Dani. He offered his hand to the junior investigator. Dani took her partner's hand reluctantly and joined the performance

Across the factory the weasels were drawn in by bandstand and dancing partners like moths to a flame.

Dani sang the best she could, moving to the beat of the music.

 _This singing ain't my line._

 _It's tough to make a rhyme._

 _If I get stuck,_

 _I'm, I'm outta luck and, and..._

"And I'm running out of time!" Jessica shouted down for her.

Dancing her heart out, Dani twirled around on her right foot and waved up at the songtress "Thanks, Jess!"

Eddie picked up round, black weights and tossed them to the girl. The first weight—it was entirely hollow—fumbled in Dani's hands, but she managed to toss it back to Eddie. Eddie added more weights into the mix and together they juggled the weights between themselves. As Eddie cartwheeled into a box of rubber dog poop, Dani tossed three weights skyward. With a light ping they dropped on her head as she pretended to stumble, dizzy on her feet.

She saw the weasels in a laughing panic attack.

Barely able to stand against the hilarity, Smarty fell on his back and clutched his stomach. Driving _Doombringer,_ Greasy banged his head on the steering wheel, cackled, then passed out.

Eddie reemerged from the fake poop, bouncing on an Acme pogo stick. Smiling like a buffoon, the detective bounced around the factory, soaring over heads and up to the rafters. Everyone winced when Eddie struck his head in a ceiling lamp and was electrocuted.

Stupid, hanging off a ladder on _Doombringer,_ laughed hard, banging his head with his club. Seizing up, the stupid weasel keeled over and his angelic ghost drifted out of his body strumming a harp. Above Stupid on the rim of the dip cauldron Wheezy laughed so hard that he choked on his cigar. Wheezy fought and failed desperately to pull his ghost back inside his body.

Dani watched as the weasels' ghosts drifted up to heaven, or wherever it was toons called the afterlife.

"Hey Eddie, Dani! Keep it up! You're killing them! You're slaying them! You're knocking them dead!" Roger cheered and clapped with his ears.

Fried, Eddie landed and started singing as Dani cartwheeled across to _Doombringer._ She picked up the drip pan under the cauldron's bottom nozzle.

 _I'm tired of taking falls._

 _I'm bouncing off the walls._

 _Without that gun_

 _I'd have some fun._

 _I'd kick you in the—_

"Nose!" Roger shouted above them, unable to resist joining the fun.

Smarty's laughter ceased. He stood up. "Nose? That don't rhyme with walls."

"No it doesn't." Dani ran up next to Eddie wielding the sloshing drip pan. "Here have a drink!"

Hefting the drip pan, she splashed Dip all over Smarty. Smarty screamed as the deadly Dip drenched him. Oddly enough the green gunk only dissolved his zoot suit. The weasel dropped his revolver to cover himself up.

"My suit! Not again!" Smarty yelled.

"And here I thought that would work," Dani sighed. She delivered a crushing kick to Smarty's crotch

Atop _Doombringer's_ platform Psycho danced with laughter watching as his brother sailed out of sight over a crate. One of the crazed weasel's hands smacked a lever. Activated, a jet of Dip spewed out of the cannon's nozzle mere feet from where the Rabbits hung.

Jessica screamed at the partners. "Valiant! Sharpe! Help us!"

Psycho laughed, pointing at the couples distress, then slipped off the platform. He landed dead on one of _Doombringer's_ spinning, Dip-tipped brushes. His ghost floated back up to the cannon platform where he flipped a switch with a heinous cackle.

Psycho hugged his harp as he drifted away. "Bye bye... _Hehehe_!"

The Dip cannon began turning, inching closer to Roger and Jessica.

"Roger! Jessica!" Dani cried. "Eddie we need to get up to that platform!"

But the detective was already a step ahead of her.

Sweating, puffing breath, Eddie scaled _Doombringer_ and inched his way across the hydraulic arm on hands and knees. On the platform he reached out for a lever.

"Eddie hurry! It's coming," Roger wailed. "Do something!"

Jessica closed her eyes. "Oh no! This is it. This is—"

The spraying Dip swung away as Eddie yanked a lever, flooding the Rabbits with relief.

"Eddie, on your left!" Dani shouted, but it was too late.

Holding onto his cane, Judge Doom ziplined on a wire toward the cannon platform, a horrid gargoyle in flight. He raised his legs and kicked out at Eddie. Arms flailing, Eddie tumbled like a boulder down hill. Doom perched on the platform and watched as the detective hit pavement. Suddenly a whizzing bullet grazed his cheek. Doom rolled off the platform and landed on the hood of _Doombringer._

Dani's pistol flashed with her last three shots before the judge ducked behind the Dip cauldron for cover. When her magazine emptied, Doom dashed from hiding to intercept her. Dani flipped out her knife. Her knife danced over her fingers as she flung it hard at Doom.

In midair the knife twirled, it's blade tip aimed for a killing blow.

Drawing back his cane, Doom unsheathed a hidden blade and knocked away the the bladed projectile.

Dani picked up her knife as it skittered to her feet. She looked at it, then at Doom's thin sword and felt helplessly stupid. She retreated to a stack of rectangular boxes as Doom approached her with his sword raised and ready. Dani read the label of one of the boxes and grinned.

"You're outmatched. Give it up," demanded Doom. He prepared to thrust his sword at the junior investigator.

Dani opened the box and drew free its contents. "I don't think so Doom—What the—"

She stared dumbfounded at the ridiculous weapon she had drawn, a silvery toon sword with the face and velvety voice of a club singer. The toon sword twisted in her grip as it sang to Doom.

 _Wicked Witchcraft._

 _And although I know_

 _it's strictly taboo..._

Growling in frustration, Dani flung the useless sword away. She raised her fists; she would fight Doom bare knuckled if she had too.

"Not so sharp now, are you Miss Sharpe?" Doom said.

Dani rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna fight, or make incredibly lame puns?"

To her surprise Doom lowered his sword.

"Neither," the judge said calmly. "You and I are much the same; therefore, I offer you the chance to join me in my animation domination."

Fear piqued, Dani quivered. "W-What do you mean we're the same?"

"I'm sure after seeing the Clown Stars you're aware of Toon Tonic."

Without another word Doom withdrew a glass vial he had been carrying. He downed the clear liquid in one gulp, smiling. Doom's sunken cheeks filled in and his wrinkles smoothed out. The pale skin on his face warmed to a healthier, peach glow. Removing his hat and glasses, Doom revealed brown hair growing like blades of grass from his scalp.

Wide eyed, Dani watched horrified as the judge's face morphed with sickening detail. She trembled as a familiar face from her childhood resurrected itself through Judge Doom. The haunting possibility that plagued her had come to life.

"It can't be..." Dani said. "This is a trick."

Instead of the gaunt face of Judge Doom, the face of Richard D. Sharpe stared back at her.

"No, Daniella Sharpe. I am your father," said Richard with her father's voice.

"It's not true. That's impossible," Dani continued denying.

Richard shook his head. "Search your feelings, you know it to be true."

"No! Noooo!" she moaned.

"Dani, it is your destiny. Join me and we can rule toondom as father and daughter."

The thing wearing the faces of Richard Sharpe and Judge Doom came forward, offering a beseeching hand. Dani stumbled backwards, flattening against a crate. Looking around she saw no other route of escape.

Deep in her heart, Dani wished she could just throw herself off somewhere high up, somewhere so high that she would fall forever into oblivion and away from this aching revelation.

"Or I can be whoever you want me to be," said Richard. He revealed seven more vials and downed their contents in one round. Quickly his face melted, stretched, and melted again until he resembled a handsome young man around Dani's age.

"I can be a lover."

His face morphed at will a third time to resemble a young woman.

"A best friend."

The young woman's face twisted into the visage of Goofy.

"Even a toon! _Hyuck_!"

"I don't care who you are!" Dani yelled.

The thing's image morphed through several faces of unknown origin before reverting back to Richard Sharpe.

"Join me, Dani," Richard pleaded.

Dani resisted. "My dad died, consumed bodily by fire. End of story!"

"Wrong. I am your father Richard Sharpe and always have been. Please Dani, come with me...Abandon your toon friends. Abandon your colleagues. Abandon your partner."

"I can't do that," she whimpered.

"Forget the ridicule."

"No, never."

"Forget the disappointment."

"Never."

"Forget the heartache."

"NEVERRRR!" Fists clenched, Dani hurled herself at Richard with all the sadness of her life. Her right fist launched out at her foe's face, but Dani sailed past as he stepped aside with ease. Dani planted her foot and used the momentum to swing out her leg in a kick aimed at Richard's midsection.

Before Dani could connect Richard caught her leg, ending her roundhouse kick. She threw out a rapid punch, then another punch, and another punch.

Richard blocked her blows. "Useless, Dani. I know all your moves because I taught them to you!"

Letting Dani sail past again with another punch, Richard slashed his sword at the girl's unprotected back. The sword's sharp edge sliced cleanly through clothing and flesh and traced a thin blood line across Dani's backside.

"Dani!" Roger and Jessica screamed in unison as they saw the junior investigator collapse.

On the ground, curled in fetal pain, Dani ran a hand over her back. Looking around, she saw her hand was coated in fresh red blood. She glared up at Richard defiantly, only the thing's face held concern.

"You left me with little choice, Dani. I tried not to cut too deep," Richard apologized. "I know it hurts, but believe me when I say the pain of losing you that day in the fire was a deeper kind of hurt."

He reached out his hand to caress Dani's cheek.

Dani squirmed away from his cold touch. "Get to hell. You can never be anything like my dad...impostor."

She sat up despite the pain lancing throughout her body. "Get it through your fucked up head: I will never join your scheme...I'm a detective and always will be."

Head lowered and silent, Richard Sharpe rose to his feet. One by one every hair on his head wilted away and his face grew sunken and pale as he morphed back into the haunting Judge Doom.

Putting on his hat and glasses, Doom stood over Dani once more, a dark sentinel of judgment. His sword was poised to strike.

"Very well—detective. So you have spoken, so you shall receive."

Like a guillotine the judge thrust his sword downward. Zinging bolts of toonish lightning grabbed the blade mere inches above Dani's neck. The bolts wrestled with the thin blade as Judge Doom held tightly to the weapon. Nearby Eddie stood holding an over sized Acme magnet, which crackled with electricity.

"Valiant!" Doom hissed.

"Bet you forgot about me!" the detective yelled. He swung the magnet around, pulling the judge safely away from the junior investigator.

"Mess with my partner's head," Eddie threatened, "and you deal with me and my magnet!"

* * *

Note:I know I probably drew out the Dani vs Doom fight, but I really got into the drama and action that was unfolding. Plus since so much conflict between the two beyond just their familial relation (or is it a relation?) is involved that I just couldn't help but cover certain parts. I had to plan an extra chapter just so make it work. Oh and I had to drop at least one f bomb.

Chapter 16 and an epilogue will be the last. I promise you that.


	16. Partners Against Doom

Chapter 16: Partners Against Doom

Arms of lightning crackled overhead as the contest between magnet and sword raged on. Burdened by the heavy Acme magnet, Eddie struggled to wrest the sword out of Judge Doom's iron grip. Doom swung on his sword as he wrestled with the electrical arms for supremacy.

"Let go already you freak!" Eddie snapped.

Straightening his blade, Doom allowed the magnet's energy to tug him across the factory floor.

With the flying sword tip aimed to impale Eddie panicked and dropped the magnet. Suddenly he felt the magnet hugging his midsection. He tumbled backwards under the heavy load and slammed against an steel oil drum attracted by the magnet's pull. Eddie twisted and turned, prying at the magnet, but he was stuck fast.

Satisfied, Doom sheathed his sword. "Don't move."

The judge vanished into the factory only to reappear a minute later driving a steamroller into view. Turning the wheel, Doom drove straight toward the trapped detective. Inside _Doombringer_ Greasy, comatose, rolled lightly atop the gas pedal in his delirium. Slowly the doom machine began rolling toward the brick wall bordering Toontown, right in the direction of the Rabbits. The spewing Dip cannon inched toward the couple yet again.

"Roger here it comes again!" Jessica hugged herself closer to Roger. "Someone get us down already!"

"Come on Eddie. Quit playing around. Plplplease!" Roger blubbered. He twisted in his escape proof bondage to no avail.

Near Eddie's feet lay a small box of Acme portable holes. Eddie kicked at the boxes, trying to pull one towards him as the steamroller's steel roller drew closer. Sweating, he managed kicking one box open. Grabbing the black, portable hole he threw it over the magnet and stood free. Eddie climbed the roller and kicked Doom in the face sending the judge tumbling out of the driver's seat and onto the floor. Swinging off the steamroller he heaved up a canister of Acme glue.

Meanwhile the steamroller rolled back around. Chugging along it headed in the direction of the two combatants.

Eddie swung the canister down upon Doom, who caught the canister in mid-swing and shoved the detective aside. He blocked Doom's follow up punch with the canister. The judge's arm broke open the canister and sunk deep into the sticky, yellow gunk within.

Letting go, Eddie retreated only to come face to face with the steamroller.

Doom shook his right arm free of the canister, then sprinting he threw his glue encrusted fist at the detective.

Eddie dodged aside, letting Doom punch the roller behind him instead. Ignoring the judge, the detective ran to _Doombringer_ , opened the driver door, and turned off the ignition. He dragged Greasy out and dropped the unconscious weasel inside an empty box.

The entire machine shuttered before shutting off.

"Good job Eddie, that was too close for comfort!" Roger congratulated.

Jessica nodded her thanks.

Eddie waved up. "No problem. I'm gonna check on Dani."

He strode over to his partner, but the girl had already risen and was resting against a crate, the back of her blazer soaked with blood. Dani stared transfixed at Doom.

"Eddie look!" Roger pointed with his ear.

By now the steamroller was doing its job rolling over Doom, reducing him to a black suited pancake. Eddie turned away from the nightmarish sight until he caught movement from the flattened judge. Hugging herself, Dani returned to Eddie's side. Frozen in horror and disgust, they all watched as Doom peeled himself off the floor and stand awkwardly on splayed feet.

"Holy smokes! He's a toon!" Eddie yelled.

Flopping wiry limbs, Doom turned toward them. "Surprised?"

Eddie shook his head. "Not really. A lame brained idea to rule toons could only be cooked up by a toon."

"A toon who hates his own kind is no toon at all," Dani added. "ToonDoom."

"Not just any toon!" Doom flopped over to an oxygen tank. Placing his mouth over the nozzle, he re-inflated his body. As his body expanded balloonlike his hat flew off . Two human eyeballs twitching this way and that plopped out of his sockets.

Fully inflated yet half-formed between toon and human, the quasi-freak faced the partners anew with eyes that blazed red and penetrating. They were red eyes that glared down at Eddie amid laughter on a cold Toontown street, red eyes wreathed in flame as Dani's childhood came burning down around her, red eyes that intrinsically linked the partners together to a common enemy.

"Eddie, it's him! The thing I saw in the fire." Dani shuddered. "The same thing who took Teddy's life."

Eddie stood frozen with fear as the past came back to haunt him.

"Remember me Valiant and Sharpe? When I killed your loved ones I talked just like them!" ToonDoom screeched. His eyes exploded into daggers from their sockets. Golden springs exploded from his shoes, catapulting him skyward toward the partners.

Injured, Dani was barely able to leap aside as ToonDoom glided over the girl on his springs. Eddie bolted for _Doombringer_ before claw-like hands seized his shoulders and threw the detective bodily backwards. Landing, ToonDoom turned the ignition and restarted _Doombringer_. He used the glue on his arm and glued down the gas pedal, allowing the machine to resume its sluggish march upon the Rabbits and Tootown.

ToonDoom directed his sights once more on Eddie and strode to the detective.

Dani staggered against her pain, blocking the freak's path. "This time you stay away from _my_ partner!" she spat her defiance.

Too often Eddie had come to her defense, this time Dani wanted to do the same. Whatever it took they would stand against doom as equals.

Grinning manically, ToonDoom whipped off his glove. In place of a hand the freak wielded a hundred ton golden anvil. Drawing back the anvil, he bludgeoned Dani.

The junior investigator rolled head over heels across the floor.

"Sharpe!" yelled Eddie. He ran after his partner only to be bludgeoned behind his back by ToonDoom. Eddie landed on his chest. Rolling over he felt two or three broken ribs pop out of place. Writhing in agony, Eddie glanced over at his vulnerable partner when he spotted a hammer nearby in the ruins of a desk overturned by the destructive steamroller. He recognized it as the same toon hammer an LAPD detective had pranked him with that morning.

Agonizingly slow, the exhausted detective dragged himself across the floor as ToonDoom, unaware of anything else, refocused solely on the girl who had rejected him.

ToonDoom drew back the anvil to reveal a golden buzz saw. Eyes ablaze, he walked toward Dani, who remained slumped on her side awaiting the end.

"You brought this on yourself, Dani Sharpe," ToonDoom muttered in a high pitched squeak. "Reject me and I slice you up!"

Sparks flew as the freak demonstrated the buzz saw on a length of weighed chains. He extended the whirring blade at Dani, eager to render her flesh. Dani pulled herself along the hard ground when her hand brushed cold metal—it was Smarty's revolver. She hid the gun in her blazer as the toonish saw extended close enough to cleave the soles of her boots.

Just then a spring loaded boxing glove hurtled toward ToonDoom, who ducked beneath the sudden blow. The punching glove retracted. Dani jerked aside as the buzzing saw blade bounced and bit into the ground where she had lain only seconds ago. White hot sparks crackled against her smarting back. It was then she saw Eddie running, wielding the distracting hammer.

The detective stood over Dani and fired the boxing glove again.

ToonDoom dodged the second blow to stand before _Doombringer._ Raising his whirring arm, ToonDoom extended the saw faster than the detective could react.

For Dani, the whole world seemed to slow down for one, brief moment.

"Eddie!?" she uttered.

Eddie glanced over his shoulder at his partner, smiling more than he ever had in years. "Thanks for the laughs, Sharpe..."

The golden saw whirled and the detective's head dropped.

"NOOO! EDDIE!" Roger and Jessica screamed in horror. Below the couple ToonDoom cackled in victory, retracting the bloodied buzz saw.

Bereft, the uncertain investigator said nothing—she only reacted.

Dani rolled into a crouch, drawing the revolver in a flash. Cocking the weapon, pulling the trigger, she fired repeatedly at the heated cauldron of _Doombringer_ right behind ToonDoom _._ The heavy slugs pinged into the iron and blew open a hole.

Turning worriedly to his creation, ToonDoom's eyes ballooned and he screamed as a torrential cascade of Dip sprayed him across the factory floor. Dip pooled around ToonDoom. He struggled to rise and found his feet dissolving as the green goop claimed its victim.

Overhead the cannon's spray ceased as the cauldron's Dip levels plummeted and flooded the factory.

ToonDoom wailed as acrid steam billowed forth around him. "Waaaaaaaaahh! Waahhhhhhh! I'm melting! Melting! Melting...!"

From their vantage Roger and Jessica watched silently as ToonDoom's body evaporated within the Dip.

Dani glowered, devoid of feeling. "Good riddance, freak."

 _DoomBringer_ continued rolling toward Roger and Jessica.

"Dani! Do something! Hurry up Dani it's still coming!" Roger called down to the girl.

Pulled back to reality, Dani splashed through the sea of Dip, grabbed a control stick, and redirected the hook holding the rabbits away from _Doombringer's_ path.

Unhindered, _Doombringer_ passed through the factory and barreled into the brick wall, opening it up to a picturesque view of the sunny Toontown countryside. As _Doombringer_ crossed a train track a passenger train carrying toons suddenly slammed into the machine and pushed the monstrosity away. Somewhere down the line _Doombringer_ exploded in a flaming display of satisfying destruction.

Dani spun a plumbing valve on a wall which pumped water through fire hydrants and filtered out the Dip sea. Once all the Dip drained away she finally lowered her friends safely to the ground. She cut away the ropes restraining them with her knife, then helped them down.

"You're a true hero," Jessica told Dani, then embraced Roger joyfully as he hopped into his wife's arms. "Come here honey bunny."

Roger swooned. "Oh love cup."

Their odd love for each other was undeniably sweet.

"I'm glad you guys safe and together," Dani said quietly at last. The couple turned to her, their expressions bittersweet.

"All thanks to you, Dani," said Roger and frowned, "and Eddie..."

" _Oh_ , Dani!" uttered Jessica forlornly.

Nodding, the girl stalked off to sit by herself, the heartache finally possessing her.

Roger slid out of his wife's arms and they both rushed after the hurting girl hand in hand. They wanted nothing more than to hug her.

Sitting atop a crate, Dani wept.

* * *

"Sister Mary Francis! What the hell happened in here?" Benny yelled as he drove into the factory _late_ a few minutes later. "I've been a cab for 37 years and I've never seen a mess like this. Gross!"

The cab flashed his headlights over ToonDoom's remains where little remained except clothing sloshed with red, yellow, and white toon paint.

In time LAPD police cruisers and vans pulled into the factory, sirens blaring. A squad of cops and detectives, headed by Lieutenant Santino, fanned out to secure the scene. Among them was an anxious Dolores, who had ditched her work at the Terminal Station Bar to find the partners.

After getting the shallow sword wound across her back bandaged up Dani went to Dolores. She hated to break the news concerning Eddie's fate to Dolores. Knowing she would find out eventually, she told Dolores everything that had transpired since the cinema herself.

"I'm sorry, Dolores. Really I am," said Dani and directed the heartbroken waitress over to where paramedics were loading the detective's remains onto a gurney.

Dani turned away as Dolores wept her heart out over her lover. She rejoined Roger, Jessica, and Santino instead. A gaggle of toons ranging from Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Bugs Buuny, Woody Woodpecker, and more had flooded the Acme factory from the Toontown countryside to partake in the crime scene. All of them surrounded ToonDoom's ugly remains as if it were on display in some circus freak show.

"Was this a toon, or a man?" Santino asked, scribbling on a notepad.

Dani started to clarify. "More like a hybrid of the two. Doom, or ToonDoom, used Toon Tonic to masquerade as different people throughout the years. It was all in his plan to dominate global animation and he was going to start with Toontown tonight. Here."

She handed Santino a rope coated in yellow paint, then patted Roger's soft head.

"Roger was innocent all along, lieutenant, and this is the rope from the safe that was dropped on Acme. I think your lab boys will find that paint's a perfect match to ToonDoom's paint prints."

"That's what I call one seriously disturbed toon." Rolling up the rope, Santino bagged it as evidence. "So Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme."

"And R. K. Maroon, my dad, and the Valiant brothers..." Dani trailed.

The lieutenant turned to Dani. "I wouldn't be to certain about that second victim, Sharpe."

Dani quirked a brow. "What?"

Before Santino could answer Mickey piped up, " _Aha_! I wonder who he really was. _Aha_!"

Bugs tipped his carrot. "I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit!"

Daffy Duck jumped up. "Or a duck!"

" _Hyuck_! Or a dog," Goofy added.

Pinocchio rotated his head Exorcist style. "Or a possessed wooden boy."

"Uh huh huh heh ha! Or a woodpecker!" Woody Woodpecker laughed.

"Or a pussy," Sylvester spat and everyone looked at the cat strangely. "What did I say?"

"Hey you nimrods don't forget the case with the will!" Baby Herman pushed through the crowd.

Roger tried reasoning with his costar. "Don't worry! We can find it!"

"Apple sauce!" Herman yelled, stomping his little feet. "If Acme was such a genius why didn't he leave his will where we could find it more easily? Without it we're just waiting for another developer's wrecking ball."

Dani tapped Roger's shoulder and held out the crinkled lover letter, which she had retrieved from Eddie's trench coat.

"What is it, Dani?" the rabbit asked.

"The love letter you wrote to Jessica in the Ink and Paint Club, remember?" Dani smiled knowingly."Say, Roger. Why don't you read it to her now—carefully."

Roger unfolded the letter. "Alright! I've been dying to read it all day anyways." He cleared throat. "Dear Jessica. How do I love thee. Let me count the ways...I Marvin Acme? Of sound mind and body—it's the will—do hereby bequeath in perpetuity the property known as Toontown to those loveable characters the toons!" _Hoo hoo hoo_!"

All around the toons jumped for joy, their cheers rising to the rafters. Toontown officially belonged to them at last! Hand in hand they began singing _Smile Darn Ya Smile_ and headed through the brick portal back to Toontown. Dani wanted to join the festivities, but hung back. There was some background to the case she needed to know, plus she was too tired to celebrate.

Jessica picked up Roger and ran her husband down her curving body. "Come on Roger. Let's go home. I'll bake you a carrot cake." She winked at Dani. "What do you say, sister? Care for some too?"

" _Ha!_ Thanks Jess, but I'll leave the loving to you," Dani chuckled. She turned to Santino. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

Santino regarded Dani and Roger Rabbit. "I did some digging and it pertains to you and Roger—well it can wait until the morning. For now just get some rest, Sharpe. You and...Valiant did well."

Dani smiled sullenly. "Yeah, we did. Didn't we? Case closed."

"Get your mitts of me estupidos!"

"Settle down, or I'll muzzle you!" a cop yelled.

A cop was leading Greasy into an awaiting police cruiser. Greasy had awoken burried in a box of rubber dog poop long after ToonDoom's demise to find his hands bandaged and shackled in toon-proof handcuffs. He fought his captors, spraying Spanish indecencies. Greasy paused when he sighted Dani and Jessica together and flashed his incisors lustfully.

"Senorita Sharpe. Senorita Rabbit. You both survived!" Greasy hailed them over.

Roger, Jessica, and Dani approached the weasel.

"And you didn't die laughing after all, Greasy," Dani said.

"No I didn't!" Greasy said proudly as he was loaded into the cruiser. "Life is too full of beautiful women for me to die from something as mundane as laughter. Can't say the same for the my brother weasels though..."

The weasel pretended to cry, then shrugged. "...Oh well!"

"Horny little goon, isn't he?" Jessica asked Dani.

"No kidding." The girl scrunched her face, recalling how the weasel's hands had played around in her bra and Jessica's dress. "Well, now he can play with himself behind bars."

Roger waged a finger. "And if he knows what's best for him he'll keep his dirty mind off my wife!"

Greasy grinned at the women. "I will see you again some day, mucha-"

The cop slammed the door in Greasy's face and pointed across the factory. "What about that one? He's way too distressed to arrest."

Crying, wearing nothing but bare fur, Smarty slumped to the ground. "M-My zoot suit!" he bawled. "With the Boss gone, w-who will draw me a new suit now!"

"We'll handle this," Dani told the cop as she and Roger went to Smarty. Jessica left to rifle through a crate of clothing.

"You gotta feel a little remorse for the guy," Roger whispered to Dani. "He really only turned to a life of crime because he's...because he loved the suits Doom drew for him, especially pink ones."

Smarty sniffled as the friends approached. "W-What do y-you want?"

Dani crouched, doing her best to console the weasel. "Hey! Don't cry, Smarty. You do know it was your revolver that Doom gave you that helped us destroy him."

"Yeah! Talk about ironic," quipped Roger until Jessica returned carrying a very pink and very lacy dress and a pair of high heels. The songtress ordered the depressed weasel to get dressed.

Reluctant, Smarty wiped his nose and slipped on the slim dress and heels, both of which fit him perfectly and matched his eyes.

The weasel blushed and spun around so his skirt flared. "How do I look?"

Dani and Roger looked at each other awkwardly, wondering what the other thought.

" _Um_...pretty swanky?" Dani expressed.

Roger plucked at his suspenders, glancing away. "Like a brand new weasel."

"You don't need to turn to a life of crime just to look pretty, Smarty," said Jessica. "Your surviving, perverted brother found out there's more to life than just a good laugh."

Smarty sniffled again. "I-I don't want to go to jail, plus I do kinda like wearing this dress and prison stripes would clash with my fur. S-So what should I do then?"

Jessica wrapped a comforting arm around the weasel. "Ever thought about working at the Ink and Paint Club?" she asked.

* * *

Outside the Acme Factory, Dani bade farewell to Roger, Jessica, and Smarty. The trio of toons waved back as they entered the portal into Toontown. As the factory doors were closed and cordoned off with yellow tape, she returned with Lieutenant Santino to Maroon Studios and back to Maroon's office where the case had kicked off close to forty eight hours ago. It was also the office where she had first met Eddie Valiant.

Santino led the junior investigator to the office doors, saying there were some people who wanted to award her privately.

Dani raised her brow. "Award?"

"Just go with it," said Santino. He winked. "You won't be disappointed, not anymore."

The lieutenant left her alone after that.

It was so late! All Dani wanted to do was curl up in bed and let slumber carry her sorrow away—she had had enough of it for one case. Despite her misgivings she entered the office.

Inside all signs of Eddie Valiant's confrontation with R.K. Maroon had been swept away. Only faint traces of blood marred the white carpet by a defunct moviola.

Awaiting Dani at Maroon's former desk sat a well dressed, middle aged man. His graying dark hair was slicked back and his short mustache was finely trimmed. On the couch sat a bearded Japanese man with thick rimmed glasses. Accompanying the foreigner was an enormous, hair toon. The toon appeared to be a gray haired cat, or bear, or some hybrid of the two with a white belly and tiny ears. It blinked at Dani with his small eyes and flashed a toothy grin.

"Dani Sharpe," the man at Maroon's desk greeted. "I'm so glad you could come at this late hour."

The junior investigator suddenly recognized the man whose face was famous throughout animation. "M-Mr. Disney?" she gasped.

"Walter Elias Disney," the man smiled warmly, "but please just call me Walt. _Oh_! Don't let me forget our animation ambassador visiting from Japan and chief animator of Studio Ghibli, Mr. Hayao Miyazaki and his friend Totoro."

Miyazaki bowed to Dani. "Konbanwa."

Dani bowed in return, unsure how to respond.

"I wish my nephew Johnny Lasseter could be here to meet you tonight, but he's got school in the morning," Walt sighed. He flipped out a Micky Mouse wallet to show a picture of a pudgy kid in glasses. "I swear one day Johnny is going to help revolutionize how we give life to toons, but enough about that. Tonight is about you, Miss Sharpe."

Dani plopped into an armchair and rested a sore one leg on the coffee table. "Me?"

Walt nodded at Miyazaki, frowning. "First we wish to extend our condolences. Tonight we lost a great detective who contributed his entire life to the betterment of toonkind. Mr. Valiant was a good man, brother, and friend...May he and his brother rest in peace and be remembered for their services in the annals of toondom."

"Hai," Miyazaki sighed while Totoro's smile faded.

Taking a seat in the armchair next to Dani, Walt continued. "And tonight we would like to extend a debt of gratitude to Mr. Valiant's partner...Dani you saved us all from domination, and for this we are grateful."

Walt nodded to the Japanese ambassador. "Hayao represents Japanese animation here in the states, and he was worried for his homeland and anime when he learned of Doom's Dip-missile threats. But Dani, you squelched those fears."

"Arigato, Dani-san," said Miyazaki with twinkling tears in his eyes.

Dani bowed her head again. "What will happen to Maroon Studios and Acme now?"

"My company will obtain full acquisition of all Maroon and Acme properties—in due time," said Walt. "Till then we will safeguard Toontown from other nefarious freaks who wish it harm and provide for the toons who are under the late Maroon's employ, and that includes Roger."

This time tears twinkled in Walt's eyes. "Later down the line I plan to open a park where toons and people can come together in a place of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy. Mickey told me he thinks my idea is crazy, but I assured him it will work...I'll probably call it Disneyland."

Dani chortled. " _Ha_! Disneyland sounds more charming than _Doombringer_ I can tell you that much!"

They laughed together, even though Miyazaki hardly understood a shred of English.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Walt clasped Dani's hands with his warm ones. "Mr. Santino thought it would be more appropriate if one of us animators asked you."

"Ask me what?" said Dani.

"We hope you consider joining on permanently."

Walt Disney unclasped his hands from Dani's.

Resting in Dani's palm lay a silver badge inlaid with a blue jewel. Emblazoned on the badge were the faces of Felix the Cat in a design evoking the emotional marquee masks of a theater drama. Inscribed in bold letters the badge read: _D._ _Sharpe: TIU Inspector._

Waddling around the office, Totoro hugged Dani thankfully, pulling her from behind into his deep, rich fur. Dani closed her eyes and snuggled warmly into Totoro, all her heartache washing away in this one moment she had dreamed of.

Walt and Miyazki smiled as Dani pulled away from the toon.

"So what do you think, Dani?" asked Walt. "Will you stay and help restore the Toon Investigations Unit?"

Dani's eyes lit with fiery determination. "Inspector Sharpe...Has a nice ring to it."

* * *

Note: Well that's it! This was my longest chapter yet. I know I messed with History again, but I thought it was cool and hilarious. Last comes the epilogue, something a little important and funny. Thanks for reading and hats off to Eddie.


	17. Epilogue: A Bond Beyond Blood

Epilogue: A Bond Beyond Blood

Dani Sharpe checked the clock. An hour remained before show time and her guests still hadn't shown up. Growing bored, she retrieved an old feather duster and swept it through the dustiest parts of the office she could find. Near the end Dani dusted lightly over picture frames of the Valiant brothers lining a counter top beside the office desk.

She gazed upon them fondly.

Each picture had been placed with care in a new frame. Newer pictures of Eddie, sent by his family out of state and Dolores, had been added to the collection. All the new pictures featured Eddie, Dolores, and Teddy during happier times. One frame in particular featured the first snapshot Eddie had taken of Marvin Acme and Jessica Rabbit playing patty cake in the songtress's dressing room, the elusive will circled in red ink. The picture was more of a memento, a tribute to Dani's first case.

Nowadays that first night with Eddie Valiant had felt like a dream.

However brief their time together was, Dani would always remember her partner as the grumbling old detective who had fallen down on his luck, then returned reborn to face down a mysterious, lifelong foe at the very end. Where Eddie felt he had failed defending his brother, Eddie later had found redemption and peace of mind by defending his partner and friends.

"At least you didn't go out as a sourpuss, Valiant," said Dani, touching a picture of Eddie.

Dani sank into a rolling chair and propped her feet on the desk—her desk. She marveled at her new surroundings filled with her belongings, though here and there she had kept a few small mementos from Valiant and Valiant Private Eyes, her predecessors. But now the brothers' office and investigative tools belonged to Dani Sharpe. Their duty was now her duty to fulfill.

An uncertain future awaited Dani, and she was content with that for now.

A knock at the door pulled the young inspector from her reverie.

"The door is open!" Dani called.

Lieutenant Santino and Roger Rabbit appeared in the doorway, both glad to see the newest TIU inspector at work.

"Dani!" Roger cried and hopped onto the desk, his big feet knocking over the desk lamp.

The inspector and rabbit high-fived.

"It's the big night. Are you ready?" Roger asked, plopping down atop the desk.

Dani lounged back. "More than ready. I hope they knock the audiences' socks off. What's up, Santino? How's our old office these days?"

"Nothing you would miss, Sharpe. Same old same old at the old LAPD, " said Santino, looking around at the newly furnished office. "I like what you did with the place, especially the front door."

"Yup! Custom design." Dani looked to the office door.

On the door's glazed glass the Felix the Cat TIU symbol had been repainted and her title—Inspector D. Sharpe: Toon Private Eye—was inked in bold black and blue letters. Dani swooned with joy every time she saw it, for her lifelong dream to become a private detective was now reality.

"So, Lieutenant, what have you been hiding from me and Roger? What's this urgent news we need to know?" she asked.

Since the end of the "Framed Hare Case" nearly a month later, Lieutenant Santino had withheld information he uncovered in the LAPD archives. His discoveries Dani assumed apparently contained facts concerning her and Roger. Tied up at LAPD HQ, Santino had found little time until now to spill the beans. Today the moment had arrived.

Santino pulled a manila folder from his trench coat. He dropped it onto the desk. In bold lettering the folder read: _Lt. Richard Sharpe_. A picture of Richard Sharpe was clipped to the corner.

The lieutenant chuckled. "Good news. Judge Doom, whoever or whatever he was, was never related to you."

"I figured that out a long time ago, Santino, and I thank God it isn't true," Dani snorted. Just the thought of possibly being related to the freak still sent shivers down Dani's spine. "Over time the freak thought less of me as a daughter and more as something else, including a lover. _Bleh_!"

"Yeah that would be nasty," Santino quipped. "Anyhow, Dani, you were never a Sharpe either."

Dani gaped, flabbergasted. "What do you mean, lieutenant?"

"In fact Richard Sharpe never existed, or at least not as a human. Judge Doom, or ToonDoom, fabricated the persona in order to infiltrate LAPD." Santino tapped the file. "I crossed referenced Richard's profile with public records and discovered the guy was never even born."

"So you're saying Judge Doom really did bring up Dani?" Roger asked. He tugged on his ears, eager to hear more.

Santino spat, crossing his arms. "More like kidnapped a poor girl and raised her as his own dream daughter."

He gazed sternly at the inspector. "Dani, it is true Doom raised you while masquerading as his false persona, Lieutenant Sharpe, yet he never sired you. In truth Doom kidnapped you from your real parents a long time ago." He shook his head. "Supposedly at one point Doom wanted to raise a child and wanted to bring that child up as a master detective like him, or a junior megalomaniac bent on Animation Domination. At one point he needed to advance to the next stage of his plan, and that required a new persona."

"So Doom faked his death as Richard Sharpe with a house fire," said Dani. "And that night he wanted me to join him."

"Good thing you refused; otherwise, we wouldn't be talking to each other right now," said Santino. " Either way ToonDoom was a whack job."

Roger nodded his head vigorously. "Yeah, he probably would have toonified you, Dani."

The thought of being toonified with tonic sent another round of shivers through Dani's body. "Don't even think that, Roger. _Ugh_! Who knows what sick ideas Doom had formulating in his mind!"

Dani didn't know what to think right then. All this time she had lived a childhood fabricated by a total freak, an abomination of nature. If the fire had not consumed Richard Sharpe aka ToonDoom, then who knows what her fate might have been? What if she had accepted his offer? She would have probably become another henchman, or Doom's toonified queen and plaything!

She banished the evil thoughts just as Roger spoke up, scratching his chin. "Okay, ToonDoom kidnapped Dani, so then who are her real parents? And what's her original last name?"

Drawing up a chair, Santino sat in front of Roger Rabbit. He grinned. "Roger...Do you remember your creator?"

Roger looked at his feet forlornly. "Kinda. His name was Gary K. Wolf and he drew me to life years ago; although, I only knew him for a short while before..."

"I've heard of Wolf. He was a top notch author and artist back in the day," said Dani. "Someone murdered the poor guy, right Roger?"

To toons, their creators were like their parents. Toons were drawn on paper and by some miracle above they always came to life in a whirlwind of color right before the animator's eyes. The media liked to poke fun at the idea, but the bond toons and animators shared was without equal. Heck, sometimes people caught Disney's fab five—Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, and Pluto—calling Walt papa! The bond was that strong.

It was obvious Roger Rabbit shared a bond with his late creator, but he didn't like to talk about it.

Roger twiddled his thumbs. "Yeah, Gary and his wife were killed by a lone gunman who fled the scene."

"That's terrible! I'm sorry, Roger," Dani replied.

The rabbit smiled. "Thanks, Dani. You're a true friend."

Santino leaned closer between the friends. "The young Wolfs also had their first child at the time, a baby girl who disappeared after the shooting. Sources say the shooter kidnapped the baby because she was his motivation all along."

"Oh, right!" Roger pounded his fist. "I remember now. Gary and his wife were so happy when their baby was born! Why it felt like only yesterday—"

The missing pieces fell into place as the rusted gears of memory were oiled and clicked with motion once more. Dani stared at the toon, her friend Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit stared back at the inspector and friend who had fought to prove his innocence, Dani Sharpe. For both friends their bond had deepened even further.

Lieutenant Santino swiped away a single tear before anyone noticed and put on a serious, manly face.

"Dani," he said. "Your real name is Daniella Wolf. You are the daughter of the Gary Wolf, the man who brought the famous Roger Rabbit to life. In a sense you and Roger are siblings who share a bond beyond blood."

"Wow," Roger gaped. "That's a big pill to swallow."

Tearing up, Dani pulled Roger into hug. The rabbit chuckled and returned the affection, resting his head on her shoulder.

"One very big pill, but so worth it," Dani gushed.

* * *

They arrived late to the Ink and Paint Club a few minutes past the hour. Luckily the curtains remained closed and people were still packing into the club for the debut show. Dani and Roger took their seats at a table front row and center. They bid goodnight to Santino who shuffled over to another table where Dolores awaited him. Arm in arm, leaning into each other Santino and Dolores turned toward the stage, waiting for showtime.

Dani was glad Dolores had found new love in Santino. Still, the waitress surely missed Eddie Valiant, whom they all remembered and missed fondly.

Around them was a sea of familiar faces; her old coworkers from the LAPD, Eddie's bar buddies, several familiar toons from Toontwon. Even the Red Stars and Greasy sat in attendance!

On their right the Soviet arms dealers looked to have fully recovered from their toonication and were happy to have escaped incarceration by the US Government by offering to expose other possible associates under Doom's employ in a plea deal. Among them, Viktor Mirovich waved at Dani, recognizing the inspector who had vouched for their freedom in the court hearing that followed.

To their left, Greasy, wearing prison duds, sat at a table accompanied by a female weasel in one hand and a drink in the other. Around him sat five cops, who watched Greasy guardedly.

 _Least he found someone_ , Dani thought.

Or maybe the Spanish weasel was just there to ogle Jessica, or laugh at his brother? Who knew?

" _Oh_ , I can't wait! Jessica's gonna knock them all dead!" Roger clapped. He tightened his polka dot tie and straightened a suave jacket that he had traded for with his suspenders at a Toontown thrift shop. Just like Marvin Acme before, the rabbit loved watching his wife perform.

Dani as usual wore her normal outfit; undershirt, blazer, pants, and boots with a hidden blade. The difference now was she carried a gleaming badge of office clipped on her belt and toted a pistol strapped visibly to her leg, a warning that she was not a fragile girl anymore. To her friends she was Dani Sharpe. To others and enemies she was Inspector Sharpe.

"You plan on changing your last name to Wolf?" Roger asked as if reading her mind.

Dani shook her head. "Probably not. I've grown to become a crime fighter, not an animator. Besides, I'm a hundred percent devoted to upholding toon justice like Eddie and Teddy did."

She flipped her pistol and winked. "Someone's got to keep the filth out of Toontown."

Roger gulped. "I'd hate running into you in a dark alley."

"What ever you say, brother," Dani muttered. The inspector had to get used to her relation to Gary K. Wolf, her true dad and Roger's "dad".

"Back at ya, sister," Roger fired back. He hopped up in his seat. "Benny! Herman! Over here!"

"On our way Roger! Excuse the exhaust, honey." Benny the Cab rolled down the middle aisle spewing toon exhaust on several unhappy patrons. Baby Herman sat upon Benny's hood sucking on a large hookah pipe borrowed from a certain riddle spouting caterpillar. At their table, the cab and baby greeted Roger first, did some weird handshake, and then noticed Dani.

Herman blew out a green smoke ring. "Well, well, if it isn't Inspector Sharpe. Any cases yet, doll?"

Dani hid her irritation; she hated being called that. "Not yet. I just started after all and need to finalize some paperwork before I choose any case. Why do you ask, Herman?"

The toon baby scratch his one curl of hair. "Well you see, I got this case of one of my makeup artists extorting money-"

"For God's sake leave Sharpe alone, Herman!" Benny yelled up at the baby. "She'll probably have enough cases to deal with soon, and she doesn't need your bullshit messing up good business."

Dani sighed. "Thanks for the support, Benny. There are few decent...cars around who I can relate too."

Benny saluted with a fender. "Thanks! And if you ever need a new ride for a case, I'm your cab!"

The inspector was thoughtful with Benny's offer. Eventually she would need a new car—her old car was beyond getting back. The toon cab would make a genuine replacement. Secondly, in the future, she would need to enlist a new partner to fill the void Eddie Valiant had left behind.

As showtime neared, Dani heard Betty Boop—happy in color—walking by.

"Cigars, Cigarettes, Earplugs," Betty called out.

"Over here! Over here!" Herman waved Betty over. Pulling out a five from his diaper, Herman bought two sets of earplugs for himself and Benny. All around the club several patrons were buying earplugs too.

Dani looked at her friends queerly. "What are those for?"

Benny plugged his earplugs into somewhere cars called ears. "Trust me, Sharpe, you probably want to get a pair."

"I'll cover you," Herman offered.

"Is it about Jessica's singing?" she asked.

Herman and Benny looked at each other, unsure how to answer. "Well..." Benny trailed. "Lets say it's less about Jessica Rabbit and more to do with her new costar's...sensitivities. "

"No one likes to risk hurting his feelings," remarked Herman.

All of a sudden lights throughout the club dimmed and the curtains drew back amid a thunderous applause.

Roger hopped in his chair. "It's starting! It's starting!"

Leaning over the table, Dani relaxed and witnessed her new sister in law—Jessica Rabbit—weave a seductive spell through song and dance. Like Deja Vu, Jessica strutted out on stage in a sparkling red gown amid hoots and whistles from the gathered men. Jutting a hip, Jessica winked at her husband, Dani, and their friends before stepping aside and letting her costar partake in the spotlight.

Dani choked down an urge to laugh out loud as Smarty tiptoed out on stage in a pink evening dress and sexy heels. She could see Herman, Benny, and Roger also fighting the same contagious urge. Really everyone in the Ink and Paint Club was stifling the urge.

The only patron outwardly laughing was Greasy, who pointed and openly mocked his feminized brother.

Overcoming his nervousness—and Greasy—Smarty opened his mouth and sang his heart out. He sauntered out onto the runway with Jessica, swinging his tail to the Crow Band jive. Smarty continued singing, for he had found his true calling

"Good lord I swear I'll go deaf," Dani uttered. Calling over Betty, she ordered a set of earplugs and plugged up her ears.

Benny and Herman gave the inspector four thumbs up.

Deaf to the raucous singing, Dani Sharpe leaned back in her cushioned seat in silent bliss. Her fingers traced the inspector's badge on her belt, the symbol of her achievement and the sacrifices made to attain it.

Still, one mystery boggled the inspector: Why did Smarty love wearing pink zoot suits and dresses? Dani gazed past the club's ceiling toward the stars shining above her.

"That's one case I don't have to solve. Right, Eddie?" she whispered.

The End


End file.
